To be AMAZED at this cms calculation?

[whatnowws]

Recently split from DS’s dad. He won’t communicate or see ds, so after several weeks I contacted cms. They are getting in touch with him but… the claim is for 730 a month?!? He earns almost 80k? How can this be right?

meanwhile, I’m earning 46k and paying 1,700 in nursery costs and all other costs for ds?

how on earth is that supposed to be fair?! This calculation is also assuming he continues not to see ds. If he wants him a night or more then costs reduce further… basically he can do what he wants and I’m expected to pick up the financial pieces no matter what.

If he has any more children you won’t be getting that much in several years time, as they deduct money for every extra child especially those who live with him - bet you’ll make a thread about that too…

@theemmadilemma

its not going to change with comments like yours telling women to think harder etc. No, let’s stop men behaving like utter cunts instead.

Have you noticed how nobody is agreeing with you?

As she bloody well should - CMS shouldn't be cut because dad couldn't keep his willy in his pants. If he can't afford the children he already has, he shoudn't get a discount when he creates a few more - the resident parent certainly doesn't. Are you a second wife? You've got big second wife energy.

I’d expect her to find cheaper childcare. I’m assuming they weren’t shopping around when they picked an almost 2k a month nursery. The ops take home plus her exes contribution gives her an annual salary of over 55k. Plus contrary to her statement, she actually is entitled to benefits, starting with child benefit. She’s just having to cut her cloth and is resenting it.

@NotSayingImBatman

big second wife energy really make me laugh. Thanks 😂

Why are people saying this is fair? Are they just saying op is lucky because she isn’t poor? OP isn’t poor, but it doesn’t change the unfairness of her situation.

Both parents want to work full time for career development, savings and pensions, not just for day to day living expenses, so OP shouldn’t be forced to cut down her hours. If she does, she’d still be doing half of the childcare and paying nursery for the other half of the childcare - ie taking responsibility for all of it.

the father should pay half of the childcare that is needed for a full time employment and half of the child’s living costs, surely.

@Babadook76 happy to cut my cloth if my child’s father cuts his cloth too!

Unfortunately CMS is rarely even close to half of the actual cost of housing, feeding, clothing and fully raising a child.

There’s £120 shortfall between what he pays and half the nursery costs - find a cheaper nursery.

He’s paying £800 a month cm, I don’t spend that on my own 3 children 😂 how’s he not affording it?

And why is it just her job to do that? Again, this man is benefiting from the childcare, it is allowing him to do his job.

well based on the fact he doesnt see DC - I'm going to take a punt on "he walked out on both of them"

You're absolutely right OP, it's totally shit. Costs should be split 50/50 and ideally custody too.

The amount you will get might not seem a lot, but there really is no way to increase it. The amount of men who 'unexpectedly' lose their jobs before a CMS claim is made is crazy!!!

A man who doesn't see his child is hardly a catch. OP is probably glad to be rid.

I would revisit the UC as I’m certain with your income and that nursery cost you will receive a contribution. This will help towards your ‘half’ of the childcare bill.

I was replying to an (idiotic) post about the reduction the CMS grants every deadbeat dad who goes ahead and produces yet more children, whilst not actually meeting 50% of the costs of the ones he's already got. Try to keep up.

The entire issue is these ridiculous nursery costs. She’s paying more in nursery costs than what a lot of people entire salary’s are. She’s refusing to answer questions about those though, and address the actual issue.

it is nothing to do with being male or female. And you need to take on board that you are raising your child with many times more disposable income than most people are, in one or in two parent families

He should pay for nursery so he can work.
Tax on his income is irrelevant.
There are countries in Europe when he would need to pay for his child to meet his standard of living regardless of mother's income.

This is cms, not alimony.

So what? My income is half of what OP's is and I'm a lone parent. Doesn't mean that I expect other women to just put up with less as well.