Does she owe me the money?

[Sendmeapostcard]

Hi all,
A few months back me and 2 close friends decided on a theatre show, so friend 1 put the tickets on her card and was paid by friend 2 and I within a week. (Friend 1 also bringing her husband).
The week before I got tonsillitis and my daughter was also ill, so I messaged both 2 days before the event to say I was feeling ropey but messaged friend 2 privately to see if her husband wanted my ticket, no charge (as they’re our best friends, and my fault if she no longer wanted to go with friend 1 and husband). I didn’t hear back from her (turns out she was ill too)
Friend 1 didn’t know this, and for all she knew I’d sold it or gave it away (although yes they would be seated with my friend 1 and husband), but I was then told her sister was there in my place (this was during the show) and friend 2 wasn’t going as also wasn’t well.
It since turns out she gave her sister my ticket..she did send a message “I was going to give you the money for it but I don’t know what to do now”, I think because she gave it away, not told her sister she wanted money for it but she hasn’t said that directly. It was £30, not loads but still, to me it’s wasn’t hers to give away without asking me. She’s now gone quiet on our chat because I know she’s avoiding it.
Also what is bugging me is her sister is notoriously tight, and she’s got something free again (she is a whole other thread).
So, am I owed the money- should friend 1 made it clear the ticket was for sale?
Thanks if you have read this far

This is getting tighter by the moment. 😂

She already threw the money away. It was gone. It’s just a case of someone else picking it up from the fire after she had tossed it in.

Jeez, some people really are tight!

How miserable it must be to live such a petty life.

That’s what I thought, imagine saying I won’t bring donuts any more when I visit. And being so tight over a ticket you couldn’t use. Utterly miserable/

It’s not the money it’s the cheek of them not showing decency!

She wants a bit of consideration in that particular scenario

I honestly don’t see the big deal, but do often feel surprise at how sensitive some people are on here. Quite frankly if I couldn’t use a ticket id be glad it went to good use, not wasted and wouldn’t get all upset I wasn’t asked.

Just go to the WhatsApp message, press down on it and hit ‘reply privately’ and say so did you get the money then? as a gesture of good will tell her £20 will do’

This is crazy talk. Gesture of goodwill 😂

Unless you’re talking about Taylor Swift tickets, no one is clamouring for your resale ticket and you’d be lucky to get a fraction of face value with 48 hours to go. The money you paid for them is dead a gone.

If the sister was interested in going to the concert at £30, she’d have bought a ticket. She wasn’t.

She passed on one of the unused tickets to her sister so the friend could still have a fun and sociable night out. Which, as the only one of the three original people still attending, she deserved.

Imagine how shit you’d feel if both of your mates had to bail on the concert you’d booked for you all?

I am anything but tight.. with friends I’ll give anything. They come round, I’ll do food and they can take any leftovers with them (talking about £30 of food I bought for them), they don’t bring anything to mine, didn’t even get my son any thing for his birthday (because they forgot to go to the cash point), but they came over, ate a load of food and took loads with them, however it’s a 30 year friendship and I let stuff go.
I think (know!) is that I’m peed off because the actual tight people did get something for free, and they didn’t deserve !!
I would have given that ticket to any of my best friends and not given a shit, but I didn’t get the chance, it was given to someone else who really didn’t deserve more free stuff

@CountingCrones again, for the 4th time, she wasn’t one of three people, her husband was also going with her

So in a nutshell @Sendmeapostcard , you weren't going to use the ticket. You were going to lose the money anyway. You were offering the ticket free to anyone friend 2 could find to bring, but you're upset because it went to someone undeserving?

If you had been offering the ticket to specific people, or had been trying to sell it, I'd agree with you. But you were offering it free of charge to your DF2's friends or acquaintances, so this boils down to you not liking DF1's sister.

I’m quite aware her husband was with her, you’ve made that clear.

