I’ve bumped my husbands new car 🚗

[StaceyAl]

I’m in a panic. My husband bought an expensive new car last week. He was having an afternoon nap so I just borrowed it to collect my son from sports training. I’ve reversed into a low wall in a car park (couldn’t see it in my rear view mirror) and have dented the rear bumper.
He’s working from home tomorrow- is there any chance I can get up early and take it to a garage to get fixed and return it without him knowing?
what should I do, I can’t tell him he’ll be furious and I took it without asking

This

If I couldn’t trust someone with an expensive item I wouldn’t allow them to have access to it in the future. Particularly if they’d shown they were irresponsible in the first place by stealing it.

I always wonder if these threads are just setups to encourage certain types of responses that show women up in a bad light. OP has just kept providing enough vague updates to keep the fire well fuelled here and provoke a load of posters into assuming the worst and encouraging the OP to further engage in poor behaviour. It provides fodder for the misogynists.

Exactly this!!!! I’ve read all her posts and am totally baffled and bemused by some of the comments made about “consequences”

Never really got the 'it's just a car' brigade. Unless it's some £400 banger the chances are the car is the second most expensive thing people own after their house. It has a resale value and the condition of the bodywork of a car influences that value. Fixing panels or replacing bodywork parts is expensive, time consuming ans impacts on your no claims if you go down that route. Being annoyed that said car got damaged, however accidental is normal.

I bumped my husband’s car in a very similar way last year - it still makes me mortified even thinking about it. I phoned him and told him right away to get it over with! He always over reacts then calms down pretty quickly. These things happen all the time - just tell him and say you’ll get it fixed.

Apologies, just read your update. He has every right to be pissed off, most would be at first, but just remember that accidents happen all the time, you are only human! Some people react more than others - my dad is really laid back and rarely over reacts (unlike my husband, but he thankfully calms down quickly and is never violent or anything). My husband’s car had a camera and sensors and I still hit a bloody wall as well (no idea what went wrong). The money to fix it came out of the joint account though. I’m sure he has made plenty of mistakes in the past too (or will in the future) - that’s just life.

Perfectly put. 👏👏👏

Yes, but a lot of people do. And it sounds like the OP's husband does, so he has every right to be pissed off.

You have much bigger problems than the car OP - you were “physically shaking” in fear when you discovered what you had done. You thought “others would receive major consequences” for this and your DH is “very angry”.

None of this is normal.

So you’d be happy if your DP was shaking in fear of your anger would you? Your car is that important?

What on earth is wrong with you?

Why are you scared to tell him? You say that he will “be furious” and I understand that sometimes that’s just “an uncomfortable conversation” but if you really are scared too his “fury”, then I think you have issues.
I am divorced now, but when I was married there were conversations that I’d have preferred not to have, but I was never scared that my husband would “be furious” with me, that’s not a healthy way to live.
Other than that, I’d be lead by whether he was likely to think that someone had hit his car while he was out and about 🤷‍♀️ or whether he would notice it the moment he walked out of the door - in which case, you’re going to have to bite the bullet and just tell him. I hope you’re insured fully comp, or have some savings you can use to cover the cost of the repair.

OP I hadn’t read the whole thread before my last comment. And frankly I find your last comment rather concerning. I expect your DH to be “annoyed” and “pissed off”, but not “extremely angry with you”.

@StaceyAl, if its any consolation to you, I did something very similar to my partners car - although had full use of it while working out of the country. I reversed it into a low wall.

The news didn't go down well. I survived - no one got hurt, just pride.

Do you think he’ll be violent?
He won’t be happy, who would, but it was an accident.

I'm more concerned about how worried you are about DH finding out you bumped the car I can’t ever imagine being worried about my DHs reaction accidents happen it’s only a bump on the bumper

If people claim here that it's totally normal to shake and panic and 'be furious' over a dented bumper, or 'go ballistic' over spilled juice, I really wonder how they manage if something actually serious happens. Unless your definition of those expressions is totally different from mine.

Ironically, I just dented the car yesterday. True, our cars and finanes are joint, so I didn't take his without permission, but still. Went home, told DH, he checked and asked if I would like him to call the garage. I said I was planning to do it myself, but sure, much appreciated. At no time was I shaking because I was terrified of his furious reacion and consequences. Yes it's annoying and will cost money, but how does going ballistic help?

No, I wouldn't, I'd be far from happy. In fact, I'd be furious in exactly the same way my DW would be if I took her car without her knowing, not that I would.

This is abuse. You aren’t allowed to drive the car again and have had to pay out of your account to teach you a lesson? He does not have any right to be angry with you.
My husband smashed the front of our car up because he was reversing and swung into a pillar and I laughed about it. It’s an ongoing joke now that he is looking forward to me making a driving mistake / crashing / being caught speeding.
He never faced any consequences, was told off or had to fix it out of his money. That’s because we don’t have an abusive relationship.
You aren’t a child with a narcissistic parent. PLEASE consider what everybody is saying to you and realise there is a life out there where you don’t have to live in fear. I promise ❤️

Being annoyed is one thing, it's the 'furious' brigade I don't get

How does Danny get fanny, being so furious all the time

You had permission to use the car. Accidents are expected.

You do not take someone else's car and damage. That is not comparable. But ok, Ghandi, you do you

I don't get furious all the time. Where have I said I do? I seldom lose my temper, as it happens. More to the point, why do you keep misconstruing what posters say? It's weird behaviour to say the least.

Are you frightened of him?

Claim on the insurance that’s what it’s there for, it will be done properly, it never looks the same when you get things done privately