Does she owe me the money?

[Sendmeapostcard]

Hi all,
A few months back me and 2 close friends decided on a theatre show, so friend 1 put the tickets on her card and was paid by friend 2 and I within a week. (Friend 1 also bringing her husband).
The week before I got tonsillitis and my daughter was also ill, so I messaged both 2 days before the event to say I was feeling ropey but messaged friend 2 privately to see if her husband wanted my ticket, no charge (as they’re our best friends, and my fault if she no longer wanted to go with friend 1 and husband). I didn’t hear back from her (turns out she was ill too)
Friend 1 didn’t know this, and for all she knew I’d sold it or gave it away (although yes they would be seated with my friend 1 and husband), but I was then told her sister was there in my place (this was during the show) and friend 2 wasn’t going as also wasn’t well.
It since turns out she gave her sister my ticket..she did send a message “I was going to give you the money for it but I don’t know what to do now”, I think because she gave it away, not told her sister she wanted money for it but she hasn’t said that directly. It was £30, not loads but still, to me it’s wasn’t hers to give away without asking me. She’s now gone quiet on our chat because I know she’s avoiding it.
Also what is bugging me is her sister is notoriously tight, and she’s got something free again (she is a whole other thread).
So, am I owed the money- should friend 1 made it clear the ticket was for sale?
Thanks if you have read this far

I've paid more than £30 at the theatre for a much less convoluted plot.

@thistimelastweek obviously watching rubbish shows 💁🏻‍♀️

I wouldnt worry about it. You didn't sell the ticket so the money was lost to you at that point. Whether her sister went or then ticket went in the bin is irrelevant.

Her sister won't pay so I wouldn't push my friend to compensate my loss.

So who missed out on the ticket by her using it? Did you have a buyer lined up? Another friend who had wanted to accept?

@Firawla its not about 39 quid it’s the point of how cheeky to not even offer the cash. I wouldn’t accept the money but the offer would be appreciated.

Her sister was only going to accompany her because you and your other friend were no longer going and because you weren't using your ticket. It would be totally unreasonable of you to ask her to pay the full ticket price for a show she didn't choose to see and quite rude to ask for any money at all. You didn't do her a favour.

Yeah it's the fact sister hasn't even offered, just grabbed herself a freebie

As soon as you pulled out, that ticket was lost money. It would be different if you were the one arraqnging everything, but as it was, your friend organised the evening out and bought the tickets.

You paid her, you couldn't make use of the ticket and nor could the person you offered it to. Rather than have a useless empty seat, she gave it to someone she was happy to have join her and her husband on the night out.

How you feel about her sister, whether or not she's a sponger, all that is irrelevant. The ticket was going unused, and now it wasn't wasted.

If someone asked me if I wanted to go to the theatre because was a spare ticket I would say great, who do I owe? I'd never expect someone else to be out of pocket. It's just courtesy surely?

I think because you messaged Friend 1 explaining you had offered your ticket for free to Friend 2 to take anyone of their choosing - Friend 1 assumed it wouldn’t be a problem if they chose someone who could take it, after finding out Friend 2 couldn’t come. It is right that she should have asked your permission as I would not want someone like Friend 1’s sister benefitting from this generosity when she is tight and stealing money - I think YANBU because it’s the principle

Totally agree - any reasonable person would offer (or insist) to reimburse you.

What's confusing? The friend gave the ticket away without asking op and said friend has now gone awol on the group chat over £30. Pay op the £30!! Why does op have to get over it?? I get it when ppl get funny over 100s of pounds but a £30 ticket... the sister went to the show and they didn't even ask op. Why does all the rudeness of the others get glossed over and op must 'get over it'???

Op, your post wasn't confusing. Your friend gave away your ticket without even asking and her sister got a free show and now they've gone to ground over £30. Ridiculous! They owe you the money. Really can't be asked for glossing over ppls rudness because we need to get over it for the sake of the friendship.. funny how said friend isn't thinking the same.. It's rude , you don't take someone else's paid ticket and do as you please with it.

That was my thinking @Cupcake333333 but most don’t agree with us ….
For me it’s who got the ticket I think. As I said I would be happy to give it to my friends. My friend (friend 1) is also hugely tight and I know if it was the other way around she would have been knocking on my door by now, or at least sent 50 messages about it. I just don’t like drama and didn’t know if I was being unreasonable.

@Sendmeapostcard You're not being unreasonable. You're not the one in any drama. Your mate is. Be secure in how you feel and you don't come across as tight in the slightest. U was kind enough to message your other friend to gift the ticket to her husband. But that's not even the point even if you wanted the money for it. It's your ticket !! You do as you please with it. I hope your mate sees the light. Goodluck op, I hope it gets sorted their end!!

you would have lost the money either way though so I don't know why you're bothered?
At least this way someone got some use out of it.
As pp's have said, sister probably only went because it was free - if she had been willing to pay she would have bought a ticket in the first place.

Also there were 2 seats free - so sister could have been using friend 2's seat, not yours.

@easylikeasundaymorn you’re right, I would have lost the money. But at no point did I say “give the ticket I paid for to whoever you want”.

I know it was mine as it was arranged with her sister before friend 2 said she wasn’t going (to be honest I think that was the nail in the coffin for friend 2 as she doesn’t like the sister either!), but she’s also going through some stuff and just wasn’t up for it.

This is proper tight, I mean it’s as tight as. Let it go op. Really are you going after her for 30 quid for a ticket you couldn’t even used. Imagine causing bad feeling over that rather than being pleased it didn’t go to waste. Bloody hell.

Yeah OP, stop being tight. Next time just throw £30 in the fire and be done with it.

Can't believe people are calling OP tight, but saying nothing about the person having a free night out. OP has said she probably wouldn't have taken anything for ticket, but it's basic manners to OFFER.

She absolutely owes you the money.

I cannot imagine gifting someone a ticket that my friend had paid for and couldn't use, without checking with my friend and offering the money back. Esp as the friend was ill.

I'm surprised so many people think this is ok!

I also couldn't imagine being the person who knows the situation, accepts the free ticket and doesn't insist on paying.

Ticket wasted if no one goes better someone uses it

cheeky of the friend to take her sister and not ask/offer some kind of financial gesture ...but, you couldn't go so the ticket/money was lost to you anways.

if it were me in that situation i would have been happier knowing that the ticket was used and not wasted!

It is not ok to do what she did without discussing it with you first.

It is plain rude. I would feel v peed off. But I cannot stand greed & tightness so if that was the driving factor I’d be even more annoyed.

Just go to the WhatsApp message, press down on it and hit ‘reply privately’ and say so did you get the money then? as a gesture of good will tell her £20 will do’

I agree it’s not worth losing a friend over but at the same time if this friend was reasonable then she won’t mind the question!

Hi friend 1. I haven't received payment from your sister for my ticket yet. Have you given her my account details? I'll message her if you haven't.

Thanks for your input everyone. I won’t be chasing the money, but I won’t be as generous as I normally am (when I visit I always take a box of expensive donuts for example), so stuff like that will stop!