MN really IS full of jealous, angry people

[durundundun]

AIBU to think MN is full of people spitting tacks that some people have a lot of money. More money than them.

I'm currently reading threads bashing those than own Range Rovers calling the owners stupid, wankers and the like.
Several threads on private school VAT where the resentment is palpable and people are positively gleeful that the private school dc might suffer and end up in sone terrible school miles away from their homes.
Threads on women who do not work and have husbands who earn a lot. Apparently these women are not rich. Their husbands are and the women live 'off their dh money', are prostitutes, their rich husbands are definitely having affairs and the woman are definitely miserable but pretend to be happy and not contributing in any way to the marriage. The same accusers then have to do a completely illogical about face and say they don't think women who earn £2k a year whilst their dh earn over 100k are living off 'his money' because she is 'still contributing' because otherwise they are agreeing that the one who earns more is the boss. And they don't really believe that. That obviously just resent and have rage about rich women who have the choice Whether to work.
Threads on people seeking private diagnoses claiming the highly qualified and regulated consultants are on the make and unethically diagnosing anyone who pays. ^
Threads on how helping adult dc with their first hike purchase makes the dc spoilt, entitled and will definitely fail in life due to always needing help.^

It's just relentless. The people attacking anyone with money are just so illogical and contradictory that it is obvious they just can't stand rich people.

They are convinced anyone with money has gotten it through ill gotten gains, tax evasion, immoral means and when all else fails pulls out the 'new money' trope. ^

Bizarrely they seem to worship people who inherited money through no hard work, sacrifice or intelligence. They love referring to them as old money in the conversations putting down those who made a lot of money themselves.^

They sniffly state they wouldn't want^ a Range Rover if it was given to them/private education for their dc/access to private healthcare/the ability to choose whether to work or not.... basically anything money can buy that they don't already have is beneath their superior moral code. Because by the end of any debate they have to resort to trying to denigrate the rich person's morality^ as all their other attacks are shown to be illogical or weird.

In all honesty most people I know would be on their knees thanking all their Gods if they had no financial worries, no health care waitlists for their sick relatives and the sorts of small class sizes and facilities private schools offer to their kids.
It's kind of cringey reading it.

There really isn't any need to tie oneself in a knot to find the flaw in what OP is saying. The OP is projecting an emotion and motive onto people that she has no way of knowing is correct and presenting that as fact. And while I don't think its 'mean' I do think it's presumptuous, dismissive and manipulative, as its an attempt to stifle opposing views. Few people want to be considered jealous or bitter. The OP knows that, and thinks that by ascribing those traits to people who express negativity about the topics she mentions, she may shame them into silence without needing to trouble herself with forming a counter argument.

She literally called me mean, so I'm nit sure your point here?

What isn't really realistic is to expect people to censor themselves on a discussion forum about things they feel strongly about to save your feelings.

Quite, but I'd rather they were honest and why (some of them) feel such vitriol. But I think it's time to leave this thread now because I have to go out in my morally reprehensible car and my cleaner doesn't like me under her feet when she's working 😉

You've hit the nail on the head!

Absolutely. But getting angry at people who simply have more money than you and who have made different life choices as a result of having more money than you isn't the solution. There will always be people with more. And those people aren't all richer because they've done horrible things to be richer than you.

You are likely richer than some people. Have YOU done horrible things to get to the place where you are richer than them?
Are YOUR choices in life proof that you have sacrificed your morals?
Because that is what people seem to be suggesting more and more.

Anyone richer than themselves have sacrificed their morals and prostituted themselves or stomped on those poorer to get where they are.

Do you feel this describes you? I'm sure those richer than you don't feel it describes them either.

@5128gap

What isn't really realistic is to expect people to censor themselves on a discussion forum about things they feel strongly about to save your feelings.
It depends on what you mean by censor.
If you mean refrain from calling SAHM escorts and that you hope they can bear spreading their legs to earn their keep for a dh who is absolutely shagging the intern then yeah, I think a little self censorship is appropriate. Why don't you?

