Would you go to a friends engagement party on the day of your birthday?

[Sevensummers]

My birthday is in September and my friend just recently told our friendship group that her engagement part is on my birthday. I immediately said I won’t be able to come because it’s my birthday and I’ll be doing something nice with my boyfriend, was planning a nice weekend away, however nothing is booked yet. I said to my sister its a shame because I would’ve liked to go to that, but it’s only an engagement party, it’s not as if it’s her wedding day. My sister said why don’t I just do my birthday getaway the weekend before/after but I said no because it’s nice to do it on my actual birthday, I want my birthday to be about me, I don’t want to be celebrating someone else’s engagement when I want to be having my own celebrations for myself lol. My sister said ‘but you still can! You can literally do both’ But I just felt like it’s not the same, it’s not like your birthday falls on a Saturday every year and seeing as it does this year, I want to make the most of it. I really love birthdays, we dont have a lot of money and I never get to go away or buy myself things so we tend to make a big deal out of birthdays and make them really special for each other. And I was looking forward to doing something really good on the actual day of my birthday.

However I’m starting to feel a a bit selfish now and think I should go to my friends engagement party and just do my birthday celebrations some other time. What do you think? Would you think badly of your friend if she didn’t come to your engagement party on her birthday?

just to note, she isn’t my best friend. Our group only sees each other a couple of times a year. So it would be nice to see them all as the last time was almost a year ago. But at the same time we aren’t SUPER close

Agreed

It literally doesn't matter either way.

Dear god are you 5?

At 33 have a word with yourself

go to the engagement party

Exactly. My closest friend had a housewarming on my birthday. I was a tiny bit put out but then it isn’t all about me and I got to go to a party with friends in her very beautiful house.

Having a date that works for everyone is hard.

I'd go, and I'd do the birthday celebrations the weekend before or after. That way I've got two celebrations/nice events, rather than one.

If it was a wedding I’d do something for my birthday another day but as it’s an engagement party and, as you say, we don’t often get weekend birthdays I’d enjoy my birthday.
Send a card wishing them well.

There’s Another thread on a ‘Graduation event’ for finishing nursery and this one on Engagement parties……just looking now for something on a Gender reveal party 😆🤪

My last birthday was a big one & my husband was off work so we were arranging to do something on the day & the inconsiderate bugger was ill!

I wouldn't miss a party because of my birthday. Your 33 not 13 ffs. Celebrate the weekend after!!

I would just go it doesn't have to be on your birthday. It's not like it's a big one.

But you haven't actually booked anything.

I don't actually like engagement parties but I'd go one if I were invited unless I had a prior commitment elsewhere. If I were your friend and you refused for this reason I wouldn't spend money on inviting you to the wedding.

I’d go to the party.

But I’m not a big one for birthdays really, I do celebrate but it doesn’t matter to me that it’s actually on the day etc.

But also, I’d not be upset if a friend turned down my engagement party for their birthday either.

33? Jesus. Go to the party, you're not an 8 year old. Celebrate on Friday or Sunday and don't be a big spoiled baby. It's not a good look.

We went to a friend's engagement party on my partner's birthday a few months ago. We just went for a nice brunch for his birthday that morning and he thought no more of it... we had a great night with friends.

When we booked our wedding a family member said "you do know that's your aunt and uncle's wedding anniversary?" as if nothing can ever occur on the same date as something else. 😂

Engagement parties are embarrassing. People seriously expect you to fork out for engagement, hen do and the wedding. But having a birthday is indulgent? Fuck off 🤣 only on mumsnet

It’s indulgent to expect people to care enough about the wedding, a hen do and the engagement party.

Hug? I got married on my cousin’s birthday. She was bridesmaid and it wasn’t an issue! We sang happy birthday to her! I wouldn’t think twice and just celebrate another day!!

Completely agree! Mumsnet is a parallel universe sometimes.

Lol. I thought you were going to be much younger than 33. Being so precious about your Birthday is a bit ridiculous to me. Just pick another day to celebrate.

YABU but i'm guessing you aren't a close friend

I would 100% got to your friend’s party! You can celebrate your birthday another day. You do seem hard work and aged 5. Sorry but you asked!!

I don’t think your question is so much “Would you go to an engagement party on your birthday?”, it’s more “Would you go to an engagement party on your birthday if you’d already decided on birthday plans?”.

I would much rather go away for a the weekend than go to an engagement party, so I would have done the same as you. It would be a bit different if it was a close friend, but then a close friend probably wouldn’t have planned a party for your birthday!

Mumsnet really is a parallel universe. Never heard any one say a perfectly normal thing like an engagement party is an embarassment.

but then never hear a grown adult like the op saying she wants to spend the day celebrating her, can’t decide if I’m thinking fair play or lol, think it’s more the latter,

Well she has plans but nothing booked.