MN really IS full of jealous, angry people

[durundundun]

AIBU to think MN is full of people spitting tacks that some people have a lot of money. More money than them.

I'm currently reading threads bashing those than own Range Rovers calling the owners stupid, wankers and the like.
Several threads on private school VAT where the resentment is palpable and people are positively gleeful that the private school dc might suffer and end up in sone terrible school miles away from their homes.
Threads on women who do not work and have husbands who earn a lot. Apparently these women are not rich. Their husbands are and the women live 'off their dh money', are prostitutes, their rich husbands are definitely having affairs and the woman are definitely miserable but pretend to be happy and not contributing in any way to the marriage. The same accusers then have to do a completely illogical about face and say they don't think women who earn £2k a year whilst their dh earn over 100k are living off 'his money' because she is 'still contributing' because otherwise they are agreeing that the one who earns more is the boss. And they don't really believe that. That obviously just resent and have rage about rich women who have the choice Whether to work.
Threads on people seeking private diagnoses claiming the highly qualified and regulated consultants are on the make and unethically diagnosing anyone who pays. ^
Threads on how helping adult dc with their first hike purchase makes the dc spoilt, entitled and will definitely fail in life due to always needing help.^

It's just relentless. The people attacking anyone with money are just so illogical and contradictory that it is obvious they just can't stand rich people.

They are convinced anyone with money has gotten it through ill gotten gains, tax evasion, immoral means and when all else fails pulls out the 'new money' trope. ^

Bizarrely they seem to worship people who inherited money through no hard work, sacrifice or intelligence. They love referring to them as old money in the conversations putting down those who made a lot of money themselves.^

They sniffly state they wouldn't want^ a Range Rover if it was given to them/private education for their dc/access to private healthcare/the ability to choose whether to work or not.... basically anything money can buy that they don't already have is beneath their superior moral code. Because by the end of any debate they have to resort to trying to denigrate the rich person's morality^ as all their other attacks are shown to be illogical or weird.

In all honesty most people I know would be on their knees thanking all their Gods if they had no financial worries, no health care waitlists for their sick relatives and the sorts of small class sizes and facilities private schools offer to their kids.
It's kind of cringey reading it.

Spot on!

This.

Many people who are struggling work damn hard for shit money.

Or have fallen on hard times through no fault of their own.

It's pretty rational and human to feel rage when there is huge disparity

Yes, I am so grateful my amazing specialist nurse didn't go chasing money.

Or the brilliant teacher who teaches my son science right now

Or the environmentalists and medical researchers

I have never seen anyone say that awful thing about SAHMs on MN, and I've read a lot of those threads. I've also not seen anyone express pleasure at children's suffering. So, if you have, I imagine you were very unlucky. You said MN was 'full' of jealous people and I don't think those two extreme examples show that. Or even that those individuals were jealous. More likely you've happened upon a couple of trolls.

Totally agree. They are probably walking around wearing hair shirts as we speak 🤣🤣🤣

I could afford a Range Rover and private schooling but choose not to do either as they are opposed to my personal values. If it makes you feel better to assume I am 'jealous' of people who do rather than accept some prople have different values that's your problem

@5128gap

I can't find the comment on leg spreading but it was there. Meanwhile there is this lot....

....All those hair and nail appointments are for their husband’s benefit. There’ll always be a younger/prettier/more grateful option waiting in the wings. They can do exactly what they want as long as they put up with any old shit from their DH.....

....Lots of wealthy sahms in my area and I do wonder what shit they have to put up with in their marriages to maintain their well kept lifestyles....

....I’m sure many highly paid escorts feel ‘blessed’ too....

....I know a woman whose husband put all his assets in his wife’s name. He was a people trafficker! He was a millionaire though with staff so that’s alright then. Dodgy, dodgy....

....But you don’t actually DO anything to contribute do you?...

....And mistresses? 🤔
Won't most of these women still have to lie back and think of Capri Inbetween times?...

....some posters asks why work when your dh can finance everything and a life of leisure. A sense of fairness and self-respect perhaps. Don't forget the lovely female interns and junior associates that work there too....

Just horrible snarky comments insisting that SAHM are miserable, clinging on to dh who will 100% be cheating, have no self respect, are no different from escorts, have dh who must be doing something dodgy to afford them to not work.

This is not the language of people expressing different values. This is just bitter people being nasty and saying ridiculous things.

Mumsnet has trolls (in the old-fashioned sense of that word). It's infiltrated by perverts. It has MRAs. It has some posters who like to hit out at others. It also has wonderful, generous spirited women who are willing to share the most terrible personal experiences if they think this will help others. It offers support networks. It will stand by women making harrowing decisions or facing frightening medical circumstances until they've come through the worst. It has nurtured and helped women facing up to the fact that they are living with dangerous abusers. It has doubtless saved lives.

Challenging the negatives is best done where and when this happens, rather than constantly creating threads berating others and telling them how dreadful they are. Do you think this in some way is going to improve the ambience of the site?

If so, you'll be disappointed. The reverse is more likely to be true. And the tone of your post augurs strongly toward the kind of attitude which ensures you continue to be disappointed.

People rarely stop to consider that people very often mirror our own negativity right back at us. If what you see here is consistently bad rather than good, then this might say something more about you than about members of this online community in general.

