MN really IS full of jealous, angry people

[durundundun]

AIBU to think MN is full of people spitting tacks that some people have a lot of money. More money than them.

I'm currently reading threads bashing those than own Range Rovers calling the owners stupid, wankers and the like.
Several threads on private school VAT where the resentment is palpable and people are positively gleeful that the private school dc might suffer and end up in sone terrible school miles away from their homes.
Threads on women who do not work and have husbands who earn a lot. Apparently these women are not rich. Their husbands are and the women live 'off their dh money', are prostitutes, their rich husbands are definitely having affairs and the woman are definitely miserable but pretend to be happy and not contributing in any way to the marriage. The same accusers then have to do a completely illogical about face and say they don't think women who earn £2k a year whilst their dh earn over 100k are living off 'his money' because she is 'still contributing' because otherwise they are agreeing that the one who earns more is the boss. And they don't really believe that. That obviously just resent and have rage about rich women who have the choice Whether to work.
Threads on people seeking private diagnoses claiming the highly qualified and regulated consultants are on the make and unethically diagnosing anyone who pays. ^
Threads on how helping adult dc with their first hike purchase makes the dc spoilt, entitled and will definitely fail in life due to always needing help.^

It's just relentless. The people attacking anyone with money are just so illogical and contradictory that it is obvious they just can't stand rich people.

They are convinced anyone with money has gotten it through ill gotten gains, tax evasion, immoral means and when all else fails pulls out the 'new money' trope. ^

Bizarrely they seem to worship people who inherited money through no hard work, sacrifice or intelligence. They love referring to them as old money in the conversations putting down those who made a lot of money themselves.^

They sniffly state they wouldn't want^ a Range Rover if it was given to them/private education for their dc/access to private healthcare/the ability to choose whether to work or not.... basically anything money can buy that they don't already have is beneath their superior moral code. Because by the end of any debate they have to resort to trying to denigrate the rich person's morality^ as all their other attacks are shown to be illogical or weird.

In all honesty most people I know would be on their knees thanking all their Gods if they had no financial worries, no health care waitlists for their sick relatives and the sorts of small class sizes and facilities private schools offer to their kids.
It's kind of cringey reading it.

This is an example in point; having middle class professions used to be perfectly acceptable and respected and would afford you a decent life but ‘money’ wasn’t the holy grail. My dad was an Economist and my Mum was a teacher, they bought their own house easily in what is now a wealthy part of London. In contrast we (DH and I) are on a combined income that is high but we can’t do that- I think many of us are wondering what had happened over to change all this because the very rich having a bit less and the rest having a bit more used to be how this country operated.

Mumset is bonkers sometimes.
Generally it's better to stick to the specific boards, that's where I've learnt a lot over the years. AIBU is a bear pit which spills over into Chat these days.

People keep saying that they work just as hard as someone earning loads more - you DONT get paid for how hard you work you get paid FOR THE JOB YOU DO!

if you want to earn as much as a banker, corporate lawyer or CEO of an international company thats the job you need to do!

I thought we were discussing British society as this is/was a British based forum. I know aristocracy via DH not all living their best life believe me! I wholly agree with you that no one gives a shit about what they think but why can’t you understand that this is exactly how people think about ostentatious signs of wealth? Values of the old fashioned upper middle class Brits wouldn’t be around signs of wealth, they would be cultural e.g literary, the Arts, politics even, definitely not about Range Rovers!

I’m not being combative or sarcastic. But seriously, why would you start a thread to get everyone arguing about the thing you don’t want people arguing about?

Yes, if earning lots of money is a value you hold dearly! Other people have different values.

MN is possibly the most toxic site I have ever encountered. There are some absolutely lovely sides to it, but the negativity is so overwhelming at times.

@StormingNorman
I was posting because it is a really unpleasant phenomenon on social media and forums and something people might want to discuss. The behaviours. Not an opportunity for people to start up again on the rich poor debate.

It's the awful behaviours that I am discussing. Not the topics. Sadly it has resulted in some people have decided to launch into attacks again. Which is both sad and ironic.

There are certainly a lot of absolute weirdos and keyboard warriors here, seems like a lot more than there used to be. AIBU gets worse and worse, but the smaller specialist boards are still nice and supportive.

Sad, ironic and entirely predictable. Which was my point.

It possibly says a lot about you that you see the thread as something to get everyone arguing again. I didn’t see it as that, but then I’m not ‘combative’.

