Does she owe me the money?

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Hi all,
A few months back me and 2 close friends decided on a theatre show, so friend 1 put the tickets on her card and was paid by friend 2 and I within a week. (Friend 1 also bringing her husband).
The week before I got tonsillitis and my daughter was also ill, so I messaged both 2 days before the event to say I was feeling ropey but messaged friend 2 privately to see if her husband wanted my ticket, no charge (as they’re our best friends, and my fault if she no longer wanted to go with friend 1 and husband). I didn’t hear back from her (turns out she was ill too)
Friend 1 didn’t know this, and for all she knew I’d sold it or gave it away (although yes they would be seated with my friend 1 and husband), but I was then told her sister was there in my place (this was during the show) and friend 2 wasn’t going as also wasn’t well.
It since turns out she gave her sister my ticket..she did send a message “I was going to give you the money for it but I don’t know what to do now”, I think because she gave it away, not told her sister she wanted money for it but she hasn’t said that directly. It was £30, not loads but still, to me it’s wasn’t hers to give away without asking me. She’s now gone quiet on our chat because I know she’s avoiding it.
Also what is bugging me is her sister is notoriously tight, and she’s got something free again (she is a whole other thread).
So, am I owed the money- should friend 1 made it clear the ticket was for sale?
Thanks if you have read this far

But what would have happened if the sister hadn't gone? It sounds like you hadn't made any attempt to sell or return the ticket so presumably you would have paid for a seat that went to waste. At least someone was sitting in it.

If anything I might be more annoyed with friend 2 who didn't tell you she wasn't going leaving you thinking that she was using your ticket.

@Theweepywillow you don’t speak for the whole of mumsnet.
Im obviously not go into the background of the sister, but honestly it’s horrific. Even her 3 kids don’t live with her and chose to live with their dad from a young age.
I also didn’t come on here to ask “am I tight” that was never the question. The question was “am I owed money for my ticket that my friend gave away without asking”

Cringe off

No it’s not. At all.

Are you the grabby sister?

I'd feel pee'd off too OP. It's the fact that she just took the decision out of your hands as to whether you wanted to offer your (paid for) ticket to any of your OWN friends before she gave it to her (tight) sister. It was YOUR ticket to do with as you wanted; she wasn't entitled to make that decision for you.

Maybe you should have been quicker off the mark when you knew you wouldn't be able to attend and done a 'round robin' text message offering the ticket to a bunch of friends, with first one replying positively getting the ticket; then getting in touch with Friend A to say you couldn't go but X/no-one would replace you so feel free to use the ticket for Y.

I think the backstory you've alluded to about their previous tight behaviour has affected your overall view of the situation. You obviously know more than we do about how tight your friend and sister are having been at the brunt end of it previously; maybe this is the final straw that's made you think what you're thinking.

But at the end of the day, do you want to lose a friendship that means a lot to you? As you've already said, you need to dial down on your own generosity towards them both in future so when a similar situation occurs (and it probably will!), you may not feel so hard done by.

You don’t get to speak for all of us. OP has explained herself very well, it has nothing to do with being tight.

You on the other hand seem to be one of those grabby people like the sister who offered not even a token wine bottle or whatever to say thanks.

I once had a friend like that sister. Always made sure to get things for free. I had some friends over for an early dinner/cold buffet stuff mainly but nice food. Everyone were about to leave and I wrapped things up and put in the fridge. She then called her partner who lived a street away and told him to come over as there was food left. He did, and she proceeded to take my food out from the fridge and even got him a plate from my cupboard. 😂 They had money, a nice house etc (who she managed to get friends to renovate and make a wooden dinner table etc for free).

I am a very (too) generous person to friends. But this is just being a cf.

This can also be interpreted as friend 2 gave your ticket to her husband, and friend 2's ticket was given to friend 1's sister.

It was all very last minute and probably confusing for friend 1. You dropped out 2 days beforehand, that's not a lot of time to find someone else, particularly as the other friend dropped out too. Let it go.

@cloudofbats they are huge CFs!😳

The thing is, it was YOUR ticket, and you would be perfectly within your rights to LET THE SEAT STAY EMPTY , rather than let the freeloading sister have it! You're under no obligation to be kind etc, you have a choice!

I've had so many of these exact same issues and my usual go to is that the money is already gone (on my end) and usually long ago, so I just let it go.
I'm always shocked that others don't have the inherent decency to offer a few quid but time has shown they don't and I roll with it. I'm always happier to see a ticket used than wasted.

I wouldn't ask for the money in these circumstances but would think it's great that at least someone got to use the tickets and one of your friends got to go.