Husband to not attend nursery graduation?

[AleenaM]

Nursery graduation at the end of the month and summer party right after, but husband says he has a sports/hobby competition that day. Don't know if he's joking but even the suggestion annoys me.

AIBU to expect him to attend party? Child won't graduate again but I'm sure they'll be competitions again. He is just getting back into this sport and it's a regional competition, it's not like a once in a lifetime olympics or something ...

I genuinely think that graduation ceremonies should be recognised for Graduates!! It’s absolutely ridiculous that a very young child has the drama of graduation!
My granddaughter is leaving nursery in August ,we will be arranging a lovely gift for the staff,granddaughter will just leave without any drama,she is only 4 !!

Wait until mumsnet finds out there's karate, gymnastics or baby sensory graduations. Now that's maybe a step too far for me too 🙈

Mumsnet is the weirdest place. Full of criticism for not doing enough for your kids. Full of criticism for attending an event that's been planned for your child.

Leaving nursery is as big a deal as starting school.

But attending leaving nursery isn't 'doing something for your kids!'.

Doing something for your kids means actually doing something for your kids! Not just turning up to a party!

Sorry I'm confused.

Leaving nursery is as big a deal as starting school
It really isn't. As many of us think. Hence so many thinking it is really neither here nor there that one parent didn't attend. The gowns thing is beyond cringe.

Not surprising that these things come in waves close to each other. There's probably areas where all the nurseries do it because they're copying each other and other areas where hardly any do

They aren't shocked, they just need us to know that they're above such modern American frivolities.

A celebration of achieving a particular level in karate or gymnastics, or any other sport, is something I would get behind and encourage. Same with dancing grades, presenting the main badges in Brownies and Guides, for example.

They are very different from calling something you have little or no option but to do/complete.

How do you 'achieve' graduation from nursery?

Can you also fail nursery?!

It's beyond bonkers and just for cute pictures on social media rather than anything more. It's not like the kids understand. If anything it could be more unsettling for kids that age.

That's not what I meant. I mean that our social media often reflects our own worlds - the people we hang around with and lead similar lives to.

I'm am actually quite surprised OP is able to see the SM of every single private nursery and council nursery across the 3 local authorities. They're usually quite locked down. But that's a different issue.

My DCs are 12 and 10 and we had this but we didn't go to DS' because it was during DD nap time. We went to the party afterwards. Honestly, your DC won't care.

My DDs left two different nurseries in 2013 and 2015. They didn't have these ceremonies but lots did.

Whatever your views are you can surely understand that if the OP's classmates have parents there she wants to be there too.

My dh is forces so was never available for parents evening / leaving parties etc.

I can understand why he wouldn't want to take tine off for this but I understand you too.

Nah, they're just marking the end of the school term and end of gymnastics or karate classes. Not celebrating any success or belt or level as such.

Can't believe we're still talking about the DH not taking leave when OP explained multiple times he was at a hobby not work.

Yep.

Graduation from.nursery is 😂 then graduation from primary then secondary then uni. I'm sure he be at some of them.

Neither of mine had nursery graduation. Nor did my dh attend the last day of primary. He went to sports day mostly and shows in the evening and parents evening. That was it.

I think you are over thinking this. It's not a big deal.

Would he have missed a school event on a Saturday that your DC had been preparing for because he was going to his hobby?

An actual event like a show they'd been preparing for? No, neither of is would miss that. A pointless ceremony to mark a non-event? Quite possibly. Same as I missed DD leaving nursery and he went because I was working (and for a non-event like this I don't think there's any difference between working and being at a hobby) and he was free.

It is a show they've been preparing for. They sing some songs they've been working on and wear a costume - from the children's point of view it's no different to a Nativity, which most parents make the effort for.

And I think there's a huge difference between work and a hobby with this stuff, it's not always possible to miss work but hobbies are always a choice.

It is a choice. And in my opinion a totally legitimate one.

The gowns thing has zero to do with a decision to attend or not.

It's impossible that, like me, op has friends whose kids go to various nurseries and then post their graduation photo on sm?

I still cannot understand people saying it's no big deal. My now 19yo went to nursery from 4mo until he was 5y 4m. Five full years at the nursery was a massive deal for him to leave, and there's no way he "wouldn't care" if we hadn't attended. It really was a huge deal to him.
My younger son leaving was also a big deal to him as his best friend at the time was going to a different primary school

No it's not impossible, but I suspect it's unlikely that OP knows a family in every single private nursery and council nursery across the 3 local authorities.
That's A LOT of nurseries.

Where you live, it might be a LOT of nurseries.
Where I live there are quite a few, and I knew of kids at pretty much all of them. I might not have been close friends but I knew of them and saw posts.