MN really IS full of jealous, angry people

[durundundun]

AIBU to think MN is full of people spitting tacks that some people have a lot of money. More money than them.

I'm currently reading threads bashing those than own Range Rovers calling the owners stupid, wankers and the like.
Several threads on private school VAT where the resentment is palpable and people are positively gleeful that the private school dc might suffer and end up in sone terrible school miles away from their homes.
Threads on women who do not work and have husbands who earn a lot. Apparently these women are not rich. Their husbands are and the women live 'off their dh money', are prostitutes, their rich husbands are definitely having affairs and the woman are definitely miserable but pretend to be happy and not contributing in any way to the marriage. The same accusers then have to do a completely illogical about face and say they don't think women who earn £2k a year whilst their dh earn over 100k are living off 'his money' because she is 'still contributing' because otherwise they are agreeing that the one who earns more is the boss. And they don't really believe that. That obviously just resent and have rage about rich women who have the choice Whether to work.
Threads on people seeking private diagnoses claiming the highly qualified and regulated consultants are on the make and unethically diagnosing anyone who pays. ^
Threads on how helping adult dc with their first hike purchase makes the dc spoilt, entitled and will definitely fail in life due to always needing help.^

It's just relentless. The people attacking anyone with money are just so illogical and contradictory that it is obvious they just can't stand rich people.

They are convinced anyone with money has gotten it through ill gotten gains, tax evasion, immoral means and when all else fails pulls out the 'new money' trope. ^

Bizarrely they seem to worship people who inherited money through no hard work, sacrifice or intelligence. They love referring to them as old money in the conversations putting down those who made a lot of money themselves.^

They sniffly state they wouldn't want^ a Range Rover if it was given to them/private education for their dc/access to private healthcare/the ability to choose whether to work or not.... basically anything money can buy that they don't already have is beneath their superior moral code. Because by the end of any debate they have to resort to trying to denigrate the rich person's morality^ as all their other attacks are shown to be illogical or weird.

In all honesty most people I know would be on their knees thanking all their Gods if they had no financial worries, no health care waitlists for their sick relatives and the sorts of small class sizes and facilities private schools offer to their kids.
It's kind of cringey reading it.

You should send your DC to state school then as that problem would be solved in an instant!

The posters on MN aren't representative of anyone I know in real life. Someone used the phrase 'crabs in a bucket' to describe their mentality and that's very true.

I certainly would say no to a Range Rover. Too big, completely impractical in a small village, dangerous to vulnerable road users and dreadful for the planet.

It feels like I’m on a different forum from you, OP. I don’t share your impression at all. There are some angry comments but there are a lot of thoughtful and supportive ones as well. Sometimes people are getting emotional, sometimes there are misunderstandings but generally as in real life all have good and bad sides, and all do stupid mistakes sometimes and no one 100% perfect.

CaptainOliviaBenson
Er yeah, YABU. I've read the threads you're talking about and my take was vastly different than yours!
As above- especially where you mentioned about people suggesting you could pay for a diagnosis- I took it that people meant that people had to go through so many private routes (paying each time), that by the time they got to the diagnosis it was a certainty as they’d been through each of the hoops and passed through each time.

Weirdly op, I think in the last few weeks mn is improving, post Covid people cursed and slammed down everyone and anyone and threads were mostly answered at the start by sneering people (eg one lady saying that boiling water was amazing for cleaning, kind of an aibu for thinking it’s the best thing ever), and the first five or six replies were HORRIBLE.

How? Do you even know why we choose private school?

Yes but I've kind of dipped in and out of mumsnet for years and it's like this about a lot of things not just money

Is it possible that certain threads are attracting people,who are angry about inequalities in income/standards of living, etc, @durundundun? So it will look as if MN is full of people who are angry about this - but if you went and looked at different threads, you would find a very different MN.

When I look at MN I see humour, massive amounts of support and advice for all sorts of circumstances (education, disability, special needs, ante natal and post natal health, mental health - to name but a few), the amazing work done by the Woolly Hugs charity project - I have lost count of the number of blankets MNers have made and given to bereaved MNers, children in hospital, women suffering cancer, refugees, children from Chernobyl, and lots of information about hobbies, sports and other interests.

When I find something I don’t like on MN, I find that it is vastly outweighed by all the other wonderful stuff.

As in, no one at state school talks about Assets as in a majority of cases they won’t own ‘Assets’ plural or any at all!

I am grateful too. It doesn't mean other choices are less valid.

We need the money-chasers too.

