Brother and I can’t eat in public

[Voi]

Slightly exaggerated title but not a million miles off.

So brother and I have similar issues. We both cannot eat in the work canteen or partake in colleagues’ bakes. We have the same rationale. Why would I eat a big lunch (Shepherds pie) or sweet treat if I am not in a relaxed environment? Ie the food is not as yummy as it could be if it were eaten at home. As a result neither of us tend to eat lunch or breakfast during the work week. We do not work or live together but realised we have the same issue.

We both could never eat a McDonalds for example in the restaurant, would have to bring home to enjoy. But we can go out to a ‘proper’ sit down restaurant and enjoy a meal. So not that bad.

Just curious if you have come across this issue before?

It's not going to be viewed as 'normal' by many I suspect but as long as you're not a twat about it (eg insulting the food or making comments about people eating it) then it's unlikely anyone's really going to care if you're eating or not.

We can eat at proper restaurants, cafes etc. Basically any place that doesn’t have a drive thru or an option to easily take home without spoiling.

I personally would not enjoy even a packed lunch in the work environment. Did not have this issue at school. But never ate lunch at university.

I missed out the word "difficulties" after the shortening MH. So "MH difficulties". But perhaps it was amply clear what was meant.

Well its odd but we are all different and if its not causing you any problems then no need to change. If IT does cause issues then you need to try and figure out why you do this and how you can address it

Oh of course not. I really don’t pay attention to the eating habits of others. A person eating a well balanced meal from the canteen is certainly not going to be looked down on by me.

When I was a kid, my mum and I sometimes went to her friend's house after school and eat with them. The friend's son, about 7 or 8 at the time, couldn't bear people seeing him eat, so he had to have a screen of cereal packets around his place at the table.

I sometimes wonder if he ever grew out if it.

I'm interested in where you draw the line between public and private, fast food vs restaurant.

How would you class Nando's for example, which is a bit like a fast food joint (order at the counter) and a bit like a restaurant (waiter brings the food)? Nando's has a takeaway option, so by your rules that means you wouldn't eat in?

Also would you be able to eat in public in a non-restaurant group setting eg a party, a wedding, a picnic in the park?

I don't think it's weird, I think we're lucky to live in a country where food is so plentiful and available that we have the luxury to indulge in eccentricities like this. In many countries people only eat in a group setting and barely have enough to go round, so we're very privileged and very fortunate.

the only 'weird' thing is your preference for tkaing MaccyD's home. The fries are ONLY nice if eaten straight out the fryer and they lose heat very quickly, so eating in the restaurant is a must for me!

Seems odd to me, McDonald's tastes better eaten there fresh and hot than taking home!

I agree, I don't enjoy my meal if eating in a loud environment, I'll suck it up if it's cheap or a necessity but Five Guys or similar is actually quite expensive so would get to take out or go at a quieter time. A proper quiet sit down restaurant is fine. I also find the mouth feels of wood/bamboo cutlery ruins the taste / experience too so have camping cutlery with me - there is plenty of research covering that though. The heavier the cutlery you use the more enjoyable the meal is.

DD is autistic and won't eat inside a McDonalds or the school canteen as it's too loud, will happily eat in the car or school field though. DD also loses her appetite quite quickly particularly if she sees someone / child eating messily with it around their face.

So I imagine it links to a sensory processing disorder with too much input ruining the meal. You should be finding ways during the week to correctly fuel your body though.

I used to have food anxiety. I put it down to never eating out as a child, and my parents generation it was normal not to eat out or walk around eating.

Also it was seen as the trend not to eat much as a teen.

As ive got older and realised how weird it is, ive given myself little challenges like having a coffee out and small things to make myself more comfortable about something that should be enjoyable.

i have difficulties with public eating. I am very fussy too- both are due to shame around food as a child. I was always told I should eat what I’m given or it’s ’that or nothing’. I was also quite neglected and underweight (not strictly due to lack of food but high cortisol most likely). This meant my parents felt embarrassed by my size and took great delight in telling everyone how much I ate and how greedy I am etc to price I wasn’t underfed.
This made me super self conscious.
im aware my eating habits aren’t normal but I know why

I kind of get this, but it’s anxiety-based. So most out of the home situations make me anxious and I can’t eat when anxious.

I cant eat in the morning before work. I can’t eat during working hours/at work. I can’t eat at events like weddings.

But I can eat if I feel comfortable - a nice meal with my close family at a restaurant, McDonald’s with DH etc. But we’d both rather get Deliveroo than eat out!

I understand, prefer eating food on a relaxed environment. It's not that I can't eat in the work canteen etc, I just prefer not to.

All my meals are "yummy". Why would I make food for myself that I didn't enjoy the taste of? If someone else makes me food it might not be "yummy" but when I am in control of what I am eating of course it is going to taste good!!

OP if this isn't affecting your life adversely then I wouldn't worry about it, yeh it's a bit odd and I'm not entirely sure I follow the reasoning, but I don't need to cos it's not me reasoning it 😂

I feel like this about puddings and sweet treats; I was starting to think I was odd about it! Although I don’t feel like that with lunch at work as I couldn’t go to work all day and not eat

I can understand as PP said preferring to eat at home in a relaxed way. I don’t understand why you skip breakfast though@Voi surely you would be having that at home before work? I know plenty of people who have a good breakfast and then don’t eat again until the evening when they get home. I would feel so ill if I had to go without food from one evening to the next but maybe I am a greedy bugger😂.

Do you drive to work? Eat in the peace of your own car, take a book or download something on to a tablet and watch a show what ever gets you to fuel your body.

You might both be a healthy weight but eating no breakfast or lunch everyday and drinking loads of coffee means your body is not healthy. You need to both think back as to why you might be like this. It's likely something from your childhood. Do you really eat nothing all day 5 days a week?

Oh so you binge eat then, that's not good having a disordered eating pattern.

Why don’t you eat breakfast?

Do you ever eat at someone else’s house? Do you ever have a picnic?

Will you change your eating habits if you have children?

I don't understand the need to 'enjoy' every morsel of food you eat. Why can't you just eat a banana for sustenance or some popcorn or a few crackers or whatever just because humans need to eat food or it's sociable to have a coffee and scone with your colleagues or to have a piece of birthday cake with Susan from accounts.

That makes me hungry just thinking about it! I can't leave the house without breakfast and I would be absolutely ravenous if I didn't eat during the day at work. I've only heard about people being like that when they have eating disorders or if sometimes if they have been shamed about their weight, but evidently not the case here.

Eh?

I think the opposite of that is true, actually. Evidence suggests that shovelling food in while doing other things is what leads to lack of appetite control, and that taking time to sit and eat properly and mindfully will result in you consuming less.

Well for me I usually have a large dinner so wake up feeling full and energised. Never hungry in the morning. If I were to wake up randomly hungry (rare) I’d have scrambled eggs.