DH wants to Move us all to NZ…

[Notnowbarnaby]

… because he’s had a job offer and he’s increasingly concerned about the threat of war. (We are in the UK).
we have one DS who is just about to start school in September and is currently getting settled into the idea/going to taster sessions.
im not currently working. I was self employed previously. I’ve had a look online and it seems like DH would get the visa for the job offer and we could apply for a NZ Family Visa and try to get residency there once there, but I’m unclear about whether I’d need to work in order to hold that Visa - I’m not against working at all and we agreed I’d pick up my self employed business again when DS goes to school but I don’t think that would be an option under the working requirements there.
DH keeps saying the company would sort it all but I think it’s such a sudden huge decision and I’m worried that he’s just forging ahead with it because of his anxiety about the world situation.
weve never even been to NZ. We don’t know anyone out there, I don’t know anything about it or the schooling system etc.
it’s so far away as well we wouldn’t be able to see friends and family regularly. I’m worried about how DS would adapt.
im not enthusiastic as you can tell but DH thinks it’s a smart move
AIBU to want to dig my feet in about this and say no?!

NZ would be seriously affected. In the event of a major nuclear launch, radiation will affect everyone around the world. No importing and exporting, medications not available because most of them are imported, food supplies impacted. NZ might be able to become insular and take care of themselves to some extent for food supplies, but it will be on a what is available basis. NZ would also not be free from invasion by another country that is also less seriously affected but needs resources. No-one gets off well in a nuclear event.

I do realise that no-one gets off lightly, but we are an overproducer when it comes to food so we will be okay there, although obviously medication would be a problem. None of us can really know what would happen, but the general consensus is that this part of the world is the place to be in such an event.

Let's hope that it never happens.

The ability to overproduce food might be compromised, as might the ability to distribute food. Radiation sickness might be worse than being killed in the initial blast. It's naive to think NZ will continue functioning well in the event of nuclear war anywhere. Even if NZ was the safest place to be in the event of a nuclear war, it will receive huge amounts of fallout still. And the water supplies? You might find this study interesting:

THE ENVIRONMENTAL CONSEQUENCES TO NEW ZEALAND
OF NUCLEAR WARFARE IN THE NORTHERN HEMISPHERE https://newzealandecology.org/nzje/1658.pdf

I agree though, let's hope it never happens.

Oh do give it a rest!! We could go on producing "evidence" from sources all night, and you can save yourself the trouble of providing links because I really can't be bothered to read them. I'm not planning on preparing for anything other than a big quake atm.

This has nothing to do with OP's initial enquiry, and you have no more idea than I do what would happen. Whatever does happen I would rather be here than in the UK - so I wish you luck. 😅

No we won’t be. I’m rural nz and poachers are on the increase.

no one is going to line up at a supermarket when it comes down to starvation and best you read up on experiences overseas where horses were let out of paddocks to be driven down and cut up for meat… it’s not polite society.

I'm not in the UK and it is relevant to the OP's original post if that's why her husband wants to move. I find it interesting to read but, if you don't, no big deal. It's easier to not think about it and there's probably no point, because it's not like we have any control over it anyway. What will be, will be.

I will never return to NZ. I don't feel it's a choice anyway. My child has a medical condition and returning would greatly reduce their medication and treatment options, since there is less available there. That is worth considering as you never know what is around the corner medically for any of us. I sure didn't anticipate it.

Truthfully though, that’s an aspect of why the prices are so high .

Oh for goodness sake, the chances of it happening, in our lifetime at least, is so remote. Btw I'm also in rural NZ and there have always been poachers - I haven't heard of any increase in this area, although we are mostly full of dairy cows and crops here.

A thing happened in Covid in NZ where everyone got really smug about being ‘safe’ and ‘keeping the plague out’. I’m sensing that worldview is still prevalent in some sections of NZ society. It wasn’t nice.

@Notnowbarnaby

@FlapJacksy How did he come to have a job offer without this being pre discussed ?

I have been wondering much the same myself. I can understand it more if it's with his current company and he became aware of it internally or if he was talking to headhunters generally and this came up and they passed it by him (this has happened to friends of mine who ended up taking up jobs in various places for a few years.)

