To sleep with a 23 year old?

[Possomoppossum]

Given that I am 42,he knows full well how old I am,we met on a dating site where he wanted to meet older women.ok or creepy age gap?

@BernardBlacksBreakfastWine I highly doubt other posters are jealous, that's the part that is the biggest bollocks.

Wanting sex with a woman of 42 is hardly a fetish - now if he was after sex with me (69) that would be a bit yuk and I'd send him packing!

You must be new here. He'd be called all sorts.

You're both adults. Ignore the sex-negative rule-makers and do it.

Well, neither of us can prove that either way. In my opinion, there’s a lot of anger towards a woman who dares to step outside the ‘middle-aged woman’ box in terms of sexual behaviour, and I think that includes a sort of jealousy from those who’d like to do similar but feel judged/limited by societal pressure.

You said that was the ‘biggest bollocks’ though - what’s the other bollocks, if you don’t mind my asking?

So he's 23, you're both in the same "adult phase". It's not really a huge deal.

It looks different say, if he was 17 and you were late thirties. Different life stages but same age gap. V v v different.

It still wouldn't float my boat though!

I went out with a 22-yo when I was 26 and even then felt like we were at different life stages. A lot changes between those ages.

Let alone between age 23 and 42. Not the same stage of life at all!

In what world is 23 and 42 the same life stage? It's really not.

They're both adults, that's it.

No it isn’t creepy, it’s two consenting adults wanting some fun together. Life’s too short.

Ignore the boring pearl-clutches in their echo chambers and go for it!

My flatmate was 24 when he got together with a woman in her forties, divorced, children only a few years younger than him. His mother hit the roof.
But 25 years later they're still married. He wasn't a fetishist with mummy issues, they just fell in love (she was a secretary at his work so hardly a position of power over him either).

Any of us who have tried OLD know that every vaguely attractive woman over 40 is bombarded with offers of no strings sex with 20 somethings. I’m older than the OP and used to get at least one a day telling me they’re into older women. Same with all of my single friends

Zero jealousy or judging others who are happy to want no strings sex with a younger guy but just realistic about exactly what’s on offer. And managing several men of that sort of age, I’ve heard their conversations about MILF’s being up for it.

Im not interested in being a notch on the bedpost for someone young enough to be my son. If others are up for a bit of fun then go in with your eyes open and no expectations.

It does happen of course. But meeting someone organically and falling in love is a different scenario to younger guys trawling dating apps with the wrong age in their profile seeking out older women for fun.

It does abuse me greatly that the answers would be totally different if it was the other way around, and the older man would be branded a predator etc

Because of the patriarchy and our sexist society, despite the disparity in age, this is not a power imbalance.

It does abuse me greatly that the answers would be totally different if it was the other way around, and the older man would be branded a predator etc

Not from me, as I think it's insulting to any 23 year old woman to infantalise them and suggest they're unable to make rational choice with regards to their personal life.

Exactly, my answer wouldn't change either.

I honestly dont see the problem. What difference does it make as long as you are both over 18?

Why does he have to have to have a fetish just because she's in her early 40's?!

Really that’s a very odd thought process, generally most folks think of age appropriateness and stage of life. Do you have any limits, like if your 18 year old daughter was interested in a 70 year old bloke would you say the same? Or it is over 18 and you’ve no limits?

OP is not necessarily his mother´s age. His mother could be 60 / 18 years older than OP...

Anyhow, this would not be my cup of tea. But he is in his mid 20ies and aware of OP´s age. So these are ultimately two adults who are free to do whatever they want. They´re both free to fetishise each other´s (lack of) youth, age, appearance etc.

I personally must however admit that I occasionally can´t help but judge people in these kinds of relationships...

Not for me, I’m 47 and my son is nearly 23. It just seems wrong, cringy and desperate.

I think go for it. I don’t understand why anyone else would have such strong opinions on what other, consenting adults do in their own time.

Really that’s a very odd thought process, generally most folks think of age appropriateness and stage of life

No, most people just aren’t presented with the opportunities to shag someone much older or younger. You’re overthinking it.

@Theweepywillow how is that a weird thought process? Men of 40 were attractive to me at 23 (living independently with a family of my own). Maturity and emotional connection does not have a 3-year span.

So why wouldn't Op and this man have sex if they both consent?

An 18 isn't going to find a 70 year old sexually or romantically appealing unless something has gone wrong and they crave connection from anyone. Most mature adults don't want to date a teenager just out of school with nothing to talk about (except maybe their GCSE results and school disco)

lol but posters have been invited to offer opinions. Most of the people posting probably don’t care that much either

It wouldn’t be for me at 44 even if I was single - not attracted to such young men and I admit I do find the idea and age difference quite creepy - however he’s not under age and if you are both happy with the situation, why not? Just don’t expect anything long term out of it, he’s clearly just looking for sex and to fulfill a fantasy and once he does that he will want to date etc girls of his own age.