To think it is not normal to be at a bar at 1.30am with work

[Peonii]

Just need to be told I'm being insane.

DH in Germany having meetings. It's an early start tomorrow. He messaged at 10pm saying they're in the bar and will call when he's back in his room in an hour... He still hasn't called.

AIBU to think one wouldn't be out until 1.30am at a bar if you have an early start the next day?

but also most of the time when I've been entertaining i have said "do you need to phone home/work/have quiet time"

and when i've been entertained they often schedule time for personal things. And if they didn't i just say "just phoning home, back in 30 minutes" or whatever. Everyone involved is an adult. It's not difficult.

Having said that: i got unexpectedly and suddenly drunk the other week. I wouldn't have phoned anyone at that time, it simply wouldn't have crossed my mind.

He "chose to make you anxious" and "forced you to wait until 2am"?!?!

@Jane2025 You sound equally as paranoid as the OP. Sorry that your relationship is so unhealthy and untrusting that you can't go to sleep until you know your (adult) DP is tucked up in bed on his works trip.

Oh and FYI, nobody can "make you" anxious. You either are an anxious person or you're not.

You're welcome.

Well to be fair, he did. At 10pm. I wouldn't ask again an hour later 😂

@Jane2025 are you "anxious" and therefore expect everyone to dance to your tune, or you'll be more "anxious"?

It's called controlling.

*You sound absolutely batshit crazy to be honest, imagine being so enraged and hysterical about a comment not addressed to you that you just cannot let it go and have to witter on and on.

Your opinion is wrong.*

The irony is hilarious! Wittering in!

"You sound drunk, or mental." Perhaps you would like to think again about that post.

It is actually hilarious.

@Jane2025 has just exploded into the thread, called 90% of the poster batshit, 'cool wives' (whatever that is) and told us all with such confidence that all of our opinions are wrong 😅😅😅

@Jane2025 I'd love to know what you do for work and what your family set up is, please enlighten us 🙏

Sorry that you are exhausted OP. Is there any help available to you? Sounds like you need a break

that sounds rubbish and you both need to communicate better

I know creepy people always want to know more about strangers on the internet, but I won't indulge your stalkery nonsense thanks.

Cool wives and hysterical misogynists lie about themselves constantly anyway, and anyone can be anything online.

Speaking for myself, in the OP's scenario I would be the partner who was away for work and entertaining clients until late, and my husband would be at home in bed asleep, not expecting to hear from me, because he would know I was working, and trusting me not to immediately leap into bed with someone else just because I was away, because our relationship is pretty solid.

Does that make me the cool wife, or am I married to a cool husband?

I actually love being a "cool wife" and not offended in the slightest. So much better than being a "highly strung, anxious and untrusting wife" don't you think??? 😘

@Jane2025 so now I'm creepy and a stalker? I'm purely asking what you do for a living because you are so adamant that you know what is and isn't professional conduct on a work trip... but I have a sneaking suspicion that you have actually never been on a work trip entertaining clients.

But sure, call me mental, cool wife, misogynist... whatever you think will deflect attention away from the fact that you're talking out your arse with no lived experience to back up your opinion.

And 'creepy' people judge by their own low standards...

You've had around a dozen comments on this chat deleted.

Perhaps some introspection is required Jane?

@Jane2025 creepy people get their weird comments removed.

It's an hour ahead x

🙄

He is on a work trip. He is with his colleagues. He does not need to be on the end of the line to you constantly. He has sent a text, you know he is safe. It is a bit needy to be hanging on to a phone call. He will be back in a few days.