I’ve bumped my husbands new car 🚗

[StaceyAl]

I’m in a panic. My husband bought an expensive new car last week. He was having an afternoon nap so I just borrowed it to collect my son from sports training. I’ve reversed into a low wall in a car park (couldn’t see it in my rear view mirror) and have dented the rear bumper.
He’s working from home tomorrow- is there any chance I can get up early and take it to a garage to get fixed and return it without him knowing?
what should I do, I can’t tell him he’ll be furious and I took it without asking

I did not know that.
We are all named drivers on each others cars due to the third party thing.

Who wouldn't be totally mortified at this happening - those posters saying the OP must have an unhealthy relationship, would they just breeze in, mention in in passing and expect it to be shrugged off? He will be angry, annoyed and she will feel stupid and small and like there was a good reason for him not wanting her to drive his new car, whether or not she'd been careless. That's why OP is dreading telling him, there's nothing unhealthy about that.

But don't try and hide it OP, he'll get over it quickly and so will you.

There’s usually an exception for partner/spouse’s vehicles. They’re not generally covered under permission to drive other vehicles.

Goodness your sound like you actually ARE angry

I phoned my husband to tell him his car had been in an accident. (Somebody backed into me.) Before hearing the details, he said the only important thing was I hadn't been hurt. If I was driving an unfamiliar car though I wouldn't have had the radio on - I'd have been focusing on the driving.

I think my Dh would be very cross.
Take pictures and send for 3 or 4 quotes.

No, I wouldn’t just breeze in and expect it to be brushed off.

But … I certainly wouldn’t be scared to tell my husband about it. And I certainly wouldn’t expect major consequences like the OP suggests she will.

It actually sounds really unhealthy.

Photo needed

It sounds like you're in an abusive relationship OP - many posters have asked and you've not said either way, but the language you use is very telling.

I wouldn't be fessing up to an abusive man tbh - id put the keys back and deny all knowledge, keep yourself safe.

would they just breeze in, mention in in passing and expect it to be shrugged off?

In my case, yes. We've had our bumps and scrapes with cars, the other one just sighs that 'oh well' and we call the insurance/garage. I would be disappointed if I found out DH felt he had to lie to me and sneak behind my back to get it fixed, because he was afraid of my reaction.

But who asks their wife/husband to use their car?! Most people I know including us just use either car - we have one mainly for the kids and one the person who doesn’t have the kids that day normally uses. I think everyone understands how annoying it is to have a brand new car pranged, but I think most people are a little concerned that the reaction of the husband has the OP so worried. Accidents happen, everyone is alive and unhurt.

Well, the bumper did its job!

But you won't get but replaced in a few hours tomorrow. It'll beeevyo be ordered, the car booked it around other work, possibly sprayed to colour match...

Tell your DH. Offer to pay!

I'm a little like the Japanese here. They make clay pots with a bump or something to show it's human. I've had scrapes and if it doesn't affect the safety, I'd just leave it be
Mind you, you will have to see if he agrees...

My concern is your fear of telling your OH. That is just weird.

Seriously OP this is not an hours work.

It’s a car at the end of the day. You have got bigger things to worry about if your DH goes ape over this.

Fair enough to those that quoted me. I’d personally be PISSED but clearly that’s just me and the OP’s husband

@DistinguishedSocialCommentator

whatever an "expensive car to you may not be to others - so what car is, model, colour is it over 100k - "dented2 these days all bumpers are plastic - so a pic may help
Huh? What possible difference does it make what others think. If the car is expensive for the OP and her DH that's all that matters. Why would it matter that someone else thinks it's not all that expensive? It's irrelevant

I would too. Taking a brand new expensive car if got for myself and damaging it would piss me off. Even worse if your SO has their own car and just borrowed yours for novelty.

None of us can tell if he's truly unhinged as OP hasn't clarified, but yes, this is a stressful and irritating scenario.

I’m glad someone else gets where I’m coming from. Of course if he’s an unhinged dickhead and OP has to walk on eggshells all the time then that’s something completely different. In this situation, I can see why OP is worried because it’s a bit of a mess.

Good luck OP, just be honest and take it from there. I think it’ll be much more work to try and get the car fixed first thing in the morning before he notices something’s up

Consequences? WTF!

what kind of consequences are you talking about?

OP just to set your expectations if it’s a new bumper they likely have to spray it to get it to match which takes a lot more than a day
My car was repaired recently it was the bonnet and wing damaged. They took both off, got the dents out, filled and sprayed it and it took 4 days and they apparently were rushing it as I needed the car back. Not sure how true that is I don’t feel like they did but I got it back when I needed it so not complaining.

Incredible!!

To most people an "expensive car" would be at least 80/100k - Ford friestas cost around 3ok and to many that is "expensive"

"Expensive cars" often have special paintwork and trim, sensors, cams, auto boot release of the no touch type etc, therefore cost loads more to repair than your Ford Fiesta - hence my question, right!!

HTH

Whilst I agree that OP shouldn’t be scared of her husband, come on! He bought the car last week, she took it without asking. Ignored the beeping sensors and drove it in to a wall. Any man that says ‘Oh don’t worry darling as long as your ok’ must be a right fucking drip. My husband would be bloody furious, of course he wouldn’t hit me and I wouldn’t be scared but I would take it on the chin, I deserved to be bollocked. If HE took my week old car and hit it I would go berserk.

If I were you, I’d book it in now, find out how much it’ll cost and then tell him. Say ‘You’re gonna go mental, but I’m really sorry, but I’m sorting it and paying for it. I’m sorry’.

Tbh if you're that scared I probably wouldn't say anything. Who looks at their bumpers before getting in the car?

Enough time passes, anything could have caused it.

Me and my DH ask each other to use the other’s car. 🤷‍♀️ Why wouldn’t you?

I’d be annoyed if he just took mine without at least letting me know.