We've already discussed this, haven't we? I said I had never seen such an awful comment made about SAHMs, and if you have, then it would have been very unusual, likely a troll, and should have been reported for deletion. I've no time for misogyny in any of its forms. You then came back with a list of examples of things you'd seen on threads about SAHMs. Some of which I thought were unnecessarily offensive, others I thought were a reasonable expression of opinion, but none of which came close to the prostitute analogy you keep referencing, which is in a class if it's own, doesn't reflect the attitudes seen on MN, and so inappropriate as your go to example to support your argument.

Some threads take a real "race to the bottom" turn. Those threads are useful insight into the thoughts of some people and have helped me to understand jealousy is very real and clearly a big part of life.

I'm certainly more careful about what I disclose to others. I've a heap of challenges, but people only ever seem to fixate on what you have that they want (not the issues, challenge, sacrifice and struggle). As seen here quite often.

You're not wrong in your observations. But I think given this is an anonymous place to share your thoughts, I'm not the least surprised that people come here to share their opinions honestly.

I quite like mumsnet because it can be spikey and opinionated and is female- dominated. There’s plenty of Positive Blessed Bestlife You’rebeautifulhuninsideandout toxic positivity on social media if my insta and fb feed is anything to go by. I prefer a bit of gritty adult debate tbh and I don’t see why Range Rover drivers and private school parent shouldn’t come in for a bit of shit off randomers now and again 🤷🏼‍♀️

@5128gap

We've already discussed this, haven't we? I said I had never seen such an awful comment made about SAHMs, and if you have, then it would have been very unusual, likely a troll, and should have been reported for deletion. I've no time for misogyny in any of its forms. You then came back with a list of examples of things you'd seen on threads about SAHMs. Some of which I thought were unnecessarily offensive, others I thought were a reasonable expression of opinion, but none of which came close to the prostitute analogy you keep referencing, which is in a class if it's own, doesn't reflect the attitudes seen on MN, and so inappropriate as your go to example to support your argument.
You said you'd never seen the sorts of comments I referred to.
I showed you examples.

They ARE examples so how can be inappropriate as go to examples.

If actual examples are not good examples then what on earth would be?
You can't just invalidate actual examples. How would that be a thing?

I did not. I said I'd never seen a comment about SAHMs using crude misogynist language referencing prostitutes. You keep referring to this comment that you have seen, that I have not, as your evidence that people are bitter and jealous of SAHMs. I'm saying it is not evidence MN is full of people jealous of SAHMs. It is evidence that one poster was a misogynist probable troll.
Your other examples in some cases are reflective of some of the opinions I've seen on SAHM threads. But they are nothing like the prostitute one, and you have no evidence at all to state they are motivated by jealousy.
All the negativity towards SAHMs basically amounts to people thinking its a risky life choice (half of marriages don't last) that it's not a model that serves the interests of women in general and/or people wouldn't fancy it themselves as they value independence, would find it unfulfilling and prefer to use their skills in the world. OK, some may state these things less politely than others, but its ridiculous to imagine they only think these things because they're jealous. Loads of women who could afford not to work choose to work because they also think these things about SAH, and they're not bitter and jealous are they?

Or could this be the goadyness thst op loathes so much?

OP probably saw a troll writing this and the troll was promptly banned.

@MyQuaintDog
If it was a troll it was a troll on lots of threads as contrary to your experience I and others on here have seen lots of horrible comments.

Come on. You aren't telling me you have never read inappropriately nasty comments on MN

@5128gap

I did not. I said I'd never seen a comment about SAHMs using crude misogynist language referencing prostitutes. You keep referring to this comment that you have seen, that I have not,

That YOU have not seen such comments doesn't mean they aren't there.

Here you go. Three different threads.

Nobody's forcing you to read anything.

I got frequent comments about my parents 'buying my grades'.

in a state school?? Really?? That makes no sense, but I suppose bullyong doesn't.

Also in my state school, it was the poor kids that got bullied. A lot of the kids were incredibly shallow, though.

Not everyone wants a Range Rover. The idea that of course they're just jealous is for the hard of thinking.
Do I have the money? Yes, several times over. Am I interested in cars? Nope.

Shh, you'll confuse them with all your nuance. They're desperate for people to be jealous of them. Therefore there can be no other explanation.

Oh well, said. :-)

If I was rich boasting about it on MN would be the last thing I would do. I mean why would you.

It's Walter Mitty land, it really is.

Its the internet!