To think that 4/5 year olds should not be learning about d-day deaths?

[UponReflectionLake]

4 year old DS came home from school telling us about how they learned about D-Day, including how many people died, and the fighting. Whilst I agree kids should learn about this I definitely don’t think it should be foundation age children! DS suffers with nightmares and night terrors and already know this is going to cause many of them in the next few weeks. Husband says I’m overreacting, curious to see other mums opinions?

I find it hard to believe that most reception children are nt familiar with what a war is

You have no idea what will upset the op’s child she’s already said he struggles with night terrors….

I agree. And you are being VU.

I’m shocked you’re getting so little understanding. I totally agree children don’t need to know about this stuff till they’re older.

When my children grew up they were pad prats . One of them was born when husband was away at Christmas time no family around , it was heart breaking . But I do have to say one of my sons was very taken with the story of Bambi and Peter Pan .
We just had to get on with it as best we can .
Because it will soon be over and then we can get on with it as best we can .

Anyone would think 4 and 5 year olds lived through the War, lost fathers, uncles, whole families.
Oh... wait...

OP, maybe ask MN to edit the title so that it states your child has a diagnosis of anxiety that you are getting treatment for professionally, that he is under CAHMS, and that the school are aware of his particular issues.

Or at least remember to put these things in your first post if you post again.

He suffers with anxiety due to me having an illness that requires hospital appts, blood tests, IV etc every week/fortnight.
You have no problem sharing all that with him n though, even though you know it makes him anxious?

OP and I am in agreement with you. My 6 year old daughter came home upset today saying they watched a video about D-Day and there were men with guns and she was quite upset about it. I think they have their whole lives ahead of them to learn about war and violence, why start so young when it's such a hard concept to grasp

Try to turn it around into nicer thoughts for him. The red part are the fields of beautiful red poppies so maybe get him to draw a field of pretty poppies and look in a gardening book about poppies. Maybe then focus on the insects and animals in the fields.

And the soldiers and men were saving people so turn it around into they are hero’s saving children and mums etc. So they are kind gentle men protecting all of us, especially as we sleep so we only have nice dreams. Something along those lines.

Some good history books from the library might help (read them first so you can plan how to discuss it).

I don't think it's inappropriate for them to teach it but I think what often happens with these things is they are taught it then in the playground the story takes on a life of its own in role play/games! I know when they learnt about Remembrance Day in year R, my son was then playing armies in the playground at break time!

Because some six year olds , some year olds that life too ?Do you think those children should be excluded from that teaching too? These kids shouldn't be taught? These kids be excluded ?

Yes, you're over-reacting. What will you do or say if a grandparent or wlderly relative dies (yes, dies - not 'passes') while your kids are still young? They need to learn about death. And the futility of war.

@UponReflectionLake - Obviously I don't know how your school discussed DDay but if this "as they discussed the Queen dying in preschool which led to 2 months of nightmares of the Queen coming to get him. I strongly believe 4 year olds are way too imaginative to be taught about this type of detail, " is true I think your son is an outlier. How you deal with this for your son in a normal school curriculum - I don't know but I doubt the school talked abut France running in rivers of blood . Why don't you go and see them and see what they presented to his year age. Otherwise the therapy etc sounds good.

Then I’m sorry but she needs to toughen up and it’s probably a sign she’s a little sensitive. She won’t have been shown anything graphic so it’s on you to say ‘yes it was a very sad occasion, now we’re having X for tea tonight’.

Does anyone remember the wonderful CBeebies animation for Remembrance Sunday about 10 years ago, with the rabbit and the bird and the poppies ? That was perfect, and so age appropriate

My son was taught about Viking’s tortururing each other to death in elaborate and frankly sadistic rituals in primary school. Totally disturbed him, hideous and graphic.
people shouldn’t be too quick to assume that the way this information has been delivered to a 4 year old is “appropriate”, it may be that it has been handled really insensitively by the school. Poor little lad op, hope he is ok

Might help : the fact it gets dark, but then gets light again :

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pv_ub7Be7oA&cbrd=1

I got to the hospital all the time, not him. My illness is impossible to hide from him. I also never said I wanted to hide d day or any other events…

Firstly, there is nothing wrong with 4 year olds being taught this. It happened and it’s history.

Secondly I understand and sympathise about the anxiety. My DD is an extreme over thinker and was diagnosed with anxiety at a young age. We still let her learn about everything at school and dealt with any worries.

We found (and I think a previous poster suggested similar) that reassurance alone didn’t work. We had to help her talk and think through her thoughts (even at 4 years old) and then correct/support her assumptions. At an age appropriate age.
So at 4 years old “what do you think they meant by red” “Do you know about poppies meaning remembrance” “what would a field of poppies look like” etc

Then “why do you think the soldiers died” “they wanted to protect their families and families like us many years later. Wasn’t that nice and kind of them. They must have been very nice people” “ maybe they are still watching over us now to make sure we stay safe (if he thinks they are still around in spirits form). Shall we say thank you to them”

We tried to do that straight after school so there was a gap between talking about it and bedtime

We also found a worry doll (that she could tell her worries to) helped and a brave bear (build a bear with a recording that said something like “ I am here to look after you and I love you. We can be brave together”) was something she could cuddle back to sleep. We also put a dream catcher up and told her it would try to stop her bad dreams.

We also tried to talk about something positive just before bedtime. Things like where would you like to go on holiday? What would you like to do in the summer holiday? Shall we go shopping tomorrow and you can choose a treat” etc helped focus the dreams on something positive instead

Shes a teenager now and still has anxiety but it’s completely manageable now and nothing like it was when she was 4-6 years old

Overreacting, best prepare yourself for Easter because they will learn about how Jesus died on the cross. Year 1 they will likely learn about the great fire of London. Just wait until year 3 and they learn about the Egyptians and how mummies were created!
They also will likely watch newsround several times a week, which will definitely cover any conflicts in a child appropriate way.
The really big one is the lockdown drill.

Your child finding it disturbing doesn't necessarily mean that it was taught in an inappropriate way.

Toughen up? Because a little girl found the thought of people killing others upsetting?

I think that's a pretty normal, human reaction...

I agree, I think it's way too young to understand and there's time later.

My uncle died as part of Bomber Command, age 20, when his crew was shot down. I can't ever remember not knowing, children need to know the reality of war, one day some of today's children will be the ones taking the decision as to if the country goes to war & they will also have to decide if they want to join the armed services.