Family kept illness secret before GCSE’s

[Happyharry2003]

Hi
im just wondering if IBU as my family say I am but they have a history of telling me i overreact.

My daughter is in the middle of her GCSE’s. On Sunday we went to a family party to celebrate her cousins birthday.

Today her sister woke up with a sickness bug.

I have since found out one of the children at the gathering (10 adults and kids in total) went to doctor and hospital friday and Saturday due to being unwell and dehydrated. Subsequently, their whole family came down with a vomiting bug yesterday. Nobody told me anything.

if I had been told anyone was ill I would not have attended with my daughters. The adults at the party were aware how important these exams are to my youngest daughter and chose not to mention the cousins illness prior to us arriving. They only mentioned the cousin being under the weather just as we left.

I am so disappointed that this was kept from me and also that no one thought it important enough to give me the option of not attending due to GCSE’s. I told a family member how sad this has made me feel and how anxious my youngest now is that she might catch this vomiting bug right in the middle of the exams. I was told I was being ridiculous and that she could always resit them another time.

aibu?

No! They were ill. They had the bug. They needed to warn the others and give ppl the option of not mixing with you, exams or not. Op has since posted to say dc has the bug now.

9am tomorrow and then again in the afternoon. The a level choice ones. Have emailed school but doubt anyone will reply at this time. Will be ready to drive over first thing to speak to someone

@Happyharry2003 that is ridiculous!! no one in their right mind would take their children their if they were sitting serious exams at the moment.

do you mean I am ridiculous for going to the gathering? It was literally lunch with family to celebrate a birthday. In hindsight I wish I’d not gone and would not have thought twice if I’d know there was anyone unwell

YANBU
I can’t believe they would be so irresponsible!

I am so sorry your family have been so selfish.
Put your energy to your daughter and I think I would be a bit distant with relevant family for a while...
Good luck and all the best for her.

thank you so much ☺️

Are you sure she has the bug? Or might it be due to anxiety of having the bug iyswim? Either way I'm so sorry for your dd, last thing she needs right now 😪

I’m so sorry that your dd has caught the bug. Your family were completely out of order to bring a sick child to a family gathering at all, but the least they could do is let you know so that you could choose for yourselves. Your poor dd, after all her hard work.

Im sure you will be fully supported by the school.

See in the morning if she can do it in isolation. We had someone do that. They had a sick bucket but managed to do the exam in an office. She may be able to do it by 9am. Better than not doing it at all.

I agree with this 100 %

How is your DD today OP?

Ah thanks for asking. She did her exam this morning in isolation with a sick bucket. Completed it. We then brought her home and she slept and went back in for the same again this pm. Have to say school were amazing - on phone to us a 11pm last night sorting things.

she’s back in tomorrow morning and Friday pm under same isolation conditions with one of us off work to collect straight after to avoid any cross student contamination. I have to say it’s all been incredible well organised.

had a gp online appt lunchtime and they’ve written and special circumstances form for the exam board.

orher daughter is still being sick periodically so just hoping we can get to the end of this week ok.

Thank you so much for asking

i would be absolutely livid. I am normally level headed and even tempered when i post on mumsnet but this is unforgivable. Your children would have presumably invested a huge amount of time and effort studying for very important exams and you don't easily get second chances with them.
Sorry this would send me apoplectic.

That would change my relationship with them forever. I💯 feel for you and your daughters especially with GCSE’S. unforgivable. Good luck to you daughter ❤️

Yep. I’m just digging my head in the sand about it all atm and trying to get her through this. I will think about the rest and get angry later! When I add up the number of people affected by this - 2 x set of work colleagues, school staff, friends (my other daughters best friend now has it), English tutor I’ve had to cancel, taxis it is just unbelievable.

It will. It’s very sad. I’ve had a couple of messages today asking not to make them feel guilty. I’m afraid I’ve just ignored them for now as I don’t have the energy to deal with it all

They damn well SHOULD feel guilty, @Happyharry2003 - your poor dd having to sit exams whilst feeling ill!

I hope that she feels better soon, and that the rest of her exams go well.

Whatever is “inflicted” to one of the parent will inevitably be to the children at some point.

I agree, you should just not go to any event when you and your daughters care about something important in your life. They clearly won’t respect this boundary.

good luck 💪🏼🌺

Terrible not to have told you OP, unforgivable

Rooting for your daughter, you sound like a lovely mum

The absolute fuckers.

Sorry to hear she caught it. A family member did this to us on Christmas Eve! Got to the family gathering, their DD was sick all over the floor within about an hour of us arriving. They then told us their DD had been ill for a couple of days. No apologies. No explanation. They just decided to attend and not tell anyone.
Our DC came down with it Boxing Day, we were supposed to be on holiday (which family member knew about). Obviously we couldn’t go.
Still no apology from family member! Some people are so selfish!

I read your thread yesterday. Gutted for you and your daughter that she's got it.
Wishing her better quickly and loads of luck in her exams.
As for your family- when you've got the energy and the space I'd be giving it to them with both barrels. They have behaved appallingly.
Big hug OP.

@Happyharry2003 you’re not making them feel guilty.
If they do feel guilty it’s because they know their behaviour has been so selfish.

My heart goes out to you and your DD, OP. My DS is sitting GCSEs and his autism makes him anxious enough without any external factors.

Those messages asking you not to "make them" feel guilty... unbelievable. You didn't "make them" anything. THEY MADE YOUR DD SICK in the middle of GCSEs because of their thoughtless selfishness. The least they could do is grovel in apology!!

Comedy option: find out their next vacation date. Show up two days before to visit/drop something by. Then text them 12 hours later saying you've come down with bubonic plague and it's highly contagious, but don't message you back...because you don't want to be made to feel guilty!!