Colleague has said I'm vain a few times

[Spottttty]

Well not said it, but heavily implied it. I could understand if I'm going around saying 'Look at me I'm soo beautiful' but obviously this isn't the case.

She's said this because I sometimes put make up on or use a mirror at work at lunch. So what? Like it's not affecting her in any way.
She's made comments about 3 times, I've just laughed but next time I'll say something maybe?

It might just be friendly ribbing as she's nice otherwise but not sure what her goal is. She's someone who doesn't wear a scrap of make up and that's up to her, I'm not someone who can do that and that's just me.

We certainly do know social norms don’t matter to everyone.

Also, are you trying to shame women by describing them as “very vocal”?

Because of the vote on this thread and the comments on this thread? And the fact a lot of people I know would just readjust their makeup infront of others and have never had any problems.

Im saying your code because it’s not my code or a lot of others - it’s not THE code, it’s a code YOU follow, not everyone. Hope this helps 🫶

Yes the behaviour on this thread - you included have supported the idea that a woman deserves to be mocked. In reality, if you have a problem with someone or something you either use your words or keep it to yourself.

I specifically addressed that in my post. I explained that social norms change over time. Dress codes, behavioural codes etc have obviously not remained static across centuries.

50 years ago everyone would have agreed that putting on make up would be inappropriate. In another 50 years everyone will probably think it's perfectly ok. We're at a tipping point where it seems cose to 50/50, so some people holding to the old social norm and some people holding to the newer one.

Not at all. I'm a vocal woman myself. The point I was making was that just because they're being vocal doesn't lend their position extra weight, it just means it's been expressed more often.

Genuine question, though: why are you so invested in following the herd and doing what everybody else does?

Nice try but I’ve never said anyone deserved to be mocked.

You don’t get it make things up.

I specifically addressed that in my post. I explained that social norms change over time.

'Explained'? raises one eyebrow

In all honesty - I imagine the majority would find it acceptable now as mumsnet is a specific subset of the population.

And, to be frank, my issue isn’t with peoples opinion about putting makeup on and where it’s appropriate to do it - it’s the fact women on this thread are so happy to support someone being mocked for it. It’s disgusting.

I’m not - you’re obvs supporting the colleague who mocked the OP. Therefore, you are supporting the notion that someone deserves to be mocked. Tut tut.

Why would you call simple manners which are often self-evident to most “following the herd”? It’s not a hardship to put my makeup on or adjust my underwear in the bathroom or somewhere else privately. I don’t really have any other inclination, personally. Why is it such a big deal?

Then why were your previous posts all about supposedly not understanding people's opinions about a specific public behaviour?

You keep finding new things to focus on.

🙄 You don’t believe that and you don’t deserve any further attention.

Because no one can explain why it’s so horrible to put makeup on in public - it just is isn’t a reason.

I do believe it, and I believe you just simply can’t justify yourself. Have a nice weekend, hope you don’t encounter anyone sorting their makeup in public.

It’s a tactic of someone that doesn’t have a point to stand on. Like putting words in someone’s mouth and then berating them for your own made up nonsense.

Yeah it’s been pretty unanimous that the mocking was inappropriate,

There has been a lot of twisting of the counter-arguments on this thread.

And barraging posters with questions then calling them “ vocal “ is another example of not seeing things as they are.

… yes and a lot of putting words in mouths too.

Tbh I’m not sure they have actually followed the arguments.

It is a reason. It's a normal human behaviour to create social norms. If I ask you why blue is a boy's colour, the answer is that it's what is generally accepted. There is no depeper reason about wave lengths or genetic differences or whatever.

If I ask why it's inappropriate to go to work in a bikini (and also strange to go to the beach in a suit) the answer is again that it just is. Same with brushing your teeth in public or putting on roll-on deodorant or, yes, applying makeup in the staff break room.

Oh puddles you are so unnuanced in your thought processes.

Um, because not all of us think it's bad manners to touch one's face up in front of others? As has been amply demonstrated on this thread.

That's an interesting take. You seem to be viewing 'vocal' as though it was meant insultingly. If you mean my post, I was making an objective statement. I've been vocal too. I actually think being vocal is a positive quality.

I am confused now about what you think “following the herd” actually means.

Doing things/not doing things for no better reason than because they are or aren't considered 'done'.

I’ve never said it was because “it’s not done”.

And if loads of people are doing it, how is not doing it “following the herd.”

Not in those words, but you've said plenty about 'social norms'. It's reasonable to draw from that the inference that you think certain things should be done/not done simply because that's what 'social norms' dictate. The term 'social norms' also carries the sense of 'what everyone should be doing.'