To think Mumsnet is a load of bollocks?

[lexiebell]

What good advice do you ever get from here really? From everyone person that agrees one will say you are the worst (Mum,Wife,Friend) ever ! So judgemental and would love to know the people who are doing the judgement! Telling people to leave a marriage because of some minor upset, its a joke! Get a bloody life ,Life and Marriage isnt easy,we all get annoyed by stuff,but you dont give up cos the mumsnetters tell you ,RUN ,RUN FOR THE HILLS ,if you have good foundations,have some fight and try and make it work,dont forget sometimes the best most fulfilling route is not the easiest,but the best for you and your kids, we only hear one side on here dont forget ! Parenting is hard ,full stop ! Wether a single parent or otherwise( have been both )vulnerable people will be influenced by the sometimes shit advice on here,just please be careful what you dole out

Diet/nutrition threads are my favourite 😂

It’s said on here all the time!

Given that it's for Mums, hopefully not loads of bollocks. Especially based on the feminism threads.
Joking but couldn't resist.

I've been a lurker for years, I won't demean myself by rolling off some infamous threads or phrases but I've seen some fantastic advice especially on the Relationships Threads & even since I've started actively posting I've found it the same, maybe it's the threads I read? I'm Irish (mostly) so I wouldn't read/comment on threads that have nothing to do with me (Royals, Tories, etc) as I'd have little to add & it can get a bit oneup-manshippy sometimes & there'll always be stealth bragging cunts but overall in all the years I've never found it to be a "cesspit" & in fact a lot of it is quite funny

I think if people are doling out advice ultimately it's up to the poster to either take it on board or ignore it & even if they are vulnerable or in a shit place it still might give them food for thought?

I am not sure men are better on forums either.
I think text provides room for misunderstanding, but less for feeling. Also, people have things they are not able to express IRL and the internet can be freeing in that respect but not always for the better.

I would never ask Mumsnetters for advice. There are too many here who enjoy other women's misery.

Sorry. man.
When I first came on here about 12 years ago, I wanted advice in my first marriage. It had been very nice, but since we married, she no longer helped with housework, our sex life stopped, I was having to work long hours as I was the only one in employment, so cleaning in the morning, went to work, picked up stuff for dinner, cooked, cleaned. Meanwhile, she complained about how hard her life was. I was down and depressed enough that my doctor was expressing great concern.

Eventually we went to relationship counseling and once the Scandinavian therapist was used to the anglo-saxon ideas, her advice eventually to my wife was start making a bloody effort and stop being so lazy. Her advice to me was to leave.

The advice I had from MN was that I was an abusive monster. It is easy to laugh now, but it was a hard knock at the time.

🤣🤣

I do wonder if posters mix it up with psychic hotline

Boy or girl?
He walked past a women is he cheating?
Will I get the job?
Should I leave him?

How on earth would we know?

Depends what you engage in - maybe stay off AIBU?

I have had lots of good practical advice from everything from baby sleep & weaning to dealing with stroppy teens!

This 100%.

@lexiebell

Yes unfortunately there are some extremely painful posters on here who demand the op follows their advice and smashes up their lives...

They make my heart sink when I see their comments. However there are also amazing posters who can really help with a problem and I've been helped with legal issues, family issues, many health issues!!

The trick is to try and ignore the dodgy posters but it's hard because they are attention seekers and demand to be heard. But it's better to try ones best to not engage.

Me. I say this, didn't realise there was anything wrong with it 😕

Hmm...I grew up with a mum who used to say 'Oh do be quiet' if I was making a lot of noise or whining 🙈. Again whars wrong with it?

Yes, it's toxic. It's also a waste of my time.
Just the last few days, I was so upset by some posts on a thread I'd created, that I couldn't sleep, and felt distressed for several days.
I'm way too sensitive for it. I should leave. I stay because of some weird addiction/compulsion thing?! 🤷‍♀️
I really must go cold turkey one of these days.

The recent cautionary tales thread has been really useful.

I've got great advice on here about relationships.

I actually think this place is a great place where women in abusive relationships can get a wake up call, advice, and moral support. That is valuable. How many women have escaped domestic violence with the help of Mumsnet? Hundreds or thousands, I would say. Many in abusive relationships are too ashamed to talk to people they know, but willing to talk to strangers.

God bless the vipers of Mumsnet.

There have been threads here supporting women with cancer till the end.
Somewhere to get support and understanding for those with toxic families (stately homes threads).
Support from others struggling with the reality of life with ageing parents.

To name a few. It’s not all about AIBU.

Would you want to see that online support go?

This is the downside. I've created and deleted many accounts over the years for this reason. You have to be pretty thick skinned to create a thread on here.

I never ask for advice on mumsnet. Even in real life I rarely talk to people about my problems. If I really feel like I'd like to talk to someone I will pick a person who I know will be understanding, yet honest and able to give constructive advice.

The only time I see people benefiting from posting here is when clearly abused woman is questioning herself. But even then a poor soul will usually get some toxic responses mixed in with the good ones.

I find it helpful for the little pieces of advice

I stupidly took MN hive minds opinion on ending a relationship, as all the arguments made sense logically. I still regret ending it 2 years later. It was the wrong thing to do emotionally, as the logical stuff was possible to work through.

Cannot stand posters using the phrases
"Gives me the ick" or "get your ducks in a row"
Bleugh

Yes, it should come with a warning - only people with the emotional strength of a rhino should start a thread!
I'm literally one of the most sensitive people on earth, so it was a big mistake!
The thread in question was a completely benign support thread, but somehow the toxic comments came!

And don't for god's sake open your front door. Ever.

MN is amazing for when you need REAL advice from REAL mums. I can Google "Mumsnet how to calm down tantrumming 4 year old" or "mumsnet ideas for cold pack lunch" and get relevant and experienced answers.

Also anytime I have had a falling out with hubby, MN is like my therapy to rationalise my thoughts and calm me down. It works for me. Depends what kind of advice you acknowledge and which you ignore. The useful advice is indeed very useful.

😆