To choose to work school friendly hours?

[Niliu]

I will soon need to make a big decision about role at work- either way will be a senior position.
I can choose to do school hours (9.30am-3pm) 4 days a week at £60k, or work FT for £100k.

In the latter role I'm also more likely to be able to expand the role and have £10k rises quickly, whilst in the former school hours role my pay won't see any major leaps and I would have to take on more hours to get any more money- there's also a chance I could get 'stuck' in this role.

I feel annoyed at myself contributing to the female 'pay gap' by taking the lower paying role and I love the idea of being able to afford a a bigger house and better holidays. However my kids are still only little (5&3) and I feel they will benefit from my time.

If it's relevant husband works 30 hours week hybrid job at £35k. He is an equal parent.
Actual content of role is fairly similar so no differentiating factors there either.

Help me decide!

If it was me, I would do the full time role.

I do a short WFH day once a week around school hours and honestly I don't feel it's particularly quality time with the kids after school. I had visions of lovely times at the park and things but really it's pretty much feeding the kids and taking them to an activity. I would hate that to be every day!

In contrast the days they go to after school club feel a lot more chilled and they both love having extra time playing there and have made good friends in other year groups

With the big salary boost, you could have a lovely life and spend it on things to enhance your family time -

You could take some unpaid parental leave every year and have more time with your kids in the school holidays - a week or two every year perhaps

You could get an after school nanny so the kids could do their extra curriculars after school leaving weekends clear - I can tell you that taking your kids to their swimming lessons isn't particularly quality time

You could get a cleaner potentially even twice a week and get them to do some extra things like laundry

Your DH could potentially drop hours a little more so you only needed 3 days of after school care

I'd do the full time without hesitation 🤷‍♀️.
Not much difference really in hours and you have a partner to help.

Are they with the same organisation? I’d be wanting to know what the culture / values of the organisation are. How do they respond to sick kids, school sports days. Is there any flexibility in hours? Eg in the holidays if you took 9:30 - 3 could you work your hours over 4 days?

You need to consider what is most important to you and go for it. Don’t worry about gender pay gaps (isn’t that about women often being paid less for the same
jobs / female dominated industries paying less) and don’t worry about what anyone else thinks

I worked four days a week in a senior role and I essentially found I was doing full time work squeezed into fewer hours and for less money. So I went full time when my youngest DS turned two. No regrets. My 6 year old does clubs - French, art, athletics and loves after school club when she gets to play outside with her mates. I still pick her up at 3.30 on Fridays and we do between 4.30 and 5.30 on other days depending on the club. I feel slightly guilty about DS at full time nursery but he’s a happy and confident little chap.

Are the roles flexible location wise or start time?
Can you do compressed hours, 9 day fortnight or earlier start so earlier finishes?

I earn more then my DH so he works 4 days a week and I work 5. We will be using after school club 2 days a week then 2 days a week take in turns for early start early finish. It works for us as we mostly wfh always do our hours and his job at least once a week involves something after 7pm so I do solo bedtime these nights.

I don't feel like I'm missing out as I use flexi to pick the kids up once a week and we eat dinner together every night. You do have to be organised though and dinner is a slow cooker or 10 min air fryer with salads etc.

What hours does DH work?

Oh, OK. Thanks for the condescension. Not sure how that makes any difference to me valuing free time and flexibility - which I wasn’t suggesting you had to do anyway 😕 Good luck whatever you choose!

I would do the full-time role no hesitation. But then I have always worked full-time and so has my husband and it has worked well for our children. Yes a bit of juggling but overall we found we made it work. I agree with others saying that in senior roles you often end up full time hours even when contracted to less. Also you have career progression in one. And if your DH is only doing 30 hours surely he will be around for the kids.

For me, 9.30-3 30 sounds incredibly stressful. Getting in after everyone else in the morning and leaving before them in the evening just feels like a recipe for always playing catch up. It depends on the role obviously maybe it wouldn't be an issue.

I am part time but not that part time. 32 hours a week, 3 short days, 2 full days. Share the school run with DH equally and get wrap around care for just 2 days.

With DH around for the kids I would do the full time role.

I think the stress comes from working full time, collecting tired kids from childcare and trying to cram in dinner/homework/reading/down time, etc. But if your partner is home to do that side then you will still get quality time with them when you get home.

The school hours are gold dust when it comes to that level of salary. I'd jump at it.

Can you work the full time hours flexibly? Such as doing 2 days of school hours so can do the drop offs and pick ups on those days, and then 3 longer than average days where your partner does the drop offs and pick ups. We have 2 children aged 5 and 8 and this works well for us as we do different longer days so 4 days out of 5 one of us is present, and 5th day pick up is done by a grandparent.

If not, I would go with the shorter hours while young.

@Niliu If your income is over £100k you wouldn't be eligible for tax free childcare and you'd only be entitled to the universal 15hrs funded childcare as well for the 3yo. And obvs no child benefit either.