I think, as is often with these things, how you read them in your head means you get a different take on the same post. OP obviously reads with an angry head on.

Most of the threads are over exaggerated.
I don't believe half of whats said.
And 8 of every 10 threads start with SEN or somewhere in the post.
It's like it's used as an excuse.

I am in total agreement with the OP, there are some very nasty, horrible people on mumsnet and it’s because they are anonymous here and can change their username anytime.

especially when people feel like they HAVE to comment and have nothing good to say!

With the private school threads - there definitely are a lot of jealous people out there. I don’t send my kids to private but do not wish for other people’s kids to suffer yet so many mean hearted horrible people are happy for the downfall of other children. What has this society become?? - we can all coexist together as one not “us vs them” mentality. Objectively, the money Labour is trying to raise is NOT going to help the state system much as there is practically no benefit since people are quitting private. Better off for them to source the funds elsewhere to improve education as a whole. The whole mentality is wrong 😑

It's sweet of you to stick up for them. I doubt they'd return the favour

Absolutely this.
I don't dislike Chelsea tractors because I want one (I really don't!). I hate them because many people seem to become selfish idiots when they drive one.

Parking on yellow lines/across 2 spaces in car parks/ in child and family spaces without a child/ so close to my car that I can't get into my car/driving on my bumper when I am driving at the correct speed. And crashing into my (parked) car and writing it off, landing me with a huge bill for another car

Same.

They take up two spaces in the car park, can't fit down all the narrow country lanes, park on pavements etc.

It's a hugely unnecessary size car.

We could comfortably afford one. But why would I buy one when my little car means I can fit in any space going!

The Chelsea tractor drivers seem to lose about an hour a day because they have to show up to school half an hour early to find the suitable parking space(s)

I'd just step away from those threads. Have you not noticed how people can start an argument in an empty room on here? You've only noticed the ones attacking Range Rover drivers but people get het up about all sorts - even seemingly innocuous stuff can result in name calling. It never used to be like this - no one has a filter any more.

Yes, maybe it’s a socioeconomic divide? Someone else said (on another feed), that Mumsnet is quite London heavy. If so it’s possible issues are being raised, that don’t affect many others on the thread, this leads to an obvious difference of opinion. What has been quite worrying, is the level of vitriol displayed towards genuinely concerned private school parents. It’s a forum so this should be for intelligent discussion and debate, not petty name calling. Ultimately those who have sought to mislead others (or simply don’t understand) do not have the right to steamroller anyone who has a differing opinion, data or information to bring to the conversation. Personally I would not take any joy in seeing children displaced up and down the country, this would seem entirely counterproductive to the end goal, which is to educate.

My husband is self employed and makes a lot of money, I am a stay at home mother and contribute sweet fuck all financially, i look after our two beautiful children, i spend my days shopping and we always dine out in the evenings, i do my fair share of housework and we don't have a cleaner, we do have a gorgeous home in the countryside, an apartment in Edinburgh and several holiday homes, both children and myself and kept in the best of clothing and shoes and I do not want for anything. My DH is the love of my life and my childhood sweetheart, I don't think he's cheating on me and ever will and he is a fantastic father.

BUT.... our child is type 1 diabetic, both my husband and myself have health problems, I only have one parent, my husband has none.

I don't have anything help with childcare and I'm some days very very lonely and overwhelmed. Money has nothing to do with anything.

We are all equal human beings and should treat others as we would like to be treated.

In my experience people very often are like this in real life. My children”s prep school was a vipers nest. Ex friends jealous of what we had, our lifestyle to the point of being intrusive and calculating out net worth and assets to compare and contrast. I was shocked to the core and decided to put them out of their misery by cutting them out of my life.

We are in a cost of living crisis so those on the breadline already are having a hard time sympathising with those higher earners moaning about having to cut back. It has become a bit of a thing lately. I've noticed too. There will always be little cliques here. I'm not in the higher earner category but believe it's all relative and can see actually a lot of things going on with cost of living, government issues and worldwide in general are effecting all classes for probably the first time in a long time.

AIBU to think MN is full of people spitting tacks that some people have a lot of money. More money than them.

AIBU to think that a lot of mumsnetters who aren't short of a bob or two are tone deaf when they boast about how much money they have?

For the record, we aren't wealthy but are comfortable.

@GoogleWhacking

CaptainOliviaBenson
Er yeah, YABU. I've read the threads you're talking about and my take was vastly different than yours!

I think, as is often with these things, how you read them in your head means you get a different take on the same post. OP obviously reads with an angry head on.
Angry? No. Saddened? Yes. I don't know how anyone can take anything but a poor view of posts and those who post them when they infer SAHM are no different from escorts and that they have to earn their keep by spreading their legs.
Excusing this sort of thing doesn't make you look great I'm afraid.

I have a sort of ballerina-hippo car (chunky and pink) in my mind now and am certainly smiling :)

@CassandraWebb

It's sweet of you to stick up for them. I doubt they'd return the favour

I have no love for random billionaires. I also have to bitter resentment of them. I'm certainly not going to promote some weird rhetoric that all of them are evil and are part of some paedophile ring.

I have a decent life. Some have more. Some have less. I am grateful for what we have. I'd love more, most people would. But I'm not blaming random people on MN for anything lacking in my life.

If I was combative I would have waded in.