To think Mumsnet is a load of bollocks?

[lexiebell]

What good advice do you ever get from here really? From everyone person that agrees one will say you are the worst (Mum,Wife,Friend) ever ! So judgemental and would love to know the people who are doing the judgement! Telling people to leave a marriage because of some minor upset, its a joke! Get a bloody life ,Life and Marriage isnt easy,we all get annoyed by stuff,but you dont give up cos the mumsnetters tell you ,RUN ,RUN FOR THE HILLS ,if you have good foundations,have some fight and try and make it work,dont forget sometimes the best most fulfilling route is not the easiest,but the best for you and your kids, we only hear one side on here dont forget ! Parenting is hard ,full stop ! Wether a single parent or otherwise( have been both )vulnerable people will be influenced by the sometimes shit advice on here,just please be careful what you dole out

I love you OP! I couldn’t agree more

"Off you pop then!", is one of my most favourite phrases!
ODFOD then?
No one's forcing you to stay. Some of us have been here 20+ years and we like it. If you don't, no problem, cheerio .......

I’m glad someone else said it first 🤣 I find mumsnet really great for advice on practical things like IVF, car insurance, recipe ideas, interview skills etc. I first started using as a nanny and when I had problems with my boss mumsnet we’re really supportive, they love nannies it seems.

Fast forward to a few years later when I posted about relationship issues and I got absolutely slammed. My post was quite trivial and common but on mumsnet it was like I was the only person in the world having a tiff with my husband.

I've gotten amazing advice here, it's literally kept our house from falling apart in parenting and organisation, and saved us health wise (asthma, rosacea and eczema people, and all the household tips, I'm thinking of you x!!)

I feel like the 'ltb' people, the 'go nc' people or the 'my heart bleeds' people (on anything to do with money) or the 'ignore the mums at the school gates, they're just bitches' people (and all the people who think give a smart ass one liner with too many curses in it) must have just been very unlucky in life, and think the world is against them, which is sad and a pity, it must be a tough life being so angry all the time.

I also feel like a lot of people forget that none of us are perfect eg we've all possibly ignored people at the school gates because we were trying to figure out shit, or were too involved in a conversation that we needed to have etc.

And that we've been as bad to partners than they've been to us, Dh would definitely have ltb before I'd gotten to him, he puts up with a lot!! I stay because I find more fun and helpful things than not really!

Saying that I think we all need to remember some people on here have experienced stuff in particular dv or the like and sadly they haven't experienced the nice little things in life, they're too used to fighting to exist

I wouldn't ask for advice on here but some of the threads are quite amusing and I like the telly addicts board, in fact I think the only board I have started a thread in is telly addicts and I've been here years

Well if you just read AIBU maybe but go onto the other sections and you can get brilliant support and advice. Been a great support for me over the years.

I find quite the opposite tbh!

It has helped me through some tough times, something comforting about knowing other mums out there, up in the night and many dealing with difficult things.

Some posters make me laugh or inspire me, a lot of them really do need to LTB (and know they do hence their post) but sometimes it’s obviously said in humour.

Sometimes posters do seem vulnerable and if I think I might upset them I don’t post on their thread, but not always obvious until they’ve interacted with a few people already (one on AIBU recently).

I like that there are a lot of different perspectives but there have been some disruptive elements and in recent times much AI generated which derails threads.

Some of the campaigns have been good and it’s another way to have a voice.

I get it. I'm incredibly sensitive, too.

I do wonder if Mumsnet has helped me to grow a slightly thicker skin over the years. Just slightly.

I think that some of the people who come to Mumsnet to leave toxic/nasty comments (especially on threads where someone is struggling) are not happy in their own lives and bullying strangers/tearing others down is an outlet for offloading some of their negative emotions. Happy people don't leave those comments. I feel a bit sorry for people like that.

You are seeing a different MN to the one I see. 🤷‍♂️

There is a lot of support on here for women in bad relationships - and for women who need support in general.

Telling people to leave a marriage because of some minor upset, it's a joke!

For every hundred threads about a "minor upset" there's a real story of a real woman suffering from abuse, drugs, alcohol, cheating, etc, so if we can support that one woman to leave a life of hell and go on to lead a safe and stable life away from that, then MN is worth it.

likewise if someone is trapped in a job where they're bullied and scared to go to work but have to because it's their livelihood, showing them that they aren't working for a good employer and what their rights are, is a good use of this platform.

maybe you've never been in need, but there are others who are, you're free to find a different site to spend your time. Nowhere is perfect, so you'll probably be looking a long time!

Do you not have a space bar?

Well you've just proved your thread.
That is a very bitchy and unnecessary comment. It is an expression, used widely
Kettle. Black. The. Calling. Pot. Rearrange these wordss to make a well-known apt phrase

youve only found this out now?

I love MN and couldn’t have done without it over the years. It’s people isn’t it, they vary in their experiences and therefore in what they will write. Yes some people are dicks or need help themselves, plus any sort of election brings about loads of paid shills to the site, I swear, so your own judgement still always needs applying.
But I’ve occasionally had terrible advice from IRL friends too! A pro here is the benefit of anonymity which can sometimes allow a lot more honesty on all sides. MN posters have kept me sane and made me laugh. I’m very grateful the site exists.

“Why are women so angry?”

jesus: where do I start?

It really depends which topic. Mental health is usually really supportive, which is amazing.

Exactly this. Some stuff is bonkers, some people are clearly mad, but there's also loads of good, reasoned debate.

I’ve never seen the sort of pile on that you get on here on tattle- it’s one of the friendlier sites in that regard, I think. The level of vitriol some mn posters show towards people who are struggling anyway is really pathetic. More like a forum full of 13 year olds than adult women sometimes.

Firstly, why should I agree with or support someone simply because we both have a vagina? I hate this ‘women are meant to support each other’ shit. Why?

Secondly, some parents are bad parents, just saying ‘your bub, your rulez hun’ doesn’t help anyone. Same with relationships. So many times women post on here saying their DH is lovely but then describe so dreadful behaviour. Often those posters know they should leave but need someone else to tell them.

Finally, I don’t think I would have go through my IVF and infertility without the support of MN.

I like it here. Though it does serve as a reminder that a large section of society are batshit crazy.

I think it serves a variety of purposes. Advice is often good and information re illnesses best buys and so on. Opportunity to talk about stuff that interest you royals, books, politics eye. Entertainment too. I like it. Nearly always something interesting to read.

MN is a little piece of society and there is poster with different views, some are nice, some are nasty, some are gentle, some are not.
As society has many Schordinger paradoxes.
As example: kids must be in bed by seven but at the same time have to be in different activities, the more the many every day after school. This is carved in stone like the 11th commandment.

There are poster here how clearly think they know better, and sometimes we see just an example of stubborn people having a go to someone/something, specially the inquisitive ones than don't read correctly and think they are making a point. Those post are both hilarious and very sad.
However you have to separate the ore from the bargain, like in any other situation. There is advice here that is precious.
So yes, it is full of bargain, tons of it, but there are real ore as well. That is why I like it.

Compare it with some other social media sites. Imperfect for sure, though a lot less than many others.

For me the amusing stories and playing Mornington Crescent are more my thing than some of the other threads, even though I will contribute to them.

Well, if you are going to read every post on every thread and follow the advice of every poster, then you will become confused, I agree. Because I've never seen a thread where everyone agrees, and it simply isn't possible to both 'get your ducks in a row and LTB' AND 'Give hubby a chance and work on your marriage'. So, what most people would do, is read the posts and follow the advice of those that resonate. If you don't have the ability to do that, then I can see why you find it a little overwhelming. But I think you're probably in a minority tbh.