To sleep with a 23 year old?

[Possomoppossum]

Given that I am 42,he knows full well how old I am,we met on a dating site where he wanted to meet older women.ok or creepy age gap?

Both individuals are adults, so I don't see anything wrong with it. It's more of a taboo than something creepy.

Besides, it's 2024 – relationships like this have become a trend in Hollywood and are quite normal nowadays. We just have to accept it for what it is.

I can’t and won’t accept men using women for sex, even if the women believe they’re an equal part of the arrangement. You’re quite right it’s being normalised, doesn’t make it right. It seems we’re giving up as a society on the idea that it’s wrong for men to only see women as a fuckable object.

Does it really matter what we think?

For clarification, he's 23, so he's not a "boy." I have friends who were getting married at that age.

At 23, you're entitled to have relationships with whomever you please, regardless of age.

No one should be seen as an object, regardless of their gender. Just as women shouldn't use men as their "toy boys."

However, if it's a mutual decision and they’re both happy, who are we to judge? He's 23 and finds her attractive because she fits his preferences, and she feels the same about him. It's all good, regardless of age.

And where would his ‘preference’ for middle age women come from, do you think? Is it a typical natural preference or is there likely more to it as many have pointed out here? And is it in anyway healthy to encourage men (and yes that sex in particular) to have fleeting sexual encounters based on fetishes? Especially young men who are still maturing in their social outlook around women and sex. Is it right to engage with them and solidify the idea that women can be simply used for their sexual gratification?

And where would his ‘preference’ for middle age women come from

Everyone has unique preferences when it comes to choosing a partner. For instance, if I prefer someone in their 30s who is bald with short legs, that's simply my personal taste.

And is it in anyway healthy to encourage men (and yes that sex in particular) to have fleeting sexual encounters based on fetishes?

There is nothing wrong with men or women having fleeting sexual encounters based on fetishes.

I don't like the word "used" that you keep referring to. In most cases where these relationships develop, I would say they are mutual decisions where both parties are getting something from it.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, when I was in my early 20s, I dated a woman in her 40s. I can assure you, I wasn't "using" her.

If they are both happy with the arrangement then what is the problem? Has it occured to you that the OP might be using him for sex, too? Of course it hasn't, your misandric way of thinking just cannot process the idea.

I forgot to mention that we should absolutely encourage people to explore their sexual fetishes, as it's a healthy practice.

Research supports the idea that exploring sexual fetishes can be healthy when done consensually and safely. Engaging in such activities has been linked to mental health benefits, such as reduced stress and enhanced well-being.

Openly discussing and exploring fetishes with a partner can also lead to increased intimacy and relationship satisfaction.

Individuals who act on their fetishes often report higher levels of sexual satisfaction.

Additionally, embracing one's sexual interests contributes to personal identity and sexual autonomy, enhancing overall life satisfaction.

Well said. 👏

Exactly
Heaven forbid the woman might enjoy it too!

These people are weird aren’t they. Happy to sleep with someone barely even a man and think that actual grown up women, who aren’t trying to relive their youth, are jealous. Boggles the mind.

"The Golden Rule is there is no golden rule" - George Bernard Shaw.

There seem a lot of narrow-minded prudes on here. I told earlier of a relationship with a lady over 40 years younger than me when I was over 60.

Being even older now I can't recall if I said she initiated the relationship. But It started when she saw me lecturing at a University. We spoke for literally seconds, but she then sents me a question about business, though we never met for a few weeks as I was flying off on a lecture tour.

Nor do I recall if I told how it came to be consumated. We exchanged a lot of messages till I was about to fly back home. Then she wrote "I predict you will come out of arrivals at terminal 4, Heathrow next Thursday, meet this Italian girl you don't quite recognise and spend the rest of the day making love. And so it was.

We are still together and she pretty much saved my life recently after I got off another plane, from New York with acute pain and whisked me straight to hospital.

There is no moral to this except the answer to whether a young/old relationship is wise is simple. It depends. She is actually more mature than me in some ways.

People talking about consenting adults, would you be happy with your year 13 18yo child sleeping with another adult 40+ then?

No, l wouldn’t be happy. There are a lot of things adult sons and daughters do in life that parents are not happy about though. It’s a case of respecting decisions of another adult and loosen the apron strings.

And yes, l can’t judge others because l’ve had sex, good sex, with someone much younger. No regrets.

18 is a teenager at a completely different life stage to 42.

As a mid 20s woman, I would have nothing to speak about with a year 13, let alone find them sexually appealing.

But we're not talking about teenagers. As a mid 20s woman, I would happily have a casual relationship with a man 10-15 years older. I'm not a baby who's just finished school and needs you to look out for me, I'm a young adult.

This!

Happy to sleep with someone barely even a man

You become an adult at 18 in this country. He's 23... Therefore he's been a man for 5 years.

I'm talking about the posters saying that consenting+adults is all that matters, that does include teens at college.

Yes but for those with 23 year olds, most don’t act like men and are really immature.

Thank you 👏

@LostTheMarble you reading this?

Well you did tag me in it so yes, I’ve read it. Thing is, I’m my 20s I would have said the same thing. I would have said a lot of things I feel very differently about now with maturity and life experience of being a woman. I’d tell 20 something year old me that having causal sex with a man in any circumstances is a poor life decision and I should have more self respect amongst other things. Hope that answers that for you.

Yes but for those with 23 year olds, most don’t act like men and are really immature.

Without meaning any offense, I suspect these will be coddled middle-class guys. In most parts of the world, twenty three year olds are working men.