Brother and I can’t eat in public

[Voi]

Slightly exaggerated title but not a million miles off.

So brother and I have similar issues. We both cannot eat in the work canteen or partake in colleagues’ bakes. We have the same rationale. Why would I eat a big lunch (Shepherds pie) or sweet treat if I am not in a relaxed environment? Ie the food is not as yummy as it could be if it were eaten at home. As a result neither of us tend to eat lunch or breakfast during the work week. We do not work or live together but realised we have the same issue.

We both could never eat a McDonalds for example in the restaurant, would have to bring home to enjoy. But we can go out to a ‘proper’ sit down restaurant and enjoy a meal. So not that bad.

Just curious if you have come across this issue before?

I seem to have a similar issue-although a bit milder. It started recently a few months back when I listened to some podcasts on UPF and sugar - realised it was everywhere. Don’t get me wrong, I love food and chocolate but it’s almost like something switched in me which said that if I’m going eat something that isn’t healthy such as a cake or most food you’d buy ready-made, then I really want to appreciate it and enjoy eating it rather than having it while sitting at my desk at work. So now I only eat what I take to work with me which is a salad or something similar. At home and weekends I enjoy savoring the less healthy items when I have them. I have wondered whether this is strange but it has helped me make more conscious decisions about what I’m eating and overall eat less unhealthy food.

If I like the people around me I would eat together with them on a sidewalk in the rain. If I don't like the company I abhore even the finest restaurant. So yes I think YABU but never mind, we all are different, right? 😊

Why can't you just get a sandwich and eat it at your desk? I never ate a hot meal at work, always got a baguette and went back to work.

Why don't you eat breakfast before you go to work? A quick bowl of cereal would take the edge off and not be in public.

It can't be the 'being in public' thing you mention in your OP as you eat out in restaurants. Maybe just a personal quirk....?

But if you manage without and aren't overweight, I shouldn't worry. We're all different. Tbh I'm not keen on breakfast the minute I get up, so when I commuted I used to eat a chocolate caramel biscuit on the train. Can't be recommended, but it worked for me..... 🙂

I've known someone who didn't like eating in front of ppl, eg at a restaurant/ cafe. But she was perfectly ok with eating at her desk.

I think some of these things are genetically programmed/ inherited not learned. Could it stem from a ‘survival’ trait where cave people took their food to eat alone so it wasn’t stolen off them 🤔

me and one brother have a fear of not having enough food in the house ‘just in case’. My sone has also inherited this trait although his upbringing was very different.

my other brother and my daughter have completely different attitudes and eat hand to mouth on whatever comes along!

Definitely sounds like there’s some autism there, can only eat at home or certain restaurants due to food needing to feel yummy sounds like a sensory issue.

Do you not eat at work because you don't feel relaxed & can't enjoy the meal as much as you would if you were at home? I'm like that, however, it doesn't stop me eating at work I just don't enjoy it as much. I have to sit at a table to enjoy eating whereas my colleagues can go & sit on the grass out front when it's a nice day or on a bench in work grounds. I couldn't do that, same as I can't eat as I'm walking like some people I know who will grab something in their lunch break & have a wander round the shops whilst eating.
It sounds like you like to be comfortable & relaxed when you're eating & it's not an issue of eating in front of people as you said you can enjoy a meal in a restaurant. If you feel rushed at work it could put you off eating 'coz you have a time limit & therefore don't enjoy it. I wouldn't worry too much about it tbh, if you're eating normal at home & are a healthy weight & enjoy food then stop thinking too much into it.

I can understand, for me it would depend on the situation. McDonalds in the evening - much prefer bringing it home and watching TV rather than sitting there with Radio 1 playing. Nice restaurant with a nice ambience - I would enjoy sitting there, would never do take out for that sort of food.

I think choosing to not eat in public because you don't enjoy it is very different to what some have suggested, of some sort of eating disorder. A friend with an eating disorder wouldn't let anyone see her eat, not even her husband, but that doesn't sound like what you're talking about.

BTW I'm ADHD and autistic, my neurodiversity probably contributes to me preferring the atmosphere to be right to eat in (if I were to enjoy it rather than to eat because I need to eat).