Colleague has said I'm vain a few times

[Spottttty]

Well not said it, but heavily implied it. I could understand if I'm going around saying 'Look at me I'm soo beautiful' but obviously this isn't the case.

She's said this because I sometimes put make up on or use a mirror at work at lunch. So what? Like it's not affecting her in any way.
She's made comments about 3 times, I've just laughed but next time I'll say something maybe?

It might just be friendly ribbing as she's nice otherwise but not sure what her goal is. She's someone who doesn't wear a scrap of make up and that's up to her, I'm not someone who can do that and that's just me.

Who cares?

You, obviously. As you’re so het up about women daring to look in their own personal compact mirrors in a public space instead of trotting off to the toilets so they don’t dare to offend anyone with their vanity.

Jesus wept.

This is becoming farcical. Nobody has said people “ can’t survive it.”

Why don’t you just consider broadening your awareness to consider taking on board the fact that other people may have different views around people ( not just women; men included ) attending to their body in public instead of reaching for the old misogyny banner and waving it forlornly.

I don’t see this as a vanity issue.

I’ve not said a word about vanity. Do whatever you like.
🤷‍♀️

Well obviously there are sadder things in the world. You know, genocide, people living in poverty, incurable diseases, natural disasters etc.

But the thread is centred on shaming women (and implying they are vain, attention seeking, unhygienic) who dare to put on a bit of makeup in front of other people.

So yeah, I do think that’s pretty sad. Is that okay?

What’s particularly sad is the poor reading comprehension being demonstrated.

I honestly don’t think that’s what is being said.

its about doing things that are private in private . So for instance the Sinex squirter ( male) was mentioned. That’s hardly a vanity issue.
The posters who mentioned hygiene were the ones DEFENDING canteen application of make-up on the basis that other tasks ( such as brushing teeth) were being distinguished as unhygienic to perform in public.
There’s a lot of triggered “ pro forma” response going on .

Why would I want to hum "you're so vain" every time she was near? 🤭😂

I probably wouldn't put more than lipstick on in a Rec Room. But using a mirror to check you don't have something in your teeth is fine by me!

I'd probably actually say "oh, I hate it when you get food on your face and nobody ever tells you!" whilst (although this part I'd probably chicken out on) looking at her as if she regularly has food on her face...

Oh btw... I don't give a flying flump if you paint your nails or do your full face of make up or totally redo your hair in a rec room...

I've had a heart attack in a Rec Room and people were offended that I had to take my bra off and get in the W position just to, you know, stay alive.

Although "personal grooming" sounds like you're trimming your pubes which probably is a BIT much for a Rec Room...
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
(Emojis purely to annoy that person).

If a man chooses to wear makeup I don't want to see him doing it either!

OFGS

I have no doubt in my mind what you look like, no doubt!

Quite the superpower you have there. Sounds fun.

100% agree with this

I think it's a subtle message to do your make up in the toilet tbh

what conversation?

So lipstick OK because lips are seductive, as long as you can do it by feel, and as long as its quick

Mascara not ok as some can't put it on without making a weird face (why?) Even though it may be just as quick. Time concern.

Concealer no even though its just pale lipstick applied to a non seductive area. And drawing attention to a spot on someone else's face might make the voyeur feel uncomfortable

Handcream ok even though its still personal grooming as it's out of sight

Redoing a quick pony tail not ok (grooming in sight)

Sinex - question mark as medical and was done at a desk, not a table

Applying makeup is very private, so do it in the toilet so you can make shitting colleagues feel uncomfortable at your presence

Megifer it’s just part of getting yourself ready for the day - like putting on your knickers, brushing your teeth. The same goes for men shaving etc. It would look weird if some guy whipped his electric shaver out at lunch and sat shaving himself in the canteen. It’s not sexist; it’s got nothing to do with gender and everything to do with what’s appropriate in a public space.

There are also further comprehension malfunctions in your summaries: who said sinex was ok? You said you saw someone ( a man I might add) do it but I don’t recall anyone saying well sticking his sinex up his nose in front of everyone is fine. On the contrary it’s been used as an example of how the idea of keeping things private isn’t about gender.

I also didn’t see anyone say lipstick was ok “ because lips are seductive.” There was some digressive discussion around the idea that that’s why it apparently gives men the horn; but no one said that’s why it’s fine. There was discussion of the fact that if lipstick application is as drawn out and indiscreet as the method you outlined, then that should probably be done in a bathroom too. People don’t want to be involved in your grooming and ablutions and general tidying yourself up to how you want to present yourself. Present yourself how you like; but plenty of people will find it socially awkward if you do it publicly.

There’s no point coming back and back with inaccurate summaries of the discussion. That isn’t going to convince us.

At this point I honestly wonder how some pps get themselves through the day. if they're so horrified by a quick glance in the mirror or cosmetic touch-up. Must be exhausting.

@Calliopespa you’re far too generous with the sincere responses. Some people just want mass anarchy and we are getting in the way of it by mentioning manners and social norms. It’s hard to start a revolution if you have to go to all the way to the loo just to reapply your mascara.

I think it’s the walk the toilet that must tire you lot out. Can’t be bothered, obviously.

So funny why people still can’t say why it’s an issue other than “it just is” 😂

mocking a colleague is obviously much worse behaviour.

I wonder if the OP looks around the canteen and sees all the other ladies doing exactly the same? Or just thinks they all look like shit because they don’t take the time to refresh themselves at the lunch table.

Also, how do you actually wash your hands before eating if you can’t be bothered to visit the toilets? Do you even bother? And after? Or just, a bit of need mayonnaise on the keyboard never killed anyone?

It’s not a race to the bottom.

Well truthfully I tend not to bother. I get myself properly ready in the morning. Maybe a quick glance when I go to the loo. Honestly, it’s easy!

And noone is horrified: they just think it’s a bit tone deaf. Except op’s colleague who seems to have had a more proactive response. Op asked: we told her.

And fwiw I don’t think the subject line is accurate. I don’t think she thinks op is being vain; I think she thinks she’s needing a bit of guidance/ self awareness.