Family kept illness secret before GCSE’s

[Happyharry2003]

Hi
im just wondering if IBU as my family say I am but they have a history of telling me i overreact.

My daughter is in the middle of her GCSE’s. On Sunday we went to a family party to celebrate her cousins birthday.

Today her sister woke up with a sickness bug.

I have since found out one of the children at the gathering (10 adults and kids in total) went to doctor and hospital friday and Saturday due to being unwell and dehydrated. Subsequently, their whole family came down with a vomiting bug yesterday. Nobody told me anything.

if I had been told anyone was ill I would not have attended with my daughters. The adults at the party were aware how important these exams are to my youngest daughter and chose not to mention the cousins illness prior to us arriving. They only mentioned the cousin being under the weather just as we left.

I am so disappointed that this was kept from me and also that no one thought it important enough to give me the option of not attending due to GCSE’s. I told a family member how sad this has made me feel and how anxious my youngest now is that she might catch this vomiting bug right in the middle of the exams. I was told I was being ridiculous and that she could always resit them another time.

aibu?

Its absolutely awful. You are right!

YANBU!! That's bloody awful and no she can't just resit when she should be focused on the next chapter instead. They're twats.

Disgusting behaviour from your family. Feels like sabotage. Idiots.

Hope your DD stays well and aces her exams.

YANBU you inform people of a sickness bug before socialising with them. It's common sense and common courtesy.
PILs once invited us round for dinner then told us it was the first thing they'd been able to keep down as they'd had it coming out both ends for 2 days. We started that evening.

I don't know if those people are thick or selfish .

Not a bit unreasonable. Your family are utterly selfish. Fingers crossed your daughter doesn’t succumb… hopefully the longer the time since Sunday, the less likely it is

Jesus ! That is awful. Stick your family on the naughty step for a year. That is a massive fuck up on their part.

also anyone who excuses it is just as bad. ‘Just resit GSCEs????

What the fuck! I’d be fuming!

Phew thanks all! Just to clarify the illness didn’t present in the very young child as a sickness bug but as dehydration/temp but even so I would expect to have been given the choice. The fact the rest of them now have sickness, dehydration and temps suggests it’s all the same thing.

That is appalling not telling you, op. How can they this is acceptable? They possibly just didn't think, but still...

I would definitely be speaking to those family members about it, even if your DD (hopefully) stays well.

Good luck to her for the exams. 🙏🏻🤞🏻

This is the sort of thing my sister does, I don’t see her very much as a result. I can’t trust her

I was told I was being ridiculous and that she could always resit them another time.

What a shocking attitude to your child's education. Resitting is a pain - you can't just resit at a time to suit you! Your daughter has presumably prepared for exams being this week. She won't want to have to redo all that preparation.

I had a friend who used to do things like this, she is not a friend anymore. Extremely thoughtless.

We had an invite to a family birthday. (In Laws, so I usually make an effort to be polite). I am immunosuppressed. They know this. My illness already causes a degree of pain, fatigue and disability. They know this too.
About halfway through the meal someone mentioned that they had all been ill with D&V and the couple who just arrived had been hospitalised.
They are still sulking because we left.

Generally you become dehydrated through vomiting....not just feeling under the weather.
What caused the dehydration?

She can’t resit the exams.

If she misses a paper due to illness then they will use the papers she has sat to calculate her grade.

You have been very badly treated I think.

That was really bad behaviour concealing illness. And really selfish of them.

YANBU! Shocking behaviour.

I have everything crossed your DD is ok

Thank you all. All I’m getting back from them is that they didn’t think they needed to tell me about the ill child as she wasn’t being sick at the time and I’m making a fuss about GCSE’s. I’ve made it very clear why it’s unreasonable and why but need to just ignore them now and deal with that later. School have been very good already with advice what to do if she catches the bug. Even if she doesn’t, it will affect her as she’s so paranoid about being sick (she has asd anxiety based). Thanks for keeping me sane - I was beginning to think I’d lost the plot after being told how unreasonable I am being!

You are absolutely not being unreasonable!

You’re absolutely not overreacting, they are selfish and stupid.
Keeping everything crossed your DD is ok for her exams.

After the exams though, think about what has happened and why you are asking for back up here, they are messing with your head and making you doubt yourself. When they were 100% wrong and thoughtless to do this to your daughter.

I best this isn’t the first time either.

Stop doubting yourself and step away from them if you need to.

Sorry, but I think URBU. I wouldn't have thought to tell you that my child was ill if they weren't vomiting or high temp or anything obvious. Especially if they'd been to doctor and hospital and discharged. A bit of dehydration without vomiting wouldn't strike me as anything to worry about. On the other hand, my daughter is doing GCSEs now too and we've stopped all family visits etc so that she can concentrate on them. I hope you DD doesn't catch the bug

This is awful, you are ABSOLUTELY not BU. To be honest even without the pressure of GCSEs I would rather people were honest and upfront about sickness bugs, but KNOWING that your DD was sitting her exams 😱

If you haven't already, invest in plenty of disinfectant and anti-bac wipes, clean everything your sick DD touches and keep the two of them away from each other as reasonably possible until you are all in the clear.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I hope you can be strong for your DD. All the best for her exams

😊 ah you’ve got it! Totally not the first time I’ve been made to doubt myself like this re family but it’s always been directed towards me about me. This is the first time it’s included one of my daughters so it’s why I’m totally going to reconsider everything with them now - well after the exams as they’re the priority! Thank you!

She may also be able to sit them in isolation, depending on how ill she feels. We've done that before.