If you managed your income to under 100k by dumping the excess in your pension, which obviously is inaccessible until you reach retirement age, you could work around this but your monthly take home pay would be of course lower, but so would your childcare bill because you'd have the funded hours and the TF childcare back again.

Just something else to consider on school hours 60k vs FT 100k!

I'd probably go for school hours job. It's an excellent salary for part time work!

You sound like you really want to take the higher paid option but feel a little guilty about it and wanted some support in doing it. Go for it! It’s the old ‘a man wouldn’t think twice’. You have your husband’s support and the hours don’t sound too unsociable at all. Get a bigger house and all the lovely holidays you’ll be able to afford. ❤️

@JumpstartMondays I agree this is worth thinking through but given the OP suggests her salary would go up rapidly, she isn't likely to be in the just over 100k bracket for too long

I'd do full time. Work additional hours when your partner does pick up so you can pick up the other days. If they have clubs and you have a very short commute sounds fine.

I have always worked full time but due to having a flexible job attended every school event, was on the PTA etc... picked up half the week. My children loved after school club.

Mine have left school and I have a great career that had enabled us to have a good lifestyle. Now divorced having my own money is very important

For me it would semi depend on, if, with the school time hours, I would not need any before and after school clubs. IE can you wfh around drop off and pick up (or a nearby office) or are you still going to need wraparound because of a commute?

I am assuming you took maternity leave X2, I would say go for the ft role, your DH is pt and can therefore be the default parent. You really don't both need to be going to the park after school, maybe try to negotiate 1 earlier finish ?

Mmh I'm not sure I'd want to do all those school runs at both ends of the day! Also, is it realistic that you can fit your work into those hours as I've always hated the occasions I've had to finish early for a (kids) appointment or end up missing an important meeting that goes ahead without you.

Are there other options? I'd get your DH to do the drop offs each day and you could start early, doing 8-3 or 8-4?

I've always worked FT ish, but have increased it as kids have aged. Started with 28 hours then 30, 32, now 35 but compressed 5 into 4. Having a Friday to myself has kept me sane, and much better than working school hours. In my case it would have harmed my career significantly. Now my DS is 10, I'm reaping the rewards of keeping predominantly in work 'FT', rather than taking a step down to a role suitable for school hours.

I'm on a similar career trajectory with a similar commute and my kids are 2 and 5. I do 4 full days which is perfect for me. I feel I can be fully present at work on those 4 days without clock watching to 2.30 (not saying you would!) And my day off is 100% for the kids - school drop off and pickup, a toddler class, an afterschool club. It is not harming my progression at all!

I have considered 3 full days and 2 days around school run, still working 30 hours. That would be hard for me around the types of meetings my role tends to involve so parked that idea for now but I may come back to it.

You should go for whichever option that you feel is right for you, regardless of what anyone says you “should do”. Your family will be good !

just really look into the tax structure for the two roles. You will lose both child benefit and funded nursery hours so overall I am not sure how much better off you would be. Maybe do the numbers and ensure you have those facts as well?

Personally I would take the FT 100k role. Your husband only works part-time (30hrs) and is around to do drop-off and pick-ups. You say you’d feel guilty letting him do it all. WHY? When roles are reversed, does the man feel guilty?

Getting home at 5.30pm, you will have ample time with your children in the evening. The difference that the extra money will make, plus the extra career progression you’ll get with the FT job over the next 15 years, will have the biggest impact on your children’s lives. Hobbies they’ll be able to pursue, holidays, bigger house. They won’t remember if they had you for an extra hour while doing homework or watching tv after school.

I don’t have as well paid a job, but have found FT work far better than part time. I experienced discrimination working part time (0.7 then 0.8 fte) and went full time when DC2 was 4 partly because of that. Things like being allocated rubbish work, workload, passed over for opportunities, just a huge change in how I was treated.

with school hours imagine the days would feel quite rushed and you’d be juggling meetings to avoid your leaving times - I found that really hard when I finished at 3.45

i also put a high priority on my personal financial independence - earning ability and pension are important. Alongside parenting.

Assume your H doesn’t work PT and that’s just ‘standard’ for fathers.

In your situation I would do FT, perhaps seek to negotiate some flexibility within that, not move house (ie don’t make any big financial commitments) and see how you find it.

Not really necessary to snipe at that poster when their response was logical and not at all
offensive. Non sleeping children is probably even more reason to go for the part time though.

This is exactly it. Full time stress is when you’re trying to do it all as a mother. The fact your DH can do the school runs and cover at home will have a huge impact.

I’d do the full time. I actually think it will be less stressful than rushing around trying to condense your job in to school hours - then rushing for pick up and all the after school stuff.

Also if you genuinely get home at 5.30 that’s not too late. You will still see a lot of your children.

It’s much harder and more stressful doing full time if the DH is also working long hours and can’t help.