MN really IS full of jealous, angry people

[durundundun]

AIBU to think MN is full of people spitting tacks that some people have a lot of money. More money than them.

I'm currently reading threads bashing those than own Range Rovers calling the owners stupid, wankers and the like.
Several threads on private school VAT where the resentment is palpable and people are positively gleeful that the private school dc might suffer and end up in sone terrible school miles away from their homes.
Threads on women who do not work and have husbands who earn a lot. Apparently these women are not rich. Their husbands are and the women live 'off their dh money', are prostitutes, their rich husbands are definitely having affairs and the woman are definitely miserable but pretend to be happy and not contributing in any way to the marriage. The same accusers then have to do a completely illogical about face and say they don't think women who earn £2k a year whilst their dh earn over 100k are living off 'his money' because she is 'still contributing' because otherwise they are agreeing that the one who earns more is the boss. And they don't really believe that. That obviously just resent and have rage about rich women who have the choice Whether to work.
Threads on people seeking private diagnoses claiming the highly qualified and regulated consultants are on the make and unethically diagnosing anyone who pays. ^
Threads on how helping adult dc with their first hike purchase makes the dc spoilt, entitled and will definitely fail in life due to always needing help.^

It's just relentless. The people attacking anyone with money are just so illogical and contradictory that it is obvious they just can't stand rich people.

They are convinced anyone with money has gotten it through ill gotten gains, tax evasion, immoral means and when all else fails pulls out the 'new money' trope. ^

Bizarrely they seem to worship people who inherited money through no hard work, sacrifice or intelligence. They love referring to them as old money in the conversations putting down those who made a lot of money themselves.^

They sniffly state they wouldn't want^ a Range Rover if it was given to them/private education for their dc/access to private healthcare/the ability to choose whether to work or not.... basically anything money can buy that they don't already have is beneath their superior moral code. Because by the end of any debate they have to resort to trying to denigrate the rich person's morality^ as all their other attacks are shown to be illogical or weird.

In all honesty most people I know would be on their knees thanking all their Gods if they had no financial worries, no health care waitlists for their sick relatives and the sorts of small class sizes and facilities private schools offer to their kids.
It's kind of cringey reading it.

Sorry but that is ridiculous and comes across like you have a fairly sheltered life if you really think ‘plenty of people’ are wondering around bitter about not owning a Range Rover- really? Do you really think this is true? Where I live you wouldn’t dare have one as it would almost be social death!

People often have 'done well ' at the expense of poor people

ok but the school people were not talking about that to me. Those were ex friends of us. At that school they were competitive with the kids. The squats, etc… jealous of more able kids. We are very happy where we are now. Private still but nicer people.

Oh yes, definitely!

Yes, it's tedious. I left the Range Rover thread in the end because the sheer level of bile and hatred was actually quite worrying.

It's a car, for goodness sake, not your entire essence and reason for being. Who cares if people hate your car, you don't need other people's approval so move on!

Oh sorry misread your post.

I absolutely agree, OP. A huge amount of jealousy and bitterness. It's blatant and honestly embarrassingly ugly.

Private school threads (or grammar school threads) or anything pertaining to salary bring it out. Some threads about childcare of SAHMs as well.

I personally couldn't care less what randoms think about me and my choices and what I have achieved and earned for my family. But it is ugly.

And then come back to the threads to see the shit show all over again 😒 🙄

Do you honestly think everyone is jealous and bitter or that nobody has a high salary unless they are boasting about it?

Nooo... not everybody but alot of ppl. I see this too. If a woman is posting about wanting her hubby to do something she will get a mix of ltb or abuse for expecting him to turn up to a school play or what ever it is the person is complaining about it. I can only think these ppl have such bad relationships themselves they want everyone else to have the same. There's also one user who shall remain nameless that regularly tells every woman to leave their marriage!! Hubby didn't put the milk away... LTB!

who genuinely have ethical or moral reasons for not ever wanting to drive a RR. But there are also plenty of people who are simply bitter that others easily have the money to drive one.

how do you know who are the bitter ones & the ones who just don’t like the design?

Private school threads (or grammar school threads) or anything pertaining to salary bring it out. Some threads about childcare of SAHMs as well

And yet every thread I’ve seen about PE & VAT has had posters complaining re the unfairness of grammars or the parents paying ££££ for houses within catchments of excellent state schools and the fact that only the rich will be able to afford PE. Does that make them jealous and bitter?

Absolutely agree.
I am VERY selective of the forum categories I post on. In the early days, I was crucified, when I was simply asking for advice.

I don’t think life is as blac and white as this though so on this thread posters are suggesting in the one corner is the self-made, hardworking, Range Rover owning millionaires (or are we discussing less than this?), in the other, posters who lack drive and don’t breath, eat and dream about money and are bitter because they can’t afford a Range Rover and they seemingly have perfect Peter husband’s that treat women equally but let’s face it lack drive and more importantly have limited money. I don’t think life as simplistic as this.

