To think that 4/5 year olds should not be learning about d-day deaths?

[UponReflectionLake]

4 year old DS came home from school telling us about how they learned about D-Day, including how many people died, and the fighting. Whilst I agree kids should learn about this I definitely don’t think it should be foundation age children! DS suffers with nightmares and night terrors and already know this is going to cause many of them in the next few weeks. Husband says I’m overreacting, curious to see other mums opinions?

I'm with your husband

I don’t see the issue. Was he shown something particularly gory?

I'm sure it would have been done in an age appropriate way.

Of course they should learn.

It depends a bit on content but it’s not automatically an issue.

It's been everywhere today. What should they have been told? That lots of soldiers went to the beach in France and then came back home again?

Lots of kids that age are interested in:

Castles and knights (fighting and death)
Robin Hood and archery (also fighting and death)

Mostly they don't have much understanding of what it all means.

If it will give your child nightmares for weeks it is worth talking to the school to make them aware, because as they progress through primary there will be lots of topics that might upset them (evacuation, great fire of London etc)

Disagree, any history is great to learn about aslong as it's done appropriately

Sounds like you’ve already decided it’s going to give him nightmares. I’ve forgotten what the word is but try not to inflict your own feelings onto your child.

It's an important part of history, and it will be delivered in an age appropriate way in school, I don't see a problem with this at all

Kids love this stuff. I doubt this will cause night terrors.

I'm sure it was done appropriately, I think it's great and important to teach it to all ages. YABU

Let the school know if your child suffers with nightmares about this sort of thing

You know your son best but my kids learned about stuff like Remembrance Day in Reception, the Fire of London and Florence Nightingale’s work in Year 1.
Does he watch tv content with “battles”? It won’t be unusual for 4 year olds to have watched some Star Wars or Marvel battles with life and death content.

I think that content like this can potentially be shared with 4 year old so long as it is done in an age appropriate way and in my opinion, the parents should be told in case the child is upset afterwards.
We are in Ireland and there is a charity here called Trocaire. They work with poor children/families in poor parts of the world (Africa etc..) At Lent they send around "Trocaire Boxes" to collect money. I picked up a very upset 4 year old one day from creche because the teacher had told them the story of one of the children whose parents were murdered and she was all alone and had no food etc.. He was crying his eyes out as soon as we got in the car over this poor little girl. 4 year olds are very sensitive and death is a big subject. Should be dealt with properly and with parents knowledge.

as long as they didn't show the opening sequences of Saving Private Ryan or similar, it's fine.

YABU

As much as we would like to protect them as long as possible, they need to learn and it's better when it's done slowly instead of hiding truth when they are young.

I grew up in a military town . . . we regularly went past the huge war memorials and I have always known that they contained the names of all the servicemen who died during the war. It never affected me adversely

My own grandmother lost her 1st husband during the war after just a few weeks of marriage and I have always known this.

I think it's best that children grow up learning about these things bit by bit in an age appropriate way. Children learn fragments of information from so many sources, family, school, media, visits to museums etc and they gradually put it together to form the bigger picture

I think it’s a chance to talk about “big things” like death in an appropriate way / keeping everything taboo probably creates more anxiety for them if they feel they won’t get straight answers when something has upset them. There’s loads coming up on the curriculum as people have said that are not sugar coated so if they’re particularly sensitive it’s probably worth going in to chat to teachers and get a heads up. I mean this past Xmas my son came out of his reception class discussing Jesus being nailed to the cross!

Not this again.

Unfortunately, for many people, life is hard, tough and terrible things happen. In fact, they are happening now on a very concerning and obvious scale. Surely it’s your job as a parent to contextualise this, rather than gloss over it or shield your son?

Are you planning on keeping him in cotton wool until he is 16 and having a sit down about death?

Reality is there is loads of death and fighting in materials for children. Just think about the number of books where the lead characters are orphans - so no pesky parents spoiling the adventure. I don't remember anyone being fussed that a guy was nailed to a cross either.

Children understand death differently to adults, they need to learn about these things as children to become successful and resilient adults.

So as suspected, DS is now talking about how soldiers are going to come and attack him, that they get children, and that France is covered in red. The school is already aware of his night terrors, as they discussed the Queen dying in preschool which led to 2 months of nightmares of the Queen coming to get him. I strongly believe 4 year olds are way too imaginative to be taught about this type of detail, maybe about soldiers protect us but that’s about as far as it should go. Thank you for everyone’s replies, I do agree about learning about things as long as it’s age appropriate, and with heads up from school. However it seems this isn’t happening.

Are you sure it isn't your anxiety that worries him? Or does anxiety run in the family? It's not typical for kids that age to get such existential angst.

This comes up all the time.

They're hardly going to be shown videos of men with shell-shock or being shot. It's absolutely okay for them to start learning about this stuff in an age-appropriate way. Children have been learning this stuff in school for decades.

It’s about having a heads up so I can be prepared to discuss it with him, also he has a very active imagination so these things really do scare him. It’s not about me shielding him, as much as I’d love to, however certain things should definitely be discussed with parents first because it’s not appropriate for some children. He’s the youngest of the year also so not on the same level of resilience yet.

This will be something the school has been doing for decades.

I think you need to work on his anxieties, not criticise the school. His behaviour sounds very, very extreme.