To choose to work school friendly hours?

[Niliu]

I will soon need to make a big decision about role at work- either way will be a senior position.
I can choose to do school hours (9.30am-3pm) 4 days a week at £60k, or work FT for £100k.

In the latter role I'm also more likely to be able to expand the role and have £10k rises quickly, whilst in the former school hours role my pay won't see any major leaps and I would have to take on more hours to get any more money- there's also a chance I could get 'stuck' in this role.

I feel annoyed at myself contributing to the female 'pay gap' by taking the lower paying role and I love the idea of being able to afford a a bigger house and better holidays. However my kids are still only little (5&3) and I feel they will benefit from my time.

If it's relevant husband works 30 hours week hybrid job at £35k. He is an equal parent.
Actual content of role is fairly similar so no differentiating factors there either.

Help me decide!

When you said full time what are those hours and with what commute? Will you be expected to do evenings and weekends too? Also 40k difference is a huge amount, but after tax is the difference as big?

For me personally I would go for school hours, being a mum is more fulfilling for me than working. My kids are now late teens and I am still in a school hours job at a much lower wage. My quality of life is great and I am so pleased I did it - I will have no regrets on my deathbed.
It’s a personal decision- you may well feel much more fulfilled working full time.

I went for the school hours option and have never regretted it.

Have you worked out how much you'll get taxed on each?

I guess it depends what you value more: the money or the time! Don’t worry about contributing to the pay gap, it’s what’s right for you!

Do you like your job?

Can your DH currently do pick ups and drop offs if he’s working 30 hours? What’s your commute like?

£40k extra is a lot for what, 10 ish more hours a week? What difference would the money make - more clubs, another holiday, more days out, less stress, more ability to save up for DC uni days?

I too do a school hours job. Poor pay though. Your school hours job sounds like a dream to me!

Is it WFH or is there a commute? If you go for FT what will you do for childcare?

Personally I would always choose school-hours when they are this little. It is a pleasure worth £££ to be there when they get home from school. When they are small and go to bed early, you miss a lot when you work FT. You have a lifetime to climb the greasy pole.

School hours they are tiny.

I think many women would love a school hours job which paid that much. I’d take it and run! Great pay and priceless time with your children. You can not get that time back. No one ever wished they spent more time at work in the evenings. Sounds like you have the best of both!

I’d take the full time role if the hours weren’t silly.

It’s a lot of extra money to lose. If you wanted someone at home for the kids your husband could literally give up work and you’d still be better off.

9-5 , commute is effectively the same as it would be the same organisation though maybe more focus on different bases - only 20-30 mins

100k job is ~£1300 more a month but would likely rapidly rise

I’d love to have a school hours job that paid that salary 😳😳

What is the job??

With the age of your kids I’d go for school hours for now.

Do you need the extra money? How much extra would you spend on childcare?

Honestly I’d go time with kids, they grow so fast and money only gets you so much in life.

I'd go with the school hours, they are so little and I think I'd rather look back on the time we spent together than the time we missed because I wasn't home until almost bedtime.

I did school hours until they were around 13. Loved it. Now work f/t from home so still am around if needed. They are all becoming grown ups and it went so fast. I earn (and would always have earned less than you) and haven't regretted it
The thing about a full on full time job is that you are also knackered in the weekend so you miss out school stuff but also enjoying t weekend. And when do you do you stuff? Having that is so important as they get older. And you a a couple. Something has to give and you are surely have enough money to have a half decent life

I like my job but it's not my calling in life iyswim

DH could do most pick up and drop offs and with a bit of after school club can make it work. I'd feel a bit guilty though it all being on him.

I think the biggest thing in my head that the money could buy is a bigger house. We aren't really ones for luxury things but we are neck deep in toys at the moment and would love to have a playroom and nice space for the kids to have friends around. However I'm not sure how much really that balances against me not being there to go to the park with after school and have tea with etc.

Are you reasonably happy with your current house? Do the kids have their own rooms currently? Do you have a garden? If yes and a bigger house is the main thing the money would buy, I’d be inclined to do the school friendly hours. But we choose to live in a 2 bed terrace so we have lots of leeway and more spare cash for trips, which I realise isn’t for everyone!

