10 year old using the tube alone?!!

[LIKley]

DD is in Y6, her school has kids from all over London and we are used to her friends not being super close geographically.
DD’s best friend is one of the youngest in their year, so only 10 right now.

Planning a sleepover for the girls as they won’t be at the same school next year, I asked the girls parents how she will be getting to ours and was asked if I could meet her at my nearest tube station, I assumed a parent would be meeting me there with her but no they intend to let their 10 year old get the tube alone + 2 line changes one of them either at Victoria or Green Park which if you know London are hardly going to be quiet and easy to navigate at 10.

Parent insists it’s fine and the girl knows the stations well and has been using one of them alone to get to a hobby all of Y6!!

Now I know know, most kids will be getting the tube to school alone in just a couple of months but the thought of asking a 10 year old to navigate a busy station like Victoria on her own makes me feel ill!

AIBU to say to the parents that I’ll just pick her up from there house? Equally AIBU to think it’s bloody absurd to have a 10 year old make this journey?

Nobody under 13 should be using the tube alone

Why not?

Reasons, @RawBloomers. <taps nose> Reasons. On their 13th birthday they will be fine, but the day before ... not.

What an enormous change there has been in my lifetime. Some parents appear to be unable to contemplate allowing their children to take any risks at all, but unfortunately there comes a time when it has to be done. Their healthy development depends on learning how to carry out simple everyday tasks independently. No wonder we have an epidemic of anxiety amongst young people.

Back in the 1960s when I was growing up, I think my family was fairly typical. My brother and I had the sort of independence as children that many teenagers now don't appear to have. I had my own latchkey while still at primary school, often went to the shops to buy bread and so on (earliest occasion I can recall I was 5, I know this because we moved to a new town when I was 5.5), used the bus on my own from the age of 7 at the latest to go to the library to change my library books, made my own way to and from school, played out totally unsupervised by adults etc etc.

Yes, many children in those days did come to harm as a result of this lack of adult oversight - mostly from traffic accidents and injuries from doing stupid things. A small number would have fallen prey to sexual assault from predatory adults and older children. There would have been bullying, undoubtedly. But for those of us who managed to avoid those hazards it was a big help in developing independence, resilience, social skills, assertiveness and an ability to spot and assess risks.

In the decades since, the pendulum has swung the other way as many parents and legislators decided that children were being exposed to too many hazards, so needed more adult supervision. The result has been a big drop in injuries and deaths from accidents, but as so often there are other unintended consequences, and a lack of independence and resilience seems to be one of them. I don't know what the answer is. My own children (now in their 30s) certainly had far less freedom than their father and I had, but probably more than children do now.

British Transport Police have absolutely no issues with 11 year olds travelling unaccompanied.

DD has been taking 2 trains to school since she was just turned 11 on her own and never had an issue. She was particularly tiny in Y7 and they did stop her once to check she was okay (at Victoria) but never since.

How do you think thousands of children get to school everyday in London?

DD has been using the tube alone since she was 10.

Born and brought up in London, we trained her what to do if we got separated, how to read a tube map, who to ask for advice, how to navigate key interchanges etc from a very young age.

At 10 she started with very short journeys - primary were instrumental in helping with this. Started with her walking from school to tube alone (3 major roads to cross) and school would call me to say she was leaving and I would call to say she'd arrived. Then moved to walk from school and tube to mainline station with same checks from school. After a week she was a pro.

At (just turned) 11 i was getting london buses and tubes on my own to go to school and back, and on the weekend would go a couple of stops to go to the cinema/shops with friends. It doesn't seem that different to me and presumably parents took baby steps to build her up to this. My only concern would be if she is changing at a station she doesn't know but equally if shea used to taking the tube i doubt they would be a problem. Getting the bus or tube isn't more dangerous than walking and i would definitely expect a 10 year old to be able to walk neighbourhood roads by themselves.

Having been on both they are quite similar. If anything tokyo is 'worse' as its busier and bigger.

My DS started taking the tube alone to school age 10/year 6. It builds confidence and independence. Lots of kids in London do I see them everyday on the tube