To think Mumsnet is a load of bollocks?

[lexiebell]

What good advice do you ever get from here really? From everyone person that agrees one will say you are the worst (Mum,Wife,Friend) ever ! So judgemental and would love to know the people who are doing the judgement! Telling people to leave a marriage because of some minor upset, its a joke! Get a bloody life ,Life and Marriage isnt easy,we all get annoyed by stuff,but you dont give up cos the mumsnetters tell you ,RUN ,RUN FOR THE HILLS ,if you have good foundations,have some fight and try and make it work,dont forget sometimes the best most fulfilling route is not the easiest,but the best for you and your kids, we only hear one side on here dont forget ! Parenting is hard ,full stop ! Wether a single parent or otherwise( have been both )vulnerable people will be influenced by the sometimes shit advice on here,just please be careful what you dole out

Well, I like it but no-one's forcing you to stay, @lexiebell . There's always Reddit.

I haven’t seen many threads where the OP has been told to leave over a minor upset tbh. Usually it’s straight up abuse. Same with the NC thing. Not really sure why people being advised to leave abusive relationships upsets you so much?

I totally agree . Not just on the relationship front but on parenting. Abusive relationship. I have seen lots of victim blaming .lots of twisting and even lying about what op has said I have seen op getting attacked from several people almost like they are in a little girl gang bulky group.

I also think alot of mn are up their own arse and are snobs. I think half the time theu have absolutely no idea how things work. Especially if you can't just through money at it.

Other side of the coin is there are some lovely people here who do have understanding . Empathy and understanding. They have kind words and put things across kindly. And have a good understanding of the op struggles

The thing I most value about MN is that you can get some really good advice ( non affiliated) about anything you may be thinking of buying or holidays or cars or clothes. That is what brought me here and what I value most.
In relation to the rest, I have seen some wonderful and supportive posts on here and some not so much. It’s like life - you take the rough with the smooth. If you try to moderate anything ‘negative’ you get into the realms of censorship and the whole site would become meaningless.

Oh, and if you really are married to a decent man but you start a thread on mumsnet slagging him off because your annoyed he didn’t empty the dish washer then maybe you’re then one who needs to get a life

Yeah women should be able to shack up with the first bloke they sleep so bring him home to the kids with no thought to anything that will affect the children and say 'meet your new dad' then when it all goes wrong cry 'victim blaming' kids will be ok they will get over it, till the next pregnancy

Firstly, why should I agree with or support someone simply because we both have a vagina? I hate this ‘women are meant to support each other’ shit. Why?

I'd like to know, too.

Bceause every women is 'vulnerable' and has 'anxiety' and does not want to use their brain

Lots of key board warriers and bullies and don't get me started on the feminist board where they actively shout down other womens opinions without a smidge of irony!

But often people are told they sre being unreasonable when they actually are and in real life people would probably just bitch about them behind their backs

I’ve been on here a long time (14 years) now and I think that, on the whole, the advice is decent.

I used to feel the same as you about the LTB advice but, what I think I didn’t realise, and maybe you haven’t, is the fact they post probably means things are bad. So often I used to post ‘the other side’ and then found out later that it was even worse than you would have imagined. I think most have a high threshold before they feel they are betraying their partner by posting on here, so it is normally quite bad.

You do have posters who have nothing better to do than slate men and try and break up relationships (I often think they would have been tricoteuses in the French Revolution), but you also have plenty of empathetic ones with really good advice.

I wouldn’t personal post on an internet forum for relationship advice at all. But some posters have become really isolated (often due to abuse) and this forum is a life saver for them.

you mean 'unless you are doing feminism my way it is wrong'

AIBU is ropey, topics are good - gardening, legal, pregnancy.

Well, I think it's the dog's bollocks.
Not perfect, but there are a lot of intelligent, interesting posters here.
If I'm not enjoying a thread, I stop following it. Simple.

