DH wants to Move us all to NZ…

[Notnowbarnaby]

… because he’s had a job offer and he’s increasingly concerned about the threat of war. (We are in the UK).
we have one DS who is just about to start school in September and is currently getting settled into the idea/going to taster sessions.
im not currently working. I was self employed previously. I’ve had a look online and it seems like DH would get the visa for the job offer and we could apply for a NZ Family Visa and try to get residency there once there, but I’m unclear about whether I’d need to work in order to hold that Visa - I’m not against working at all and we agreed I’d pick up my self employed business again when DS goes to school but I don’t think that would be an option under the working requirements there.
DH keeps saying the company would sort it all but I think it’s such a sudden huge decision and I’m worried that he’s just forging ahead with it because of his anxiety about the world situation.
weve never even been to NZ. We don’t know anyone out there, I don’t know anything about it or the schooling system etc.
it’s so far away as well we wouldn’t be able to see friends and family regularly. I’m worried about how DS would adapt.
im not enthusiastic as you can tell but DH thinks it’s a smart move
AIBU to want to dig my feet in about this and say no?!

Guess what, you made the "front page" (so to speak) of the NZ Herald online:

www.nzherald.co.nz/travel/british-mother-asks-for-advice-on-moving-family-to-new-zealand/LXZOODHDGZG5FP3FR6ZU3RSWJ4/

What extreme weather I'm in the South Island and we have the most boring weather you can imagine.

I’ve always thought it was similar to the uk - though I once went in February and the summer was maybe more reliably sunny , not noticeably hotter though, just more predictably blue skies and sun.

Well there’s a plus OP: better journalism! I quite enjoyed that article. It was well structured and I loved the light touch humour that peeped in.

"Better journalism" = writing something almost entirely made up of quotes from mumsnet and illustrating it with a picture of 4 women in swimsuits? That's not what I'd rate as good journalism and rather confirms the 1950s image if everything has to half half clad women in it.

The South Island is colder than the North Island (although they do have cold parts) in winter, but generally hotter in summer. The west coast is very wet, but much of the rest of the Island is dry - nothing like the UK at all. The hottest temperature recorded in NZ - in the 70s - was in the South Island.

No the quotes were well critiqued.

Omg yes. So glad someone else sees this too.. especially about the daily fail. Can't and don't read it anymore because the headlines are spun to brain wash us and yet we laugh at other certain countries (that shall remain nameless) that are told lies by the media when we are in the same situation ourselves.

@Notnowbarnaby how long is the time limit to make this huge decision? I would suggest that you need at least 6 months to think about it.

I have a cousin who lives in NZ. I haven’t seen him in many years. He has missed most weddings, funerals and other family events. His DC have only met their British grandparents a few times, although they keep in regular contact online. His parents went to visit a few times but found the journey very difficult. One sibling saved up to visit and the other has never managed to go. His parents are ageing and becoming more frail. One of them probably won’t survive for much longer and he needs to decide whether he visits to see them for a ‘final time’ or comes for the funeral. He loves his life in NZ, but has admitted to me he wishes he hadn’t moved so far away from family and friends.

I found it bloody freezing in winter and can't do snow. I leave UK in winter to escape weather

Houses do have heating though!

I would absolutely go, NZ is beautiful the UK is a depressing shit hole

They do. I’m not sure where those posters stayed but it wasn’t where I stayed.

I don’t care how beautiful it is, the fact I could be slung out of the country without my children would be a dealbreaker for me.

Only if you divorce - which creates custody issues regardless. Not saying it’s a good outcome but your phrasing was a little OTT.

I don’t agree it’s OTT at all. If I divorce in the UK, I will end up with at least partial custody of my kids and I will eventually be able to live in the same country as my adult children and any grandchildren. In the OP’s situation, even if she manages to stay when her child(ren) is/are young, she will be trapped thousands of miles from her family with the risk of being forced to leave when her child becomes an adult.

The OP is married to a man who wants to impulsively move to the other side of the world because of the risk of the UK being invaded whether she wants to or not. That doesn’t sound like the most stable of marriages to me.

Yes, it is cold in winter - but it's hardly extreme!! What snow, we haven't seen more than a flake or two where I live for years, which is disappointing.

NZ is beautiful. But while I liked the people and the way of life (we were there for three months) I found the lack of deep historical roots unsettling. My mum grew up in a farmhouse mentioned in the Domesday Book, and it didn't have an indoor lavatory until well after the end of WW2. There was a four hole privy instead.

It's a pisstake out of some of the comments here.

This is the dilemma I will face if one or both of my children decide to stay in NZ. I cannot afford to retire in NZ, and I do not have the social support system to ensure that I won't be lonely - having moved here in my late 40s has given me little opportunity to make lifelong friends.

That said, all my 14 year old's friends are all talking about studying abroad and cannot wait to leave. Unlike my generation they know what's out there from social media and all recognise the limitations here in NZ. There just aren't as many opportunities or choices, and while now they are probably basing that on Taylor Swift missing NZ on her world tour, and not being able to get the latest cult makeup, eventually they will realise that this also applies to jobs, homes.......even boyfriends. Many will go to Aussie because it's so easy and a much more favourable wages to cost of living ratio.

Oh I bet the Queenstown skiing resorts are not happy about that

The mountains get snow, although we have a ski field nearby which is looking pretty bare right now. It's extremely cold at the moment however, so there is hope!

Brrr cold I'm currently in Thailand enjoying the heat

You mean deep historical history of white people. Which I guess is….fine if you prefer it to be white people all the way down, but that’s what you’re saying you prefer.

Crikey, that's quite the education gap there. 🥴