This. People at the top of businesses "do well" because they are propped up by lots of poorly paid and poorly treated people.

Wealth doesn't impress me because it is often inherited /won/ gained at the expense of someone else's wellbeing

Skills, contribution to society etc impress me.

I think much of it comes from a total lack of awareness on behalf of those on higher incomes, and the way that poorer people are discussed here.

People who are complaining about their mortgage having jumped are told they have overstretched themselves. People are told to move out of the town they live and somewhere much cheaper. People are told to change their lifestyle to make huge adjustments and replies often make them out to be feckless spendthrifts who could afford decent things if only they made the correct decisions.

But then the well to do don't like the same advice, or being criticised for not preparing for when circumstances change.

They like to tell the rest of us that we are reliant on them for their taxes to pay for our benefits ( not that I actually claim any). They want to get benefits when it suits (like free nursery hours) but don't want to pay any taxes for it.

Then they threated to leave, like them going will be a great disaster.

So then when they come for sympathy they get nothing.

Fair game I reckon.

Yeah it does a bit tbh.

The attitude is very much about tearing people down, not building up. You don't see threads saying 'Private schools are so fantastic. Class sizes of 15! I want that for my kids. How can we campaign for that?' or 'I love how confident my privately educated sister's kids are. What can I do to help my state educated kids get that kind of confidence?' etc. Or 'My neighbour is a new arrival from Ukraine and her daughter is really bright but they don't speak much English yet. How can I help her access our local grammar school?' It's never positive. However you'll see plenty of posts about how 'arrogant' privately educated kids are, how your sister's kids went private and they didn't get any better A levels than your kids and now one works part time as a receptionist anyway etc. How kids that go to grammars aren't very bright anyway they're tutored and all have wealthy parents. It's tiresome.

I agree with this. It is not about wealth.

YABU OP

I'm not excusing anything apart from your attitude.

I think most women don't judge either way. Work, don't work. It's not something that affects other people. It's not the reasonable people that are making the horrible comments though is it. That's the point. There are just so many horrible resentful people in MN. You might not be one of them.

@CassandraWebb

Wealth doesn't impress me because it is often inherited /won/ gained at the expense of someone else's wellbeing

Skills, contribution to society etc impress me.

No one is suggesting anyone should be impressed by wealth. Which is why I find it so weird when people use the whole sniffy 'ew new money is tacky unlike old money^^ which is ....list of fabulous character attributes' put down.

Self made wealth and skills are often present together though. They aren't mutually exclusive. It's not as though there is some virtue that exists in low paid jobs that doesn't exist in high paid jobs. In fact that is exactly^^ the money hating rhetoric being discussed.

The Cambridge educated academic couple who created (not being techy here so can't go into too much detail as I don't really understand what it is) some sort of software/tech thing that improves some health diagnostic thing that is going to detect cancer far earlier and sold it for a couple of hundred million did not do it on the back of poor people.

In fact a lot of tech entrepreneurs became wealthy without stomping on the poor.

Marcus Persson who the video game programmer and developer who started creating games at a teen and created Minecraft didn't become rich off the back of anyone.

Musicians, authors and the like who have been very successful aren't terrible people. Has JK Rowling (don't get until a trans debate here. That isn't what made her billions) done people over to get where she is? You would be better off arguing the enormous economic success of her work has created hundreds of thousands of jibs and inspired millions of children.

The rhetoric that people who made money did it at the expense of others just makes no sense. Some did. Some didn't. Just like everything else in life.

@GoogleWhacking

I'm not excusing anything apart from your attitude.
This is exactly the sort of put down I mean. It's meaningless. It's just an attempt at a mic drop but it fails because it's doesn't actually mean anything.

It's an attempt at appearing morally superior without any justification or explanation. THIS is the sort of mean girl behaviour this thread is about 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

I think a lot of people do judge others behaviour and approach to life to some extent. I certainly have experienced enough comments in real life about working full time and having kids Nursery long hours that have an element of judgement. I think it often comes down to the fact you try and figure out what’s best to do when you have children and you likely end up with a significant downside to whatever choices you make (SAHP -> significantly less money available/reliance on a partner, Working mum -> significantly less time with your kids, pressure juggling roles). If you’ve had to reconcile yourself to a particular position then it’s easy to entrench yourself into thinking it’s the right way to do things and to be judgemental of others doing something different. If you are not 100% happy with your approach and it’s a bit of a compromise you likely will feel very defensive if you perceive someone is criticising you.
I get what you are saying generally though I don’t think it’s necessarily jealousy. Some of the same posters who are awful on threads about people with money can be equally awful on ones about people on benefits or struggling on low incomes. I think some people just like an argument and a chance to take some frustration out on someone. People are so weird in what they get riled up about.

I agree that whatever you do ( especially around working with children) someone will put the boot in either subtly or with force.
I think it's a case of ' you can never win' with that one.