To think this woman begging was taking liberties?

[BlackFriYay]

As I was coming out of the dentist a bit woozy from anesthetic I was stopped outside the newsagents next door by a dishevelled woman asking me if I could buy her some food.

I vaguely recognise her as somebody who sits with the drinkers in the town centre.

I said I would and asked what she wanted, she said some eggs and some bread. No problem.

I followed her into the shop where she proceeded to select the biggest bag of Tilda rice that was there, the biggest tray of eggs they had, a big bottle of some kind of pricey fruit punch. There were much smaller / unbranded versions available.

She put it on the counter then went back to look for something else at which point I looked at the price stickers.

£10.99 for the rice
£5 something for the big tray of eggs
£4.99 for the big bottle of fruit punch

And she wasn't even finished.

I thought to myself not a chance this and told her it's too much and I can't help, sorry. Bye.

She then followed me out of the shop asking if I can give her £10.

I'm happy to help somebody to a reasonable extent but I think she was taking the complete piss out of me.

What would you have done?

Yes that is asking far too much. I would have thought she was asking for a sandwich or something like that.

I'm now wondering if she chose those things on purpose in order to sell them 🤔

Yeah too much.

Also a chance that once you'd left she would return the items to get a refund in cash

I am very glad you said no and walked away, it can be daunting to try and extract yourself, and you can end up swept along.

I had a beggar come up to me and complain it was unfair I had given something to another beggar but not to him, recently, and I almost agreed..

Sadly my thoughts went to her choosing things to sell

Giving to homeless charities or buying The Big Issue (I don't either) I'd probably a more effective way to help.

I was in a small village store a few days ago and an elderly lady asked the staff if she could pick a few things and pay them at the end of the week. They nodded and she was clearly a regular. She proceeded to ask for a small bottle of rum, a couple of scratch cards and some fags as well as the normal bread and milk. They refused and she started arguing with them.

Some of them take the piss
A beggar asked me for some money. I usually decline but I was in a very good mood that day and gave her five pounds
She then had the audacity to ask me to buy her some food items from the local Tesco.
I asked for my five pounds back and gave her two pounds instead

Either they give her a bit of credit, as a regular customer, or they don't. I don't agree that they can decide what she's allowed to buy with the credit. If she wants a cigarette and a wee dram why not? It wasn't as if she wanted them to give her the things. I'm not sure you are allowed to gamble on credit though, so scratch cards maybe not.

Ha this reminds me of the time I declined to give someone money and offered to get her something from Greggs instead.

While I was paying for the items she chose, she started shoplifting and got annoyed when I told her to stop.

I was almost an accomplice there!

I only give to orgs providing food, never directly to them because there's no way you can tell they won't sell it (apart from the man with the dog who I brought dog food from home for, I got to know him

Of course she could sell them. But she should have just asked for one thing. How would she even carry a sack of rice and 24 eggs?
I can see what she was trying to do, I guess she felt it less unsubtle than asking for money. But then blew her own cover by then demanding cash! Gawd. You've got to laugh really otherwise you'd cry. Maybe the patients from your dentists are all a soft touch?

Why would you even engage with them in the first place? If you're concerned about hunger/homelessness then there are loads of charities which you can donate to.

She has definitely abused your generosity and kicked herself in the foot, as now you’ll be reluctant to help her or others in need.

You were very kind to accept in the first place.

To use a cliche, beggars can't be choosers.

It seems the old saying of “beggars can’t be choosers” flew past her!

Because for some people it goes against the grain to ignore someone who is asking for help. I do agree that people should give to charity instead of to individuals but empathy is a strong emotion.

Either they give her a bit of credit, as a regular customer, or they don't. I don't agree that they can decide what she's allowed to buy with the credit. If she wants a cigarette and a wee dram why not? It wasn't as if she wanted them to give her the things.

@Bumblebeeinatree
It might have been the value, rather than the items. If they normally let her have some milk and bread and she pays later, that's a lot less than alcohol and cigarettes

Fine to raise an eyebrow, but your actions here were quite shitty I think!

Or possibly the large packs were for the gang which many beggars belong to?

Offering/buying on the street often tends not to end well, which is one reason it's recommended that you give to organisations which offer support instead.
It won't stop the hassling, but at least you can know you've done something to help instead of just walking by (though that's a perfectly valid choice too)

I felt sorry for her. I thought she must be hungry and desperate if she's asking strangers for food and not money.

The anesthetic made me a bit woozy and not totally with it so I didn't employ my critical thinking on the spot.

Luckily it kicked in before I was parted with my money!

I would have said no in the first place so that would have been the end of that.

I think that this is a ridiculous thing to say. This is one person, who acted like this. Why on earth should it cloud how the OP views others in the same position?

I understand why you would say that and you are entitled to your own opinion
My reasoning was that I had given her five pounds which is quite a bit to give someone.
Then for her to ask for me to buy food items.
I personally thought it was out of order.
It felt as though she was ungrateful for what I had given her

I dont like the phrase "beggars can't be choosers". I like to give beggars a choice, when I can. I think it is humanising