I’ve bumped my husbands new car 🚗

[StaceyAl]

I’m in a panic. My husband bought an expensive new car last week. He was having an afternoon nap so I just borrowed it to collect my son from sports training. I’ve reversed into a low wall in a car park (couldn’t see it in my rear view mirror) and have dented the rear bumper.
He’s working from home tomorrow- is there any chance I can get up early and take it to a garage to get fixed and return it without him knowing?
what should I do, I can’t tell him he’ll be furious and I took it without asking

ii am glad you confessed
horrible tangled web of deceit you started to think about.

What has her dh done that makes him an asshole?

He's responded reasonably.

Better all around if you come clean and tell him, this is a resolvable problem

@StaceyAl

I'm a bit confused. Why do you have to ask permission to drive this car? You're married, it's your car too.

DH and I have a huge pickup and a compact car. Even though DH refers to the truck as 'his truck' as he drives it the majority of the time and calls the car 'my car' as I drive it most of the time, neither of us has to ask permission to drive either vehicle. They're family vehicles, belonging to both of us.

You aren't a child. He has no right to chastise you like you were a naughty child for driving 'his' car. You drove a family car, you dinged it on a wall. Shit happens.

He sounds like a misogynistic bully.

Your DH is an abusive cunt

Don't be ridiculous.

Why are people giving all of these examples which are literally not the same?

’One time I got into an accident when driving my husband’s car, he was more worried about me then the damage to the car OP. This isn’t a healthy relationship’ as if that’s remotely the same thing

If he bought it for himself, it's his car. It's not misogyny, in fact it's controlling to just claim other people's stuff. Nobody would say this to OP if her DH said her car is his, and he can use whenever he wants.

So if two people have seperate accounts, is it okay for the wife to withdraw £800 from the husband’s account because it’s apparently ‘family money?’ You need to understand that every relationship is different. Just because you and YOUR husband drive each other’s cars, that doesn’t mean it’s the same set up in every marriage.

OP isn’t a child. Yet she took her husband’s new car because it was fancy and left hers behind without him knowing. She then had the music on so loudly that she couldn’t hear the sensors and considered lying about it to her husband, that’s irresponsible and also very childish. You’ve decided that the OP’s husband’s new car is a family car on what basis? When the OP has her own car?

People should really stop reading threads and responding as if it’s them in the situation. You don’t know these people and how their marriage is set up. I wish the OP made the post as if it was a reverse, I’d love to read the comments😅

Thank you

Your husband sounds OTT here. It’s just a car, no one died. Yeah you were careless but it’s only a bump that can be fixed. You shouldn’t be scared to tell him and him saying you’re not allowed to drive it again, smacks of a parent punishing a child. Surely you’re meant to be equals?! He sounds abusive to be honest.

Fucking hell. Are you always so overly dramatic?

To you it's only a car - fine. To him it isn't.

"You're married, it's your car too." - that's bollocks.

"He sounds like a misogynistic bully." and so is that.

If everything is shared then presumably hubby can lend OPs clothes etc to his sister and other female friends because they're equally his? She'd have no basis to complain if she went to put on her new heels and found they'd been loaned out for the weekend without her knowledge?

Hello OPs husband.

So it’s not just a car, it’s his precious baby and no one can dare touch it without asking. The OP made a mistake thats easily fixable, it’s not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. What is a big deal is the fact that she was so scared of him finding out she was trying to figure out how to get it fixed without him knowing rather than just fess up and apologise. The reason she was so scared was because of his reaction which sounds way OTT and abusive to me. No one should be that scared of their spouse. In normal marriages people can tell each other when they’ve ballsed up and not be terrified to do so.

"Hi honey, I'm afraid I slept with Kate from work after the Xmas party"

Husband should have no reason to be 💩ing it, right?

Thats is what bumpers are for - to protect the car. Yes, it will cost money but it is not the end of the world.

None of which addresses the fact that she was not paying sufficient attention and would not have seen or heard a child behind the car.

Dont be silly…

the car is not the issue. It is a hunk of metal that can be fixed. The issue is your fear, you need to address this. WHY are you afraid of your husband? A man that is supposed to love you? We now share one tiny car as we are retired on an island..but before (just 2 years ago) lived in Canada and had 2 expensive cars. I drove my jeep grande cherokee mostly..he drove his dodge challenger hellcat. I took his out once in a while (not often) but if I had of dinged it..I would have owned up and not been afraid..cause you know.. He loves me and that is what we pay insurance for! Car is not the issue. Fear is. Time to address this OP

And women wonder why we get called hysterical. She fucked up and took his new car and damaged it and everyone is saying that they could breezily mention to their own husbands that they did the same and just get "what are you like you little tinker" or "well as long as you are safe it doesn't matter that we now have to find hundreds of pounds out of our joint money to pay for it" or the one poster that said she got an eye roll and a sigh after doing that to a couple of her husbands cars lol. Somehow this has turned into an abusive marriage and everyone finds it "chilling" or "concerning" it's a fucking joke on here sometimes honestly

Come again now? So if the wife tells the husband without panicking about 'consequences' that she had a small accident, that makes her (and all women) hysterical? How does that work?

@StaceyAl If you are not allowed to drive the car and have to pay for the damages from "your account", I certainly hope you have the backbone/grit/confidence to tell your NVDH that he can use HIS personal account to pay for maintenance, all other repair, petrol, MOT, taxes, licenses and insurance. After all, it is HIS, so only he should pay for it. It is not a jointly owned item, so should only be paid for by the owner, no matter what he uses it for.

He also sounds like a total azzhat. Even though you should not have had the music up loud and concentrated better, it's either a joint asset paid for jointly, or his asset, paid for just by himself.

I could never deal with having a DP this materialistic, selfish and nasty. Gives me the "ick" just thinking about being intimate with someone like that.🤑

You can’t see that the material difference between your and the OP’s situation is that your husband knew you were driving it whereas the OP just took it without asking, and reversed it straight into the next wall and then tried to hide it?

Yeah cos that’s the same as this situation. Don’t be so ridiculous 🙄