Family kept illness secret before GCSE’s

[Happyharry2003]

Hi
im just wondering if IBU as my family say I am but they have a history of telling me i overreact.

My daughter is in the middle of her GCSE’s. On Sunday we went to a family party to celebrate her cousins birthday.

Today her sister woke up with a sickness bug.

I have since found out one of the children at the gathering (10 adults and kids in total) went to doctor and hospital friday and Saturday due to being unwell and dehydrated. Subsequently, their whole family came down with a vomiting bug yesterday. Nobody told me anything.

if I had been told anyone was ill I would not have attended with my daughters. The adults at the party were aware how important these exams are to my youngest daughter and chose not to mention the cousins illness prior to us arriving. They only mentioned the cousin being under the weather just as we left.

I am so disappointed that this was kept from me and also that no one thought it important enough to give me the option of not attending due to GCSE’s. I told a family member how sad this has made me feel and how anxious my youngest now is that she might catch this vomiting bug right in the middle of the exams. I was told I was being ridiculous and that she could always resit them another time.

aibu?

Op I'm so glad the school are helping and are being supportive!!! I hope the dc are feeling better. Still must be stressful for you all but I'm glad you're getting a letter as well for the examination board. As for your family, I'm actually outraged on your behalf that youre getting messages asking for you not to make them feel guilty.. where's the messages of concern for you and the kids??? Since covid we have all become alot more open eyed about not seeing others when we are ill, and exam or not you should absolutely tell others if you have been unwell. A reasonable person accepts this. But to gaslight you on top and to belittle you just makes me so mad. Wishing the kids a speedy recovery and all the best in the exams. We too will be waiting for gcse results this year, wishing all the best for all the kids out there getting their results.

Add to your list of people affected the teachers invigilating her isolation exams and their families, all their other classes they then don't teach when they are sick etc. They are almost guaranteed to catch it and because it's just one pupil and invigilator they are usually in quite a small room.
We have a rota for this and dread being called for it. It has to be a different member of staff each day because by day two the first member of staff has usually come down with it themselves. Then the day 2 staff member, and so on!

This makes me so angry!! So selfish and irresponsible of your family. Your poor daughter worrying about it, as if she needs that when she’s in the middle of her exams! That’s worrying enough as it is.

Sadly, I don’t think it’s uncommon though. I have 3 boys aged 7 and under, and so many times now we have met with certain family members to be told when we’re altogether that, “child A was sick last night!” Or, MIL will come over and casually say that she’d been at SIL’s yesterday and “child A/B/C was so unwell yesterday when I was there with a tummy bug”. It makes me so cross! I’m the opposite, I’ll tell whoever I may have made plans with that I coughed once at 11pm last night and sneezed at breakfast today, so would understand if they went to rearrange 🤣

What a shame OP. I feel so sorry for her having to do exams feeling so rotten. Hopefully she will get the grades she is predicted with the school/GP support and this will absolutely build her resilience.

Well done all of you, you're doing great. What a week! It will be over soon💐

Your family......honestly

YANBU at all. I also have a child doing exams at the moment and I’d have been livid if they knew about illness and didn’t tell me given it’s such a crucial period. It is so incredibly selfish and inconsiderate.

YANBU

Id be so upset too x

My daughter is currently doing her GCSEs x these need to go well as she wants to study medicine x

I hope that you don't get ill x

It’s bonkers that no one told you
crap move on their part

Good luck to your dc. We’ve got this!!

I’m tired but getting quite emotional reading these. We don’t know each other - just writing on a forum but the support and care has just made me have faith in humans today. So thank you all for taking the time to reply. All quiet here, everyone asleep so I’m off for an early night. Good luck to all the GCSE’ students - no matter what results they get, even sitting them and managing the stress deserves a 9 in itself! (Parents too!!)

Oh OP, I hadn’t seen your updates before I wrote my response. I’m so sorry that your DDs both got the bug, especially your daughter sitting her GCSEs! Just so unfair; great that she could still sit her exams, but absolutely not what you want to be doing when you’re feeling horrendous with a bug. Bless her heart, I’m sure she will have done brilliantly regardless.

I am so sorry that you have had messages from family asking you to not make them feel guilty - are they ok?! That is disgusting! I would absolutely be distancing myself from them, terrible behaviour!

No. That’s really, really shitty of them. I’d be so angry.

Pun unintended 🥴

Thoroughly irresponsible. And as for resitting the exams, ridiculous! Supposing her place at 6th Form depends on them? Some people really do need a good slap.

This really is unforgivable. To not have considered the potential consequences initially is so selfish and smacks of putting their wish to attend above everyone else's health. My child is in the middle of GCSEs and I can totally understand your devastation. I hope your daughter is feeling better soon x

Wouldn’t have gone to a family party during GCSEs

I would be furious! I would always let anyone know if there was illness,and cancel the event. How stressful for you!

They should feel fucking guilty. Pricks. You can bet money that if she does well they'll all say see you were overeating. They clearly do not care about you or your family.

Oh OP I’m so sorry. When you first posted this thread the other day I was so angry on your behalf I read it out to my husband and asked “can you believe this?!”. Have just seen your update and am furious for you and your DD. Well done to you and her school for getting special measures in place and well done to your DD for sitting the exam when feeling poorly. This is the kind of thing I would never forget even if eventually I could forgive. People are so selfish :(

She is a superstar!
If she ever doubts herself in life, remind her of how brave and strong she has been today!

This happened to us during COVID and our son ended up in hospital. We still don't speak to some family now. No apology or acknowledgement. And has caused family divide but we don't regret our boundaries. You put up with so much but when it happens to your children it changes things. Look after you and your family. Hope she gets through her exams okay and glad the school are supportive xx

Massive well done to your dd.

Well done to you and your h too for keeping dd calm, communicating with the school, seeing the GP for a sick note, and keeping going!

I hope your dd feels better soon, and aces her exams!!

You have every right to be absolutely furious. Selfish bastards. Hope you don't all get it.

YANBU! I can’t believe the Cheeky..!

I'm so cross on your behalf, such selfish behaviour from your family. Sending positive vibes for the rest of the exams for your DD.

Oh OP, I would be livid. This would really affect my relationship with them going forward to be honest.

I am sooo annoyed if anyone knowingly puts me or family at risk of catching something as it's so selfish. Everyone now warns me, even if they just have a sniffle which I really don't care about! But I have had some friends that roll their eyes if I say I don't want to see them due to infections, sickness bugs etc. they're not really my friends anymore!

I can't believe they'd not warn you knowing your daughter had exams.

To those that think you shouldn't have even gone, that's just ridiculous. My two are doing their GCSEs at the moment and they go on for weeks. Our family social life has continued, I haven't even thought about them getting poorly. I would 100% expect my friends and family to tell me if they were poorly before seeing us.

I'm so sorry your family have caused you this stress and I hope your daughter still manages to do as expected xx