10 year old using the tube alone?!!

[LIKley]

DD is in Y6, her school has kids from all over London and we are used to her friends not being super close geographically.
DD’s best friend is one of the youngest in their year, so only 10 right now.

Planning a sleepover for the girls as they won’t be at the same school next year, I asked the girls parents how she will be getting to ours and was asked if I could meet her at my nearest tube station, I assumed a parent would be meeting me there with her but no they intend to let their 10 year old get the tube alone + 2 line changes one of them either at Victoria or Green Park which if you know London are hardly going to be quiet and easy to navigate at 10.

Parent insists it’s fine and the girl knows the stations well and has been using one of them alone to get to a hobby all of Y6!!

Now I know know, most kids will be getting the tube to school alone in just a couple of months but the thought of asking a 10 year old to navigate a busy station like Victoria on her own makes me feel ill!

AIBU to say to the parents that I’ll just pick her up from there house? Equally AIBU to think it’s bloody absurd to have a 10 year old make this journey?

And rather them in busy stations which also tend to have more staff than in quieter ones which are usually less staffed!

And honestly, from some of the behaviour I’ve seen from teens on buses, I’d feel much more comfortable letting a tween use the tube than the bus.

well unless she's going into the train station at victoria, its not very difficult. changing from different tube lines at victoria is fine, there are signs everywhere and staff

It is a bit daunting but if she's been doing it already and her parents have deduced she's responsible enough, then it will be fine.

Clearly they're not blasé about it as they want you to meet her from the station.
plus there is phone signal in the tube now so she'll be contactable

YABU. The parents are obviously comfortable and confident with this and they are the parents. I'd be absolutely livid if you tried to overrule what I had agreed with my DD (and she would be furious and upset too. ExBIL tried this with my DD just the other day when she was setting out to walk home from MIL's house so I know exactly how I'd feel and how DD felt).

And I think the fact that this child is 10 is a bit of a red herring - she's coming to the end of Year 6. The reality is that there's always a bit of a disconnect because of the wide difference in ages within a year group that inevitably means some of the older children in a year group might not get to do things as "early" as their peers.

The parents and the child are comfortable. The one thing they are NOT sure about, is the child navigating from the station to your house and they have asked you to collect accordingly. Brilliant. Do that.

It doesn't matter how mature a child is.. they are still not fully able to deal with an unexpected situation. Today on the tube as a grown woman I had to deal with a man openly trying to show us all his zip was undone. A woman who was coughing all over us and another man who was clearly mentally unstable. I'm an adult and it gets stressful. Don't over estimate a child's ablity then you've lost sight of the fact they are still a child.

Only on Mumsnet could the tube be too frightening for a 10 year old.

Inuse tube to Victoria every day and tou had more experience in one day than i get in years of commuting
I also see plenty of children by themselves on the tube.

Mine started using the tube alone in the summer term of Year 5 into London Bridge. They had been on and off the tube all their lives and were very familiar with it. Personally I think the big interchanges (except Kings Cross) are better as they have more staff around and a lot of signposting - Victoria is very clear. Green Park is also a very easy interchange as if the worst comes to the worst all the exit escalators take you to the ticket hall and it is really easy to then hop on the down escalator to the line you need.

I think it is really good that her parents have worked on this aspect well in advance of year 7.

this can happen on any mode of transport, most children will be taught to move away and ignore.

Kids go to school/travel alone at some point, we have to equip them and let them navigate the world. At what age is up to individual parents but it's inevitable regardless.

We can only hope that other surrounding adults would intervene if they saw someone harassing or intimidating a child and make sure any child you know has been taught what to do.

Do you really believe it goes from 'absurd' to completely fine over the summer holidays?!

I wouldn't be comfortable with a ten year old doing 2 line changes through busy stations, although would be fine with them using the tube more generally. I don't think it's 'absurd' though.

I think you're absurd for thinking using the tube at nearly 11 is absurd!

I think it's fine for a confident kid raised in London.

For a child visiting London for the day? No.

I'd be a lot happier if it was Green Park as an interchange, much easier for anyone. Victoria has been modernised and now it's a longer walk and less easy than before.

And I think it's a bit disingenuous to make a big thing of her being 10 - even if she is the youngest she possibly can be in Y6, with a 31 August birthday, she'll be 11 in 11 weeks, and her peer group and social expectations will be that of an end of Y6 child, not that of an end of Y5 child.

I think the girl can change at either Green Park or Victoria, she needs to get from the Piccadilly or district/circle line to Victoria line then change at Stockwell which is fine as it’s one of the easiest changes on the network!

I just can’t imagine DD doing the same journey at all!

My DS was travelling independently on tube, buses and overland from the age of 11. I don't see that a year younger makes much difference if the child is sufficiently mature etc.

This is not your call to make. You need to accept the parents’ plan or cancel.

I took the bus and tube to school aged 6, OK a long time ago.

My child has been using the tube, a bus, overground and change at Victoria station, since 11. It really depends on the child. The next was not capable of going to the corner shop at 11, but the first was fine getting about

YABU, her parents know what she is capable of, and if she's been travelling independently by tube to her hobby for the whole year then she clearly is capable.

Same.

I didn't grow up in London but in another city with a similar underground system. I remember going on the tube myself or with classmates, and being picked up at exits. I usually wait inside the turnstiled area, so a bit different from London underground. But that won't make it anymore unsafe just because the girl has used her card pass the gates?

I think it's totally fine unless you are talking about very quiet times on the trains.

If most will be doing it in two months then why not this young person now, especially if they've been taught how to use the tube and, presumably, deal with problems. Tbh, I'm surprised if you live in London that you don't know more people with independent kids.

Is this because your daughter isn’t quite ready for it or because you yourself are naturally quite cautious? As PP have said, there’s nothing objectively wrong with a mature London-raised 10yo about to enter secondary school doing this journey alone. If you can’t imagine your own daughter doing it that sounds like a specific your family issue, rather than a general “this is ridiculous” type issue.

I’m guessing from the description you live in south London on the Northern Line. That’s where I grew up! I did a very similar journey to the one you’re describing, including a change at Victoria, every day from 11 to get to school. I was a pretty dopey head-in-the-sky type child, but it was fine. Over the summer holidays before secondary, my parents made a big effort to force me to plan journeys - what route we would take, how to navigate interchanges etc. We spent several days with me leading them around the tube network. If I got it wrong, they let me go wrong and figure out how to fix it myself. It was good training.

It’a easier today because of smartphones. Teach your daughter how to use Citymapper and maybe encourage her to plan and lead some family outings on the tube. It will really help.

I was never fazed by a difficult change on the tube when I was young. My parents were worried about the walk between the train station and home or friends place only. That's why they asked you to pick her up at the station.