If he's gone out and sought a job in NZ under other sorts of scenarios and is just telling you now, I'd be pretty freaked out I didn't know this is where his head was and I'd think it wasn't really a 'what do you think' situation but 'this is what I'm doing, actually.'

There have been many times when nz’s remoteness has fostered a sense of safety. For example they were not bombed in the war. Yes, they lost soldiers fighting for the cause, and yes life was tough. But the war years were not blighted by evacuation or children or bombings.

The fact that nz has a combination of political and physical remoteness ( relatively speaking) while at the same time high living standards is something that will naturally appeal to many. To me that’s fairly axiomatic. I’m not sure why the sour grapes responses round that.

Also make sure the "very very very" good pay relative to whatever he is earning here is contextualised. Does it seem over the odds? Is it a new role or could he speak to the previous incumbent? What does he actually know about this company? How long have they been trying to recruit for the role? It could be that your DH does indeed have a specific niche skill but if not (or not really) I'd be asking many, many more questions about the job too. I'm thinking about various sectors this could be and also wondering why they would need to fly someone over from the UK and pay for a family visa when bluntly there is probably someone in Oz who could do it.

Oh, so we should have welcomed 'the plague' with open arms and let our citizens drop like flies, as they did in the UK? Okay then ........

Grow up.

Looks like we found one of the team of five million 😂😂😂

Yup there it is!

Excellent for you then. But it is happening and our area has certainly seen an increase in poaching, although I do agree with you that poaching has been around for a very long time and isn’t exclusive of rural districts elsewhere.

"Obviously I understand we could be a nuclear target but once that starts no where in the world would be safe or as it was surely due to fallout etc."
I must admit, when you said NZ my thoughts fkew to "On the Beach" by Nevil Shute. https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwii5Pugoc-GAxWNXEEAHSuJAvYQFnoECEYQAQ&url=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FOn_the_Beach_(novel)&usg=AOvVaw1mM8Ybrha-cWtIYKEW9jrP&opi=89978449

But we did totally cock up the covid approach in the uk. I’m not sure why you are wanting to dodge that.

What on earth in what I’ve said has come across like I’m ‘dodging’ anything about the UK?

People tend to do better when there is an internal desire to do the thing eg move to New Zealand because you like things about NZ. Choices for external reasons like the UK might get nuked so why not move to NZ are less successful. It's not that your husband has any particular attachment to NZ - he's never even been here - but he's just running away from the UK. I think he would be even more unhappy here and the next thing is that he'll be wanting you to move to Stewart Island as one of the furthest places in NZ.

The other thing is that work culture is different in NZ. He might well struggle with that. I don't get the impression he is flexible, for example. He shouldn't assume somebody wearing jeans to work is not very smart and very productive for example.

Life is fine in NZ with money. I do have a large detached fully paid for house with central heating and a professional job. I guess you could say the same sort of things about many countries. But I would be looking very hard at that salary package to be sure it will go as far as you think it will.

I live in the countryside. Lots of trees and hills. Big garden -few neighbours - if I don’t listen to the news the world seems a very pleasant place - so much birdsong, wild life passing through. Could you move to a quieter area?

Because rather than allowing credit where credit is due, ( I would that the uk had fared so well in its covid response), you are focused on deriding that success as “smugness.”

I’d be tempted to tell him to crack on with sorting everything out for the move, but you’re not going.
If he’s as paranoid as he sounds I can’t imagine he’s going to last long if he moves to the other end of the earth.
I wouldn’t go, and I don’t think his mental health is good enough to cope with everything involved in migrating to another country. What on earth would you do OP if his mental state disintegrates when you’ve just arrived in NZ?

Of course the houses have heating. Even mine in the winterless north. I sometimes turn it on when it is cold!

We love New Zealand and moved back there to retire after going out 20 years ago.
The the exchange rate then was very favourable to us.
We also had a very generous expat deal, did not pay rent and were given a business class return flight home every year for the whole family.
We could have sent the children to private school (primary) but our local primary was very good.
Housing costs in Auckland are insanely high relative to salaries.
These expat deals generally don't exist anymore and I understand that getting residency is much more difficult these days.
There is a big difference between an immigration decision and a temporary assignment.