So confused my partner lives with me but won’t work …

[ShyLionesss]

my partner or should I say boyfriend lives with me well we live together, he does not work and has not for the whole time I been with him , .. I provide 95% of everything,, I Keep him in clothes, food ,scents , plus I have provided our 5 months old with everything ! I mean everything even the furniture for her bedroom pram clothes food milk , he has only got her 2 tins of milk :(( he does old jobs for his family abd gets paid bits here and there, I even get his family Xmas and bday gifts each year,, I just can’t take no more but I feel guilty for some reason,, he didn’t even rub my feet or back while being pregnant, not even a bunch of flowers after having baby lol ,, I’m a fool ??

I'm sure there are plenty of people without ambition but the op clearly does have along with a string work ethic, so being with a man who doesn't is a clear unbalance in this relationship.
She's already feeling neglected, pressured and confused. This won't get better.

I am confused - why are you confused. It's clear as day what is going on. Do you really need MN to spell it out?

Why did you have a baby with this man? Why did you let him move in when he didn’t have a job and couldn’t support you?

Ask him to move out. He needs to get a job and pay child maintenance towards his child. Contact the Child Maintenance Service to ask for help.

Do not allow any other future man to move in with you; with a young baby you are very vulnerable to being targeted by a man who might want to abuse your child.

To be fair, I wouldn't work if someone paid for all my things and I could stay home all day faffing and doing my own thing.

Dump him today. Leave his stuff outside. Change the locks.

I don't know... that sounds uncomfortable

At least if he had gold plated tackle, she could make some money out of him by putting him on some Channel 4 freak show!

Is he claiming UC @ShyLionesss?

Don't think OP has been back, so...

Why on earth does he feel it’s unfair that as a grown man, he has to contribute towards his own costs?! The nerve he has to throw it in your face as if your his mum and hes 8 years old being forced to clean chimneys! I don’t know how you can stand him.

What are you confused about? Its pretty clear he’s a freeloading cocklodger taking the piss out of you

His dick must be made of 22 carat cold and ejaculate diamonds for you to tolerate this ponce

Utter bloody rubbish. Who are all these women expecting their boyfriends to pay for everything whilst they don’t work and aren’t a SAHM? You’re also very confident about what women would tell this mythical man so I assume you have evidence of such threads? This man has not been a SAHD, and seeing is OP is likely on maternity leave, he’s not one now either, so please, do tell us more about these childless women who are fully supported on here in not working and having a man pay for everything.

I agree with you . You are a fool and he knows it.

What's so confusing about your partner being a lazy bastard.
How long were you together when he moved in?
Bet it was his idea so he could sponge off you.
I am also the type to refuse a date with a man who doesn't work

Im not going to comment if you’re a fool or not, knowing this isn’t going to change your past with this man.

You can change your future, he isn’t going to change and only you can do that told you and your daughter.

He's lazy and you're willingly supporting him. What is there to be confused about?

You're a massive fool. And an even bigger mug.

Get rid of him. He's a useless cocklodger. Your life will be so much nicer without him!

(Why did you think he'd be a good choice as a partner or father to your baby?!)

He won’t work as he said he done enough work with his ex and there kids, I keep hoping that he might just might change but I think he won’t I just feel I failed and I don’t want to hurt no one I’m not a hurtful person :(( I’m just lost

I didn’t plan a baby I have a grown son of 23 years old , I thought it was the menopause!!

I know what I have to do but I freeze , thank you all so so much for your advice it was what I was thinking without the bad names .. lol see I can’t even think of bad stuff to say to him as I feel guilty just keep doubting myself x

@ShyLionesss does he get UC?

It's not his choice, stop funding him. He pays or he goes. That simple.

Tell him you're not subsidising him any longer. He'll probably find someone else to latch on to.

You're getting nothing out of this relationship, you shouldn't feel guilty at all. I think you need to tell him you've had enough and he needs to leave or get a job and contribute.

You could give him a month so he has time to show you he means to change and if there is no job at the end of the month then you'll know you've been fair and reasonable and it will help with the guilt.

But if you've had enough right now telling him to sling his hook now is right too.

Why do you feel guilty? He's the one one that should be guilty for being such a lazy good for nothing parasite living off you

You do not need him. You are capable of providing for yourself and the baby alone as you have already demonstrated. So make life a lot easier and cheaper and throw him out and change the locks.

I gave him time after time ,,deadlines… always an excuse