To think Mumsnet is a load of bollocks?

[lexiebell]

What good advice do you ever get from here really? From everyone person that agrees one will say you are the worst (Mum,Wife,Friend) ever ! So judgemental and would love to know the people who are doing the judgement! Telling people to leave a marriage because of some minor upset, its a joke! Get a bloody life ,Life and Marriage isnt easy,we all get annoyed by stuff,but you dont give up cos the mumsnetters tell you ,RUN ,RUN FOR THE HILLS ,if you have good foundations,have some fight and try and make it work,dont forget sometimes the best most fulfilling route is not the easiest,but the best for you and your kids, we only hear one side on here dont forget ! Parenting is hard ,full stop ! Wether a single parent or otherwise( have been both )vulnerable people will be influenced by the sometimes shit advice on here,just please be careful what you dole out

In the auld days it was much nicer. Now any old twunt rocks up with shit advice/trolling/attention seeking etc.

I'm glad I have rl mates. I'd hate to think I relied on mn for my only place for advice or support. It's just so big now. I still enjoy it though I'm just not so trusting.

"Who actually says that even but someone on here" what??

MN is fantastic for employment advice, quite good for advice on specific areas of childrearing, interesting with insights regarding health matters, downright nasty and unhelpful on relationships.

Well that should make them happy then! Nothing else seems to

It's interesting you say that even though no one dare say that they vote tory on any of the election threads. Even the private school parents that don't want VAT added to their school fees say that they will vote Labour regardless!

Great advice? Nope people talk bollocks, what they think should happen. What's actually available irl bears scant resemblance. Please don't take mn or any internet advice as gospel, talk to people who know what they are on about.

It has always been the same. When I joined in the early noughties it was a real Sloane ranger yummy mummy bitch fest. If you weren’t in the in-group forget it.

It’s way more diverse now but you have to be able to handle your arse being handed to you sometimes. You have to take it on balance though. If the majority of people are giving you the same opinion eg. LTB, and you are sensitive to the collective wisdom of that, maybe the problem lies with your life choices rather than strangers on t’internet.

I completely disagree. For absolutely no cost other than my own time, I have had a) some good advice and balanced (and extreme) views on specific topics b) some things that have made me think "I'm going to look into that" notably travel, or best music /films that you have forgotten c) some real laughs at what people do, and the corresponding posts (fighting over the charity shop baby changing bag springs to mind) d) some support that I am not alone with a mum with dementia and e) being able to give someone else my help and advice because they are going through an identical problem, and being thanked for it. Obviously, you get trolls, and some draining and weird posts, but you have to sift. I would say a force for the good - but why be here if you think it is all bollocks? LTB actually makes me laugh.

jeez op calm down, it’s only mumsnet

The site as a whole is great IMO @lexiebell but I do agree with your points about the daft and nonsensical advice some posters give, and how they act like it's soooooooooo easy to just pack up a couple of suitcases, and walk out on a life you've known for 35-40 years. Posters say shit like 'LTB, you are only 61. 61 is YOUNG!' (PMSL!) Then they say 'you can easily find a shiny new life, and retrain for a new career that will pay you £175K a year, and have a gorgeous hot new man 30 years younger than you, and LOADS of new friends, and a fancy city apartment!'

Ridiculous bollocks some people talk. And they dish out crap advice to do shit that they would NEVER do themselves. In reality, most women who are in OK marriages (but not great,) and who dislike their husbands sometimes, are FAR better off staying. Better to stay in comfort and have a nice life with few money worries, than leave and be alone, in a manky little bedsit without a pot to piss in, working 65 hours a week in a shitty dead-end job just to pay your bills!

But there is a lot of good advice on here too, and a lot of cool, nice, kind, and funny posters. AIBU doesn't contain too many of them LOL!

when my dd first moved to the uk one of her dogs left the house and was no where to be found. mn was really valuable as to who to contact and great suggestions.
equally when my grand daughter was born i turned to mn to help with finding schools and learning a tiny bit about the school system available.
then there is great support for people with new pups (which transcends) the fact i'm not in the uk AND the cost of living threads are equally supportive.
oh and the weight loss info is equally great.
style and beauty is fab and so are the property threads!!

YABU it's 80/20 the Pareto rule. 80% of the bollocks on here is caused by 20% of the posters. Likewise, 20% of the posters post interesting, informative or amusing things and you have to sift through the other 80% to find it.

Why do people insist it was the same in the past? I'm sorry but people literally have to put lighthearted in the title now in order to not hopefully get a kicking.

If you're in a shit relationship, people are going to point that out to you.

Your choice.

Aibu can be very harsh and I think many posters are nasty just for kicks but the other boards can be brilliant. I've had lots of good advice on the parenting or relationships board. There are many helpful, compassionate and knowledgeable women on here.

Then they say 'you can easily find a shiny new life, and retrain for a new career that will pay you £175K a year, and have a gorgeous hot new man 30 years younger than you, and LOADS of new friends, and a fancy city apartment!'

Nobody ever says any of that though, do they?

Posts like that, and the op — slagging off and misrepresenting threads where women get honest advice — just come across as if you secretly know that if people could see inside your marriage, they’d be rightly advising you it isn’t healthy.

Lots of people say that where I live.The OP has probably typed as they speak day to day.

Tbh I think the relationship board is probably the most valuable. I doubt anyone just ltb on the say so of mn, but they are validated that they are being mistreated. So so many horrible partners out there.

People are usually saying LTB because the OP has painted their husband/boyfriend as a right bastard. A lot of women know their relationship has shit parts to it, but put up with it for an easier life. They've weighed it up. Still others are staying, delusional, hoping things will get better, but their life would be much improved if they did leave. Its these women that might really benefit from being told (repeatedly) that they should leave.

Constructive is "having or intended to have a useful or beneficial purpose."

And how you tell is by deciding whether the post helps you or not, using a combination of instinct and common sense.

I find it odd that there used to be loads of posts about buggies/pushchairs, I literally can't recall the last time I saw one.

I don't think it's bollocks but I do think it should be taken with a punch of salt. I've seen some great advice here and seen posters being really kind and helpful to posters that are having a rough time. I've seen lots that's made me laugh & even some that have made me cry. I think the phrase that best sums up the relationship board is 'misery loves company '. Also, I work on the theory, 80% of the threads are made up. I just see the site as light entertainment.

They’ve refined that over the years, but it was still brutal back in the day. I’m sorry but it was. I left for years after being rounded on and viciously accused of being a troll even though I was genuinely posting for support. That really knocked me for six. I’m older and more resilient now.

Sorry that happened to you, that's awful. Tbh back in the day I was much more of a lurker, bit intimidating lol.

Without this forum I am certain I wouldn't have survived my divorce (and I do not exaggerate when I say that). The group of amazing women who have become real life friends of 11 years now, as a result of my threads on here, have enriched my life beyond measure. Maybe you need to divorce a narc with a psychopath OW to feel the full benefit 🤷🏻‍♀️