Dh said he doesn’t need to remember I’m allergic to penicillin

[Coppery]

yesterday my health got brought up with dh and I said I’m allergic to penicillin. Dh acted all surprised even though I’ve been in hospital before and it’s been brought up several times at various appointments and I feel like he should know by now (together 15 years)

he said he didn’t need to remember one specific drug, doctors will work it out and he can say it’s the one everyone is allergic to. We travel a lot so we’re not always in developed countries either which worries me now.

i said he surely he can just remember it as that’s better. He said he can’t help not being able to remember everything and he won’t be remembering it and that’s that.

Aibu to be pissed off that he apparently won’t bother remembering one drug I’m allergic to?!

Can you imagine the conversation happening with your roles reversed?

I always find that a useful exercise in situations like this.

Get a bracelet...not sure why you didn't years ago....put it on your ice contacts info on phone....and tell him you can no longer retain any information on things important to him from dinner to him not liking itching powder in his pants. He's an uncaring arse.

Did you see the bit about lots of foreign travel?

He’s being a self centred unkind twat. In sickness and in health and all that. Although I’m surprised you haven’t got yourself a bracelet - make it a priority, harder for him to forget when he sees your bracelet on your wrist the whole time. I can’t help but wonder if he really forgot… it seems such a hard thing to forget.

I can't imagine being so disinterested in my own safety that I don't know my own blood type.

Knowing that of your life partner seems pretty standard to me too.

If said life partner wanted me to learn the name of their life threatening allergy in case of an emergency, I'd consider that reasonable and standard, a sign of basic care on my part.

Even with a shit memory I'd at least try. Put it in a note on my phone if necessary, so I could do my best to provide that vital info if god forbid I was ever asked because they could not provide the info themselves.

I find it hard to understand how a relationship like marriage works otherwise.

He is telling you that you aren’t a priority for him. I would listen to that and act accordingly.

How do you find out your blood type? I know mine due to pregnancy but my husband has no idea of his and I don’t know how he’d find out? He’s never even had blood tests.

Well, exactly

He's being deliberately obtuse. Is he normally like that or could he be having a bad day and taking it out on this?

He clearly can and should remember it and personally, I'd wait until it's died down then have a talk about his attitude. You would expect it off a teenage son, not a loving partner.

Even pharmacies ask this!! Insane he doesn’t remember, it’s literally the most asked one!!!

The severity of the reaction is irrelevant. He needs to remember, even if it is a mild allergy. I'm allergic to penicillin, it runs in my family. It's not a severe reaction but it makes me sick and gives me a horrible rash. And when I am ill, the last thing I need is to be made even more ill.

Yes. That is dangerously stupid. My late DH was lactose intolerant - I remembered it all the time and esp when he was in hospital, unable to tell anyone himself and we were 150 miles away from his GP. Your DH needs a kick up the arse for being so irresponsible (and penicillin is not 'the one' everyone is allergic too). Crap partner.

Or a new husband who actually cares about you and whether you live or die! This is not just forgetting you don’t like salad, this could be life or death. He’s an idiot!

He could remember penis for short (selfish dickhead)

Goodness me, if my co-worker who I barely know can remember I’m allergic to nuts because I mentioned it once in passing months ago I’m sure your husband can manage unless he’s got amnesia.

He's a bloke - you're asking to much! My husband doesn't even know where I am half the time..............

Tattoo 🙄

Not RTFT, but you can always put it in the ICE info on your phone?

I am allergic to penicillin, after only one tablet my throat swelled up & it’s like my tongue had been cut a thousand times with a razor blade- couldn’t eat for over a week- also allergic to Septrim, trimethoprim & nitrofuriton- sorry not too sure how to spell that🙄drummed into my DH. Not willing to try penicillin again

Most people actually aren’t though even when they say they are. They just remember being ill when taking antibiotics but that’s why you take them. It’s not very common in reality

Really ? There are no words

This.

Bet he expects her to remember a million far more trivial things because she loves him, and love to many men mean a woman looks after them while they do a little bit and occasionally say something supportive and that’s all they think is needed from them. I was going to say and they bring flowers on her birthday but I think the op said up front he does nothing for her birthday… like the gem he is. I hope she’s thinking carefully about this ‘I will not remember anything about you even if it’s important to you because you are not important to me.’ Man and whether he brings anything at all.

You aren't being unreasonable but it's good to know that he's totally unreliable in terms of making sure you are ok in a crisis. You will need to take whatever steps are necessary to protect yourself without relying on him.

No they don’t. My son is allergic to penicillin, had recently been prescribed antibiotics and I said, did you mention it to your doctor, he said no he hadn’t and of course he’d not been given penicillin, hey ho guess what he had! He’d taken some over a day and started getting much worse, hubby asked him the name and yes he’d been given penicillin.
when he was little I’d always check with the doctor and then I’d ask the chemist too to doubly make sure.
It’s a salutary lesson he’ll never forget.