Colleague has said I'm vain a few times

[Spottttty]

Well not said it, but heavily implied it. I could understand if I'm going around saying 'Look at me I'm soo beautiful' but obviously this isn't the case.

She's said this because I sometimes put make up on or use a mirror at work at lunch. So what? Like it's not affecting her in any way.
She's made comments about 3 times, I've just laughed but next time I'll say something maybe?

It might just be friendly ribbing as she's nice otherwise but not sure what her goal is. She's someone who doesn't wear a scrap of make up and that's up to her, I'm not someone who can do that and that's just me.

Basically she's copied/mimicked me or laughed at me doing it.

Use that famous mumsnet expression 'did you mean to be rude?'

Personal grooming should take place in private. Is she in the bathroom with you when you are doing these things? She is probably trying to tell you that you shouldn't be using a mirror to fix your face in public.

I've put yanbu as, as you say, everyone is entitled to do their own thing and yours is wearing make up, but I've never understood people who perform personal grooming in public either... Maybe go to the bathroom then she won't see you?

If you're not bothered enough to groom at your desk then you need to be thicker skinned enough to say bugger off you cheeky mare 😂🤷🏼‍♀️

Nope it's a group of us at lunch sitting together in the canteen. Some talking, some on their phones, some reading. I don't see how me putting on a bit of concealer or mascara is so offensive 🤣

Can you make a joke of it? Say something like ´I see makeup as part of my armour for the day’. Or if you’re doing a touch up before a big client meeting ´got to put my warface on’.
Also, you might be reading her meaning wrong. She might not be thinking that you’re vain at all, but more that makeup is unnecessary. She doesn’t wear any so she might think you’d actually be more beautiful without it.
That’s not how you see it. And that’s fine. She doesn’t get a vote on how you choose to present yourself. A little funny remark about what wearing makeup means to you might make you feel less like a victim of her ribbing. If she’s mostly lovely to you then odds on she isn’t trying hard to make you feel bad.

It's also not for her to dictate where I do it

Yeah maybe it's all from a good place, I'll try to see it like that.

You really shouldn't be doing your make-up in the canteen, that's really not ok

Is she offended? I wouldn't get that from her comment but I do think it's unusual to put make up on in a canteen, I dont think I've seen that anywhere that I've worked

She sounds bored to repeat it three times. Just say ‘yes so you keep saying’ in a flat voice on repeat.

I rarely wear makeup but would never comment on someone else doing so (at least not negatively. I might say “I love your lipstick” or something.)

I don’t see anything wrong with a brief touch-up in the canteen. Not in a restaurant but other than that surely it’s ok?

It's up to you, as it's up to her not to wear a scrap of makeup.

But putting your makeup on in a canteen when with a group of colleagues is unpleasant.

She doesn’t like the thought of people putting make up on in a food establishment, you don’t like her commenting on it. She’s as entitled to comment on it as you are to put make up on in the canteen.

It's literally a big social room with chairs, a microwave and a fridge. I'm just touching it up a bit/using a mirror. Don't see an issue?

From someone who is vain and touches up my lippy and powder at lunchtime, I'd just say "I know". However, nobody has ever said it because I don't and wouldn't do it in the canteen or at my desk.

The canteen is a strange place for you to get a mirror out & start doing your make up. I would go to the toilets to do make up or do it at desk discreetly it that wasn't an option.

Eek I don’t think the canteen
is the place to do your makeup. She maybe doesn’t either which is why she’s commenting. Just do it in the toilets like most people.

I personally think that putting on concealer or mascara in a canteen at work during lunch is a bit unnecessary- why don't you pop to the cloakroom? I wouldn't comment on it but would privately wonder why you had to make a performance of putting on your make up (& I do wear make up myself).

An extreme example but I was once on a plane and a woman next to me spent the whole flight putting on very elaborate make up ... I was actually quite fascinated as it gave her a completely different look which would have no doubt melted once we arrived in our very hot destination .

Just go to the toilets and reapply your make up. I wear make up at work, nobody has ever commented because I'm not sat there reapplying it in front of everyone. If I saw a colleague doing that while we were sat having lunch I would think she wanted someone to comment on it.

Maybe you could offer to give her some makeup tips next time she makes a comment?

If it's just a colleague rec room that you all take breaks in I don't see an issue with touching up a bit of mascara!

It's a rec room as opposed to a restaurant as such, I should've made that clearer. Also she said it when I wasn't applying make up, just using a mirror.

You don't see an issue but other people do, some people don't like it. You probably don't like people picking their nose infront of you, they may think it doesn't affect you etc

I think the generally accepted rule is that applying a bit of lipstick in public is fine, but anything else should be done in the ladies. So if she’d asked you to do it elsewhere, that would be fair enough - but to call you vain seems OTT and unpleasant. Unless she was heavily hinting that it shouldn’t be done in a common room type set up and it got lost in translation somehow?

Enough people think it's an odd thing to do in public for her to arguably nbu and for you to bu. It's you who's interpreting her comment as meaning you're vain. It sounds more like she just thinks it's weird / inappropriate to do it in a group setting like that. And there is something odd about caring how you look so much that you need to reapply your mascara, but not caring that you look a bit daft doing it. Just wait till you're in the loos, or have the courage of your convictions and put up with the ribbing. You can't dictate her behaviour any more than she can dictate yours.