To be AMAZED at this cms calculation?

[whatnowws]

Recently split from DS’s dad. He won’t communicate or see ds, so after several weeks I contacted cms. They are getting in touch with him but… the claim is for 730 a month?!? He earns almost 80k? How can this be right?

meanwhile, I’m earning 46k and paying 1,700 in nursery costs and all other costs for ds?

how on earth is that supposed to be fair?! This calculation is also assuming he continues not to see ds. If he wants him a night or more then costs reduce further… basically he can do what he wants and I’m expected to pick up the financial pieces no matter what.

I’m shocked at the comments on here. It is irrelevant what the OP earns and how much she is getting. So much for the sisterhood! And we wonder why men get away with it!

Stonking rich on a single salary of £40k with £1.5k a month nursery costs? Give over and stop being so ridiculous.

So you earn 46k, you are going to receive a further 730 per month, presumably at some point state funded nursery will kick in and now a poster thinks you should get Universal Credit. Defies belief.

It is scandalous.

the standard should be 1/2 of nursery bills plus a percentage of income. Child care is the biggest child expense.

Sadly the only way that costs could be split equally is if the child lives with each parent 50/50.

The OP should be grateful for her situation -that her arsehole ex doesn't see his child at all and doesn't even cover half the costs of rearing him? because she is stonking rich on 45k a year. Yeah right. I know who I think is more likely to rear a bitter child.

Love the comments that she should check UC in case she can get help with her nursery costs. Because of course it is more appropriate that the taxpayer contribute than her ex who is on double her salary (but he pays more tax!!! the poor fellow)

No wonder there is no appetite for changing cms. it isn't just men, it is women who support this system whereby the mother is the default responsible parent.

OP, forgive me if it's already been answered, I don't wish to sound goady but it seems like you were expecting galf his income?? I haven't rtft. If this is the case, no you won't get half his income to raise your son and cm is pitiful at best.

You are on a decent amount though.

Staggering that in 2024 some people still think the nursery cost should purely be the Op’s cost because she ‘chooses’ to work.

He will be paying more than you in tax
😂😂 are you high?

FFS the comments on this thread are appalling.
OP is contributing FFS . Way more than her fair share. OP’s thread is about how unfair it is that Dad earns significantly more than her, yet is paying for less than half the nursery fees , let alone for anything else.

Cms don't award 50% to the resident parent due to the fact the NRP still (presumably) has living costs of their own. They don't take whether they do or don't into account, they just go off NRPs income and number of nights per year that the child stops there.

Yuck. And OP said he has had no contact with his child either. But you’re more interested in bashing OP here so who cares about facts. Yuck.

Hi, you seem confused. It's 2024, 46k isn't a high income at all. And especially not with nursery costs.

People are crazy!!

If you are living in a joint income family with high nursery fees and starling costs, then the higher earner leaves, OF COURSE the one less is going to be left struggling.

It doesn’t matter that she has a pretty decent salary, the household income has just reduced by almost 2/3 and we don’t know what mortgage/rent, bills etc she is now paying alone. And nursery bill is huge to come out of that salary.

it’s not a race to the bottom, it’s irrelevant what others posters earn. OP has just had her entire family and financial situation completely upended and is justifiably pissed off about it.

@Babadook76

are you not embarrassed to be signposting to benefits and taking from the state, when actually, a child’s father should be making those payments?

The demographic has certainly changed round here. Sorry OP, I don’t think this is the place for empathetic, logical, reasoned support anymore. It’s great for deadbeat dads though!

@Summerflames

No, I expected him to pay 50% of our child’s costs. So half of nursery and half of all other expenses.

It might not be fair, but it is the correct cms calculation, and its a figure most single parents will not be getting even for several children from their exes.
If he loses that job and gets one that pays the same as your salary he will be paying you around 430 pounds a month and you will still have the same nursery fees.
You should be entitled to UC payments towards the nursery, check that you are getting everything you can.
Sorry for you and ds that he has walked away.

I'm in a similar situation OP (although different amounts - not that it matters)

There is no way round it unfortunately if going through CMS. It's unbelievable.

I think your best hope is to speak to him and hope that he still has some decency left and is willing to discuss nursery bills.
That's what I've done and I can tell you it wasn't easy remaining calm when I was told that he didn't think he should have to pay half. Maybe ask him if he's going to quit his job/reduce his hours as he is the one causing an issue.

Morally he should pay more and do more. Unfortunately, legally he doesn't have to. How old is your child? Are you entitled to any free hours?

https://www.childcarechoices.gov.uk/?utm_source=Search&utm_medium=keyword&utm_campaign=Childcare_Choices_2024&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwyJqzBhBaEiwAWDRJVK36KPhfDxQMtk8LDKAEiH0BKH60kgFitKq-hjcfkT5vTG6rSobotRoCAi4QAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

I agree OP, it’s not a lot of money in the grand scheme of things and I say that as someone who gets £100 a month child maintenance. I’ve had people shoot me down for saying £100 isn’t a lot. I could say I get £10 a month and there would still be a gaggle of women on here saying they get nothing so I should be grateful. It’s madness!

And you’re looking bitter and jealous.

the race to the bottom on these threads is awful: I had nothing so you should have next to nothing and be grateful!

OP it stinks, it’s not fair at all and your ex should be ashamed but sadly for as long as there’s women with such tragically low bar’s suggesting that these scumbags are some sort of modern day hero’s for paying anything at all not much will change

@helpfulperson it was my home not his😂

Only read page 1 but some replies are despicable.

Just because some men fudge the figures and only pay a few pounds a month, op should put up with shouldering most of the financial burden on top of all the emotional and physical burden of raising a child?

Because she's on a decent wage, she should put up with it?

No op, it isn't fair. But some women don't like other women as we all know. Plus they aren't all women replying are they...

How can posters say its right? Implying op has nothing to complain about? It's not even 50% of childcare costs.

I'm shocked at the tone of this thread. No wonder women are fucked over time and time again when the bar isn't even a mm off the floor.