I actually think it's incredibly anti-tory. If I was to make a post saying 'Tory & Proud', I would be jumped on by 9 million people telling me I'm a racist, I hate old people and I want children to starve.

I'm Northern but I'm not skint and I would agree that there are many members who cannot comprehend that their 100k wage is massive 'but i live in the SE', there are those who are competing to be the poorest, there are those who cannot grasp that some people prioritise holidays and should be quiet because they're lucky and shouldn't discuss their holidays and should 'read the room'.

I rarely use MN for advice. I use it for discussion and debate.

You put anything into the public domain and you're going to get public thought. And it's like anything for the population as a whole, you have to sift through the dross to get the gold nuggets.

You sound like a poster that didn't get what they wanted.

Patronising crap.

Simple, it was inherited by and taken over by millennials.

Opnions are shared and advice given.
How you take it is your choice.
I find it quite interesting the sayings, thoughts, ideas, advice from a different country to myself.
I have read a threads that you wonder how & what people live with.
Threads with great advice.
Mostly the feral replies or coaxing to leave a bad situation i think is rightfully so.
Women always like to be right so hello, mums forum.

Mumsnet has helped me in more ways than I can count…

i actually use it like a search engine… as in when I ask google a question I write mumsnet at the end.

it’s easy to just filter out the idiots/mean/trolls and concentrate on the thoughtful and helpful responses.

thanj you mumsnet and all the wise and helpful women 🙏💐💐💐

Closing other women for having an opinion is not feminism

The number one way it's helped me is that it's pointed out things no one should tolerate in a relationship just for the sake of being in one.

Hardened me up I think or you could say it's given my eyes a decent pair of lenses that sees the bullshit.

If not for MN I'd likely be in a bad relationship with someone abusive and coercive and convinced they're decent because they don't hit me in the face.

But instead it's made me realise I don't need a relationship at all, that everyone has different sex drives and that I'm not a weirdo freak for not really having one.

Now, I may come across harsh in Relationship threads, but I want all women to see the world and their relationship through the lenses MN gave me and stop putting up with less, when they could have so much more.
Not being hit is a minimum, not the goal.

True, it’s more the stuff they say about people, saying kids are ugly etc in some of the posts I’ve read. Some of it is so unnecessary in that respect. Here you’d have people calling that behaviour out. But agree this place is terrible for pile on’s and I’m sure some people just say black is white to make the poster feel bad. It’s so unnecessary and rude

I treat it like entertainment. I particularly love the 'hand grenade' threads where someone posts an outlandish scenario and everyone gets incredibly riled up only for the OP to never return. Or even better when the OP (obvious troll) starts arguing and abusing everyone on the thread. I just had a coffee and a mindless scroll/laugh at it.

I think if you assume MN is full of all kinds of people, some nice and genuine, some horrible and spiteful all mixed in with trolls and wind-up merchants and then treat it like 'junk Tv', you'll get on just fine.

I'm on here every day at some point, so I would sound like a right hypocrite if I had nothing but complaints about it. I think there's some great advice and information to be had and there are areas of the forum where no one is ever rude or dismissive (or it's rare), like hobby threads and support threads.

But I do think there's an element of nastiness that wasn't just as prominent when I joined about 16/17 years ago. One line dismissive replies, as seen above, fired out by posters who love to show they're part of 'the gang'. Unnecessarily abrasive replies to people who are perhaps not particularly well informed about a subject. Directing people to 'the other forum' which is hilariously not named or is misnamed, for using expressions or language that doesn't tally with the Mumsnet approved script of telling it like it is with a good dose of expletives. It seems that if the first response is rude and dismissive, loads of other posters pile on with similar and eventually, someone dares to put their head above the parapet and say something helpful in a kind and respectful way. Then there might be a flurry of replies in this vein.

Hiding threads, or indeed entire subjects, can greatly reduce the bollocks.

It'a a mix in here , some set out to shock/annoy and are attention seekers , some are trolls , and some are nice and give heartfelt advice . And , of course , some of these are actually like people in real life !