She booked a night out with her two mates and her husband, not a date night. Company and a laugh in a small group is completely different feel to the event than an intimate night out for two.

It’s not your fault you were ill, but it’s not hers either. Why should her night out have to suffer because you had a stomach bug?

Once again, no one pays full price for a last minute fill-the-gap ticket. Not unless it’s Harry Styles or someone.

You let Friend 1 down by not coming, she sorted it so she still had fun.

Would you have been OK with the sister having Friend 2's ticket whilst yours went unused?

Friend 1 had two spare tickets and only one of them was used. I'm not sure why it was necessarily your ticket given away rather than Friend 2's.

Either way, you had no plan for the ticket and didn't know until after the event that the sister went, so no additional loss to you. You have just been aggrieved that the sister didn't pay for something that was offered to her for free and going to waste anyway.

It would have been nice if the sister had been actively looking for a ticket and insisted on paying, but in that case the money should have been shared between you and Friend 2, no?

@CountingCrones she insisted on booking on her card, it was actually friend 2s idea but friend 1 wanted to get it done, and added on her husband.
But.. done now. I am annoyed she gave away something that wasn’t hers without asking me but I have read and taken in every comment.

So you didn't even message the trip organiser for two days before, didn't make any effort to re-sell the ticket or find anyone to go?

There are very few perks to being the person that organises things, the only thing that might work in your favour is being able to offer someone the chance to come along for free when your friends, who haven't put a second of effort into organising anything, pull out.

The perk to being the one who has things organised for them is not having to give much thought to people pulling out or plans changing.

You are full of "she should have asked..." but really, you should have followed up in some way. There is a reason you didn't say to her "do me a favour, try to find someone to pay full price for my ticket last minute," because that would be CF and ridiculous. It's only hindsight that is making you think it's ok.

If it will help you mentally, think of the sister you don't like having your friends ticket and your seat sitting empty.

Cheeky of your pal to give it to her sister yes, but you were going to give it away in any case so I'd just write it off.

Don't sweat the small stuff in friendships OP- you were ill, it's not that easy just to resell and yes I wouldn't want to go on my own much either

Thanks all x

Cmon. Now, you keep saying you’re not tight, then proving your thought process is absolutely tight as.

@Theweepywillow nope. When I’m wrong I’ll admit it and with my friends and family I’ll give them anything, but didn’t appreciate someone giving away something I’d paid for without asking, and giving it to someone who didn’t deserve something she didn’t pay for

It easy, text her and say it’s fine this time, but if it ever happened again you’d expect her to ask and that her sister really should have offered to buy it.

I was ill the day of a theatre trip booked to go with my sister. She sold my ticket at 50% of face value to a friend and gave me the money.

If you had said to friend "can you see if anyone you know wants to buy my ticket at half price" and she then gave it away free you could expect her to pay you 50% from her own pocket. Given that two of you dropped out and she only used 1 spare ticket that 50% should be shared between you and the other person who dropped out. But given that you offered it for free to her DH it's npt unreasonable for her to use it for her sister instead. Not worth quibbling over.

It was going to waste, her sister took it, leave it at that and move on. If you had told her I've sold it to X and she'll meet you outside to get the ticket and she said ah, I gave it to my sister, that would be different. Let her have it with good grace.

Why did you ask if you’re so convinced you’re right, and not tight, whilst repeatedly posting about how someone used your ticket you couldn’t have used without your permission and now you’re not going to bring bloody donuts . I mean really would,you have said no unless I get the money. How cringe. And all this she didn’t deserve it stuff is so creepy/

but anyway, why ask

you..am I wromg
mumsnet. Oh yes, and tight to boot
you no I’m not.

I wouldn't lose a friend for £30 - I'd probably say 'oh just tell her to buy me a bottle of Villa Maria (or whatever) and we'll call it quits- I hope she enjoyed the show

I wouldn’t risk damaging a friendship over this. You couldn’t go so the money was gone.