My DP does 30 hours and I’m full time, though I WFH a lot, start at 6am and am quite good at getting my work done. I absolutely love having no stress, lots of flexibility and quality time together! We’re due our first in October and it’s just the perfect set up, so chilled. Getting in late and tired everyday would be a real reduction in quality of life for me.

Have you spoken to your DH about it? What does he say?

Kindly, maybe wait to see what your working arrangement feels like when you actually have children! Given I've just got my 3yo back to bed it wouldn't feel very chilled for me to be starting my work day in 90 minutes time!

DH will support whatever I want to do

I feel annoyed at myself contributing to the female 'pay gap' by taking the lower paying role and I love the idea of being able to afford a a bigger house and better holidays. However my kids are still only little (5&3) and I feel they will benefit from my time.

I think your first priority should be the kids you chose to create, not the sex you happened to be born into. Of course they’ll benefit from your time, and spending time with your children during the only childhoods they’ll ever have is more important than a bigger house and better holidays.

I don’t agree with pp saying to work school hours on the basis that your kids are young.

You also have a DH who you say is an equal parent. I think the key point is how much, working as a team, you can be around for the DC. It doesn’t have to be you as their mother.

FWIW I’ve been part time since having DC1 and it has had a huge impact on me professionally and my sense of fulfilment at work.

The old trope that on their death bed no-one regrets not spending more time at work is too simplistic. Plenty of people regret not having achieved their potential professionally.

One other thought, being around after school in years 7-8 is also really important ime, the transition to secondary school is emotionally demanding.

Also, if you FT hours would genuinely be 9-5 with a 30 minute commute you’ll be home by 5:30 ish?

You’ll be around for your DC in the evening anyway.

Always a personal choice - I worked FT after DD2 and yes less time after school etc yet salary accelerated in a way that has given us a financial buffer etc

Keep in mind that although the difference between £60k to £100k may show nicely in your pay packet, you start to lose your tax allowance above £100k and then additional rate tax comes along later - so an additional £10k above £100 doesn’t have the same impact

School hours definitely.
I have been on school hours for almost 5 years now and the quality of life is so much better. I have far less stress and time for myself and I'm not constantly rushing from one place to the other.

I've already decided that I will never go back to full time working even when my kids are older. I think 30 hours per week is perfect for maintaing a good work life balance.

Yes we don't have the dream house or extravagant holidays but even on 30 hours I am earning 40k and we are in a good position where we can afford all of the necessities without any worries.

In my opinion time with children and time for yourself are worth far more than money.

I think @Donotgogentle makes some excellent points.

In your position I would definitely explore more where the two roles might take you from a career perspective, and what might fulfil you more in the long term. There are no right or wrong answers here, just what you feel in your gut.

In terms of kids, of course it's always nice to spend time with them. But they also have a dad working shorter than standard hours who can support. And it sounds like the full time role gets you home for a decent time each day evening anyway.

Another question to ask yourself is what does each job "look like" for you and a family on a day to day basis? How does the routine work? This might help your decision. And again it's no right or wrong answers.

For example if you want your kids to have play dates a lot you'd want to be at home vs if your kids do lots of activities after school you might not see them as much anyway. If I was going to give up career capital to spend time with my kids I'd want to actually spend time with them rather than sitting in a car while they do choir at school! Equally when your husband is around will factor into this-you're better to spread your being about for the kids between you if you can.

Also if you were to take the school hours job you need to try and not pick up all the kid/household work by merit of being more part time than him-otherwise you'll end up having that kind of stuff eat into time you wanted to spend with your kids. Alternative is you take the full time job and outsource chunks of what you can. But it's really about preference.

Another consideration is flexibility. We have a lot of school events in the day, assemblies etc. Will the school hours job still offer flexibility? I actually find working full time it's easier to come in later/go early to accommodate than some of my part time colleagues as they have a much shorter window to get their work done. But this is very job dependent.

Finally how organised are you and DH? Working full time necessitates a level of togetherness to keep everything spinning smoothly once DC are at school.

Apologies this post is so long just wanted to offer some different points of view/considerations. We are all biased here by our own experiences and there are no right or wrong answers, I hope you get to the best decision for you and your family