Same. I don't even think they're all that expensive - we could have got a late year second hand one for the same price as our little Honda Jazz but had no desire for one. They seem to be for people who want to show off and I've noticed they tend to be the worst drivers also. I'd be embarrassed to be seen in one tbh.

So that's my negative comment but it doesn't mean I'm jealous! Is that the kind of comment you're referring too?

Incredible

for a momment I thought I'd written the OP but used a spell and grammar checker

Congrats OP, you've hit the nail firmly on its round head

Yes but sadly Britain has become very materialistic and the pursuit of money is the end goal, It is to the detriment of things that used to be at the heart of British culture like an appreciation of the Arts - music and fashion used to be one of our biggest exports for example!

Yes, it's tedious. I left the Range Rover thread in the end because the sheer level of bile and hatred was actually quite worrying. I doubt people would care that much about their size, fuel pollution, safety aspects etc if you could buy a RR for just twenty five grand. God knows there's hundreds of thousands of other 4X4s, vans, trucks, lorries and buses on the roads that are much bigger, more polluting, more dangerous.

But a Vogue costs in excess of a hundred thousand quid and they are a beautifully luxurious vehicle that is a dream to drive. I don't have to care about the cost of maintenance, or insurance, or the fuel consumption. I choose to drive one just because I want to. And I think it's having the privilege to be able to choose that is what people resent.

Thank you

a well balance and fair post!!!

I've helpt a load of posters here and I've had a few nice comments but many more no so nice comments. The not so nice ones are very rude and I have reported a few but then I just ignore them when they even try to be nice again

I find the 'Genral Health' forums really helpful and very helpful where the OP has come back and updated

Many posters are nice decent helpful people. However, too many are only too eager to slag certain subjects Eg - re Wills and so-called "fairness" - then slag off private schools - you get slagged off for not support docs strils or the labour party for that matter - the you get the self appointed MN police that go around undermine posters they disagree with

Having stated all that, many good MN's and many MN with problems who are able to post here and seek good guidance and sympathy etc without getting thrown back in your face IRL

I'm always aware that if you post a comment about private schools representing a level of inequality of educational opportunity for children which is ethically indefensible, there will always be someone who's respond with 'you is just jealous'.

We have one of those - best car ever

my free tip is - buy new or nearly new and have a second/third car handy as the range rover, the real one needs deep pockets when out of the property warranty

I think a lot of posters have very basic comprehension skills eg disliking Range Rovers can only be because you can’t afford one and are jealous.

I agree about the old money been considered better than new money which doesn’t make sense when old money will likely have more nefarious links going back.

I have found many posts here helpful personally but I do agree that some topics attract toxic crowds and I avoid them, there’s never anything new to learn after you have read one of the same.

I don't think those threads you mentioned had angry, jealous OPs. I think the people that were described on one of the threads sounded horrible, being rude and snooty towards staff. The OP wasn't poor either, so not really jealous, just a bit baffled that someone would hold that kind of attitude when they haven't even got the balls to get a job.

I just think some of the people being discussed as unpleasant on MN just happen to be wealthy, like some of the people discussed on other threads would be considered low SES. MN is obsessed with class and nobody talks about unpleasant 'average earners' because being an average earner is, well, average.

I don't get why some people can't get their heads around the fact that for all of the money in the world, some people still like to have a job. I know a few well off women who don't need to go to work, but still do. Not all working mothers are jealous of SAHM. I would certainly work fewer hours, but I would bever in a million years not have a job.

Likewise if someone chooses to stay at home, that should be respected, and it can still be bloody difficult at times. It's when SAHM look down on other women working and assume they must be jealous that baffles me. Some of us just like having a job.

I believe my comprehension skills are good. Of course there are plenty of people who genuinely have ethical or moral reasons for not ever wanting to drive a RR. But there are also plenty of people who are simply bitter that others easily have the money to drive one.

Especially on the higher education threads where the same minority of posters seem to think that all young people should aspire to a magic circle/big 4 career, and anything less shows lack of aspiration.

YANBU

I think we need to start Poshnet. Get rid of all those jealous poor people. You can have as many frothy private school threads as you like then.

Thread topics to include are:
VAT on private schools
House prices
Gifted/talented thread
House prices
Baby names (no common or hippy ones)
House prices

Yep totally agree. There are some complete pearl clutching lunatics on here and the most scary thing is they walk amongst us. The jealousy is real.

Im a landlord, own a new Range Rover, given my sons house deposits and have a very high net pension. Now and again I like to throw in a hand grenade on a thread when the usual suspects are foaming at the mouth with vitriol 😂