10 year old using the tube alone?!!

[LIKley]

DD is in Y6, her school has kids from all over London and we are used to her friends not being super close geographically.
DD’s best friend is one of the youngest in their year, so only 10 right now.

Planning a sleepover for the girls as they won’t be at the same school next year, I asked the girls parents how she will be getting to ours and was asked if I could meet her at my nearest tube station, I assumed a parent would be meeting me there with her but no they intend to let their 10 year old get the tube alone + 2 line changes one of them either at Victoria or Green Park which if you know London are hardly going to be quiet and easy to navigate at 10.

Parent insists it’s fine and the girl knows the stations well and has been using one of them alone to get to a hobby all of Y6!!

Now I know know, most kids will be getting the tube to school alone in just a couple of months but the thought of asking a 10 year old to navigate a busy station like Victoria on her own makes me feel ill!

AIBU to say to the parents that I’ll just pick her up from there house? Equally AIBU to think it’s bloody absurd to have a 10 year old make this journey?

It's generally not safer to drive than catch the Tube in terms of actual chance of a serious accident. The parents may actively prefer their child who they know is confident using the Tube, use it, rather than be driven by an unknown driver (they may know you but not how you drive).

The fact that the stations are busy would be a comfort to me as a parent, means there are lots of people to ask for help in an emergency, lots of witnesses. It's travelling during quieter times or quieter outer London stations that I'd be more worried about

You don’t override a parents decision for THEIR child.

Parents might allow it, but it's simply bad parenting. 10 year olds on the tube alone is daft. The amount if weirdos I see on the tube and old men hitting on young girls....those parents are taking a huge gamble.

My kids grew up in London and since they were very young, I always let them work out the route, would tell them to take control and I would follow. They both would have definitely managed to negotiate this journey alone by the time they were 10.

The tube is very safe in my opinion and much easier to navigate and correct if you’ve gone wrong than buses.

The fact that it will be busy is better in my opinion. I live in London and if I saw a child that age in some kind of trouble I'd help/intervene and so would so many other Londoners. When you think about what she is doing, if she knows the way, has a phone if needed, then she should be absolutely fine.

Absolutely ridiculous attitude. She’s not going to be abducted.

Depends on the 10yo. A 10yo from another city using tube for first time? Obviously not. 10yo thats used the tube since young, familiar route etc. Fine!

From the other posts, I think I am
in the minority here…
Admittedly, I live a long way from London (Shropshire). However the thought of this would absolutely terrify me.
Navigating stations is one thing. Yep, great.
But what if some unsavoury character sees her on her own and does something awful to her. She wouldn’t stand a chance.
I just couldn’t.

How hopeless are English kids, if most parents can’t imagine them doing anything on their own. Children all over the world manage a high degree of independence at much younger ages (all through Asia, Africa and South America). Assuming that English children are not stupider, it must be parental anxiety that makes the average 12’year old English child less capable than a 6 year child from Japan who happily wears their train pass on a lanyard around their neck and catches the subway to school.

The problem is these over protected kids turn 18. go to university, and struggle to manage. They develop anxiety, and stay in their room playing games.

I wouldn’t let my 10 year old do this but equally, this is not your daughter or your call it’s her parents and you need to respect that.

I allow my 10 year old to walk to a friend’s house a few quiet streets away (less than a 5 minute walk). I always ask that they allow her to walk home alone and message me when she’s on the way but the friends parents don’t like this and insist on walking her home. I don’t say anything because I know it’s out of kindness but I do find it a little judgmental and disrespectful of my parenting decisions.

Jesus.

Whoever said child won't be using public transport until 14.

Some of you need to read this: The Anxious Generation : How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness by Jonathan Haidt: New (2024) No | Ria Christie Collections (abebooks.co.uk)

In Japan, kids of 6/7 travel in public transport like this to get to school etc - it’s the norm. Children in this country are mollycoddled in my opinion. Also, she’s not your child!

The tube is actually one of the safest ways to get around and far safer than a bus in my experience.

Ultimately it depends on the child. A child of ten who is experienced at independent tube travel will take it in their stride, a less mature and more anxious child may not. My daughter would have been fine with it but if she had signalled to me that she was uncomfortable I would have accompanied her.

Let the child and the parents be the judge of this though OP: you sound slightly anxious but it’s their call.

An “unsavoury character” is not going to be able to approach this child on a busy train.

If an "unsavoury character" wanted a preteen girl, they would more likely look near a Secondary school at 3pm. Not a random tube at 10am on a Saturday.

Much easier than the bus,I agree.

Probably not, but all it takes is for that person to realise she is alone and then follow her off the train.
As a criminal defence solicitor, I have spoken with a number of predatory people over the years who have told me they have specifically targeted children who were alone and vulnerable.
I accept my job may make me more cautious but why take the risk?

Because in reality there is almost no risk. Tens of thousands of children of this age get public transport to school every day and they’re all fine. The would be more at risk in the back of their parents’ car. But fatal car crashes (which happen every day) don’t make the news and child abductions (which happen extremely rarely) make front page headlines, so parents convince themselves stranger danger is what’s going to harm their kids rather than something much more mundane. And then, like a PP pointed out, we wonder why we have a teenage mental health crisis.

Good for them for travel training their child in good time for the secondary transition.
You can offer to give them a lift if it makes you happier but they will know their own child.

I've had this exact problem with my 11y.o son and Ex P wanting him to not use trainline ( NOT London underground and he was travelling one train stop ONLY ) My son wanted to travel on his own. As it was a well used route for us as a family. I was told that British transport police do not allow children under the age of 12 years old to travel unaccompanied. Equally I've NO idea how or where the British transport police operate or even if this is true ? But honestly I'd personally struggle to leave a child aged 10 years old ( sensible and responsible or not !!) to travel on any train especially London underground. Especially female children too. Not entirely safe at all. But then maybe that's just me !

Wow 10 feels so young these days and it’s nowhere near as safe as it used to be when we were little.

Evidence for this?

The only child ever abducted from the London tube was forty years ago. The tube was less safe then than now.

This so wrong.