Brother and I can’t eat in public

[Voi]

Slightly exaggerated title but not a million miles off.

So brother and I have similar issues. We both cannot eat in the work canteen or partake in colleagues’ bakes. We have the same rationale. Why would I eat a big lunch (Shepherds pie) or sweet treat if I am not in a relaxed environment? Ie the food is not as yummy as it could be if it were eaten at home. As a result neither of us tend to eat lunch or breakfast during the work week. We do not work or live together but realised we have the same issue.

We both could never eat a McDonalds for example in the restaurant, would have to bring home to enjoy. But we can go out to a ‘proper’ sit down restaurant and enjoy a meal. So not that bad.

Just curious if you have come across this issue before?

I have that issue with yummy foods - eg a big chocolate pudding. I would only enjoy it alone.

But food as fuel..... well I have to eat as I get low blood sugar and feel ill, so just basic things I have to

Ignore, didn't read OP properly.

Odd

Were you shamed about your eating habits or just eating in public during your childhood?

Didn't want to read and not post. The only other person I know who had a big rule about never eating in front of others - was my aunt with undiagnosed anorexia who eventually unfortunately passed away from a condition related to it. Hers was severe - it was not just in public/certain places/certain foods - she could not be "seen eating" in front of anyone. This was in my country of origin where MH was/is v much tabboo and even I did not apply the anorexia label to her until much after I had moved to the West.

Not every meal has to be “yummy”. This is why so many people are obese. You have issues, so I would suggest targeted therapy.

Never heard of such behaviour, sounds a bit exhausting

MH? I presume you mean mental illness?

As a child of the 70s we were never allowed to eat in public as it was "common." We were allowed to eat in designated places like restaurants, just not on a bus or a bench or walking along. Is it a relic of that sort of upbringing?

Did your parents do similarly?
Is there neurodiversity in the family?

As a result neither of us tend to eat lunch or breakfast during the work week.

I can understand not enjoying being in a restaurant, I don't due to noise and obnoxious people, but never eating breakfast or lunch is really concerning. That isn't in any way healthy or normal.

Yes it's odd.

Food is fuel, I'm not that arsed if my lunch is "yummy" as long as it contains what I need to make my body do its job. Seeing food as somehow decadent, naughty or something that needs to be done in secret or private speaks to an unhealthy relationship with food.

We're you shamed in some way for your eating habits as a child? The only person I know who can't eat in public suffers from binge eating disorder and has a very unhealthy relationship with food.

Hmm have you sought help for this at all?

No neurodiversity.

Never shamed.

No because we are both a healthy weight, guess we make up for it at weekends.

I have a friend like this and it was because he was bullied by his father about finishing what was on his plate

Obviously I am aware of this.

No only brother and I exhibit
this behaviour. Our other brother does not do similar.

Brother and I are late 20s.

I work in my company’s hq. The canteen food is well liked but in my 5 years of working I have never eaten anything from there. Maybe a packet of crisps if feeling peckish. And plenty of coffees.

It might be worth looking for an open access counselling (iapt + your area should bring it up) to explore the root of this and see if you can overcome it?

Its great you're a normal weight but disordered eating can take so many forms.

If you want to change, then tomorrow get food from the canteen and eat it there, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Break the cycle.

Disagree. There are plenty of ways to enjoy a healthy, ‘yummy’ diet. My lunch today was a homemade jambalaya, about 300 cals, low carb with about 45g of protein, packed full of spices and veg and I can honestly say that it was delicious.

Nutritious doesn’t have to mean boring! Food is fuel, but you can absolutely make it taste amazing.

I don't like eating in a crowd of no one else is eating but I think that's from having braces for 6 years and being aware of getting food stuck in my braces.

I also can't eat at a buffet but that's more about anxiety over etiquette around taking too much food, my husband gets me a plate of food now, he's a keeper :)

I really struggle to eat on my first day at a new workplace as I'm not sure where to eat and where to sit etc but I get over that in a couple of days

Seems like our issues are different though as yours seem to be more focussed on the food and mine are more around the etiquette (even though most of the time only I care about it!)

Sounds very restrictive and unhealthy way to live! What about when you go on holiday/travel, visit friends or family elsewhere etc? Can you eat preprepared food whilst out, i.e., if you bring a packed lunch to work?

I was a bit like this in late teens-early twenties but it was because I was so self conscious. I don't think that there was a health impact, it was just like intermittent fasting I suppose. I have struggled to maintain my weight after going back to 2 or 3 meals a day.

Eventually got over it. Unusual that both you and your brother are both the same way though?