To choose to work school friendly hours?

[Niliu]

I will soon need to make a big decision about role at work- either way will be a senior position.
I can choose to do school hours (9.30am-3pm) 4 days a week at £60k, or work FT for £100k.

In the latter role I'm also more likely to be able to expand the role and have £10k rises quickly, whilst in the former school hours role my pay won't see any major leaps and I would have to take on more hours to get any more money- there's also a chance I could get 'stuck' in this role.

I feel annoyed at myself contributing to the female 'pay gap' by taking the lower paying role and I love the idea of being able to afford a a bigger house and better holidays. However my kids are still only little (5&3) and I feel they will benefit from my time.

If it's relevant husband works 30 hours week hybrid job at £35k. He is an equal parent.
Actual content of role is fairly similar so no differentiating factors there either.

Help me decide!

Actually, the cliff edge is higher (early morning and not close to those brackets 😀)

look at the thread below - but still do the numbers…. The pay rise may not really make a difference.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5059311-cliff-edge-for-those-earning-over-ps100kpa-what-does-this-mean-is-it-correct

I don't regret working school hours. I'll up them when the kids go to secondary. I think it'll be a shock to my system! School hours will help you in the school hols too, we find the holiday clubs are 9-3.

I'm envious of that wage for the hours...

I would take the higher paid job and progress in my career. From my experience, the more senior you are, the more autonomy you have over your timetable. I was fulltime and at the top of my career by 30 and then had my kids. But because of that, I managed my own week and never missed a sports day, concert or parents evening. My husband was also senior and high-earning and between us we did all the school runs.

It was not easy but I have no regrets. Full time gave me more flexibility in my work than sticking to part time hours.

And I was never treated as anything less than equal at work by peers. The money was great too!

Really surprised at the number of posters saying go for school hours. I can understand if your DH also worked long hours with no option to reduce, and you'd be relying on wraparound care every day. But if he can do drop off and pick up, with maybe a bit of wraparound care used as well, that seems like the perfect solution. You've still got one parent available for the kids around those times.

If it was you with the 30 hours a week job, would your DH be considering a 40k salary drop? I don't mean that as a criticism of your DH, it just feels like perhaps you're factoring in society's expectations that it should be you at home available for the kids - despite your huge earnings potential.

My answer would also change if the 100k job was likely to be very long hours and high stress to the point that it impeded on family life in other ways. But if it's largely going to be 9-5 and your quality of life won't be impacted, I think it's almost a no brainer to go with that option. I say that as someone who took a pay cut to move to my current, less senior role because the previous one wasn't making me happy so I do understand that it isn't all about career progression.

I couldn't turn down £40k plