Brother and I can’t eat in public

[Voi]

Slightly exaggerated title but not a million miles off.

So brother and I have similar issues. We both cannot eat in the work canteen or partake in colleagues’ bakes. We have the same rationale. Why would I eat a big lunch (Shepherds pie) or sweet treat if I am not in a relaxed environment? Ie the food is not as yummy as it could be if it were eaten at home. As a result neither of us tend to eat lunch or breakfast during the work week. We do not work or live together but realised we have the same issue.

We both could never eat a McDonalds for example in the restaurant, would have to bring home to enjoy. But we can go out to a ‘proper’ sit down restaurant and enjoy a meal. So not that bad.

Just curious if you have come across this issue before?

Why would I eat a big lunch (Shepherds pie) or sweet treat if I am not in a relaxed environment? Ie the food is not as yummy as it could be if it were eaten at home

I think the mistake you're making is trying to apply logic to this, when there isn't any. You have an odd hang-up where you would rather eat nothing at all than eat in environment you deem less than perfect and in which you think your food would be 'not as yummy'. In your head, you have deemed your own home and certain restaurants 'safe' to eat in, and your workplace and certain other restaurants 'unsafe' to eat in.

What you're describing is no more rational than OCD. In fact, I think it's perfectly possible that it actually is OCD - it's a very OCD thought pattern, really. It reminds me a bit of my friend's ex who had OCD would only remove a suit jacket in certain 'safe' settings, something she only realised when he spent an entire day at a wedding wearing a jacket which a seagull had shat all over immediately after the ceremony, and completely refused to remove it at any point during the reception.

Foods food if I'm hungry I'll eat anywhere.
But the word yummy I hate.

My daughter and I share the same thing as you and your brother. It's stress that stops us from eating. She can't eat in school because it feels too busy, and I couldn't eat at work if the office was busy. But we both have no issues with eating in a nice restaurant or at home. During the holidays & weekends we eat just fine at home.

I am rather the same myself. I will eat lunch out on the very rare occasions I get to go anywhere (am housebound) but this is purely as a way to chat to friends kind enough to take me and not for the food itself. I don't enjoy eating in front of others at all.
I do have a variety of mental health issues plus autism.

I think I understand.

I like to sit and enjoy each meal - I lived in France for a while and really enjoyed the culture there around mealtimes as it mirrored how I like to eat.

However, I am able to eat at my desk or on the go if I need to - it wouldn't be a 'thing' that I'd think about to be honest. I just have a preference for a nice meal at a table!

If you are happy just eating one meal a day and you are not feeling faint or tired at work then does it matter? May people only eat one meal a day and it is a fairly popular habit these days (OMAD). Surely it's only an issue if you are feeling hungry or lethargic or are deliberately/ rudely shunning invitations to share a piece of birthday cake etc?
Most of us (myself included) eat three meals a day plus snacks out of habit whether or not we are hungry.

Me too. I eat apples/nuts and coffee at work and sometimes a pret soup but I'm never hungry at work. I snack a fair bit at home though still pretty fat. I love a takeaway under the blanket on the sofa, would never go to a restaurant in preference to that. I much prefer to eat on my own and actually concentrate on the food rather than having to talk to people.

I so wish people would stop crunching on apples at work.

The word yummy makes me want to question everything op wrote. It’s weird.

What if it’s not well-balanced? Will you look down on them then?

Are you and your brother just a bit snobby about places that aren’t ‘proper’ restaurants?

I have a similar issue, but mine is based on the idea that food won’t be prepared hygienically and that it’ll make me ill. I have undiagnosed stomach and bowel issues so vomit easily and some foods go right through me. I couldn’t eat from the work canteen and although I do eat out, I check the restaurants hygiene level first. I am aware that a large part of it is in my head but occasionally I’ll eat Mc Donald’s or something and feel rotten after. I take small snacks to work or a packed lunch.

As long as you are both ok with the situation for yourselves as is and are healthy, no worries (and no need for counselling or labelling)
Us humans have all manner of idiosyncrasies 😁

Food is much more than fuel, it ties families and societies together through everyday meals and special feasts. That's why there are so many references to food in our speech, like "breaking bread together". And cooked well, it is delicious and life enhancing. Not being able to share in this is a loss.

This.

I do hope you both are not planning on having children.

I used to not be able to eat in public or in front of people I didn’t know but I did grow out of it (to an extent). If I eat in a work canteen type environment I do tend to choose a spot that’s away from people as I can still feel a bit uncomfortable eating publicly. Hunger though usually over rides any hesitancy I have about eating around random people.

I'm exactly the same although I will eat if I need to but really don't like eating out and about unless it's a proper restaurant or I'm on my own. I was shamed by my dad growing up for eating too much/not enough so think that's why

Nothing unique, mainstream behaviour.

Wait till either of you get to the stage of having kids and working (if it happens). At work, you’ll be glad to have five minutes to yourself without a baby climbing all over you, and will cram anything in🤣

Some really unnecessarily mean comments.

Obviously I don’t want to pass on any issues to my future children. You could have got the message across in a far less callous manner.

I'm the same. So I don't tend to eat lunch if I'm in an office. I'll just go without and have a lovely dinner when I get home. Food is for pleasure so why eat it somewhere grim.

I do think it may be an anxiety thing. For me at least.

You don't have issues op some people are just really boring about food. You're right to treat it as special.

Why would I eat a big lunch (Shepherds pie) or sweet treat if I am not in a relaxed environment?

To me this makes absolutely no sense! You eat because you are hungry, or because it's meal time, or because the food is nice. Being in a lovely environment is nice, but it's not a necessary part of eating. It doesn't make the food taste less nice. I wouldn't feel at all 'unrelaxed' eating at work.

Most people in the UK could miss their next meal (to say the least). It's not essential to eat unless you're diabetic or working heavy labour. So it makes perfect sense to save it up.

Haven't read the whole thread so apologies if the subject has taken a different turn but im the same. I find eating to be something to enjoy so I don't eat breakfast as I don't like to be rushed or lunch or any office bakes and cakes. For dinner it's a different story, it's my down time and I would like to enjoy the food I cook or the take out I order and sit down with a nice Netflix series on and enjoy it.