So confused my partner lives with me but won’t work …

[ShyLionesss]

my partner or should I say boyfriend lives with me well we live together, he does not work and has not for the whole time I been with him , .. I provide 95% of everything,, I Keep him in clothes, food ,scents , plus I have provided our 5 months old with everything ! I mean everything even the furniture for her bedroom pram clothes food milk , he has only got her 2 tins of milk :(( he does old jobs for his family abd gets paid bits here and there, I even get his family Xmas and bday gifts each year,, I just can’t take no more but I feel guilty for some reason,, he didn’t even rub my feet or back while being pregnant, not even a bunch of flowers after having baby lol ,, I’m a fool ??

You sounds like you need therapy. Explore why you are letting yourself be treated this way and blaming yourself for his failing

My up bringing,, I think,, I was abused in every way possible.. but I’m ok every thing happens for a reason, my experience I can then help others,,, but where were we…yeah therapy..

This is what I need to do

Is he just some kind of decoration in your house? A piece of performance art that really elevates the space in some way? Otherwise I don’t understand the point of being with him. Of course, if he’s acting this way due to illness or mental health , I have sympathy, but otherwise he seems like he must be an acquired taste.

@LargeSquareRock there’s no shame in being an empathetic person. Don’t be hard on yourself for that, the world needs more people who hate the thought of hurting anything or anyone. But please think about extending that empathy to yourself. Don’t set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm!

What you are describing are habits and actions.
When a shop keeper says a price, she is not being mean just setting a requirement. To be in a relationship with someone means accepting you have to contribute to the relationship, stating that is not being mean.
You have a way of thinking that you should take the pain but it is just a silly idea not who you are.

What are you confused about?

You don’t need to help others, most people aren’t mugs. Help yourself and kick him out.