But that’s the point, Britain is one of the worst countries in the world for wealth inequality, it didn’t used to be, perhaps people are sick of that change and it needs to be spoken about, it is entirely relevant to your initial post. If you are in fact referring to Britain? Are you?

I’ve been on MN a very long time, it was always very much left of centre in the 00s not a neo liberal appreciation society!

Absolutely.

But for some MNters, "hard work" actually means low paid, often thankless job.

You see it when discussing jobs for your teens. If it's not unskilled, badly paid, thankless, it could not possibly be "hard work". Anyone not doing the lowest paid job is spoilt.

I pity the kids who are raised around that attitude.

Most of them come across as incredibly thick so no I am not jealous.

@Goldenbear

Values of the old fashioned upper middle class Brits wouldn’t be around signs of wealth, they would be cultural e.g literary, the Arts, politics even, definitely not about Range Rovers!
Only in very recent times. And that is more due to them as you say, not all being in a great state. Historically they were pretty flamboyant and showy. Look at their houses for a start 😂
It's only since their wealth declined and access to cash diminished that they adopted the old ragged tweed, bear up old car image. There are still some of the British upper class who are phenomenally wealthy like the recently married Duke of Westminster who in part retain their wealth by not having to pay any inheritance tax. £4 billion he did not have to pay due to clever tax arrangements. Arrangements but afforded to you or me. And putting down flashy new money as trashy was mostly due to the cash strapped aristocrats wanting to still feel superior. The fact is aristocratic society used to be VERY flamboyant and not at all understated.

Did the critics? You do know you can be angry without being jealous? Rich folk boasting or being disingenuous about the extent of their privilege irritate the happy and comfortable too, y' know. As do "ooh, you're just jealous" facile responses.

@Goldenbear

But that’s the point, Britain is one of the worst countries in the world for wealth inequality, it didn’t used to be, perhaps people are sick of that change and it needs to be spoken about, it is entirely relevant to your initial post. If you are in fact referring to Britain? Are you?
Then why are people directing their hatred towards those who just gave a bit more money than themselves.
Raging at a SAHM or people who send their dc to private school when the truly wealthy are avoiding millions if not billions in tax is where people should be focussed.

But no they prefer to call regular people who are just richer than them nasty names and slurs. It is a sad state of social media. Telling them they are prostitutes and that they hope they enjoy spreading their legs to earn their keep is just vile and says so much more about the poster than their target.

IMO ..anything above 100 comments is generally an argument on here

Yes, the Upper classes were flamboyant when they had more money, I’m referring to the upper middle classes who were/are more likely to work (for a start) but their pursuits were/are nothing to do with money, they are not ostentatious, they are understated, they are probably more likely to be left wing. My DH’s family are like that and they don’t even mention money, probably because they have it and don’t have to worry about it. They would obviously have to worry about it if they wanted a billionaire lifestyle but they don’t so that’s ok.

Wholeheartedly agree.

When I was a school leaver 25ish years ago teaching was a pretty solid profession and you could expect to have a decent standard of living on the salary. However I remember chatting with one of dd’s teachers just prior to Covid after they had just signed a passport application for another child, and they commented that nowadays teaching is only viewed as a profession for the purposes of completion of similar forms. I still find it sad that someone with such a worthwhile role felt so unappreciated. This is only compounded by minimal wage increases.

Unfortunately as much as this situation is wrong, I can’t see it changing. This generation has to deal with the way things are now and with the increasing cost of living salary is a very important consideration if you want to be able to support yourself and your family.

Well no, I don’t agree with that, for a start I was a SAHM for a while, I did go to private school until I was nearly 13 but in all honesty this was a massive bone of contention between my parents and another thing that led to their divorce. Political values were very important to my Dad so I genuinely don’t think everyone is jealous, I think people do really have differing values and ideals.

😂😂 that’s my kind of person! Personally I aspire to a pink wrapped Lamborghini Urus 😍👌

I'd love to have a bright pink and gold glitter expensive car, just to give haters something to moan about 😂

@Goldenbear

I genuinely don’t think everyone is jealous, I think people do really have differing values and ideals.
Oh I agree. But the people who have genuine differing values and ideals are not communicating them by calling SAHMs prostitutes or asking them if they enjoy spreading their legs to earn their keep. They aren't gleefully looking forward to other peoples dc suffering. They aren't being passive aggressive and trying to make other people feel small are they. They are having normal adult debates.

The sort of people doing the former rarely have values or ideals. They are just reacting to the anger they feel about life not being what they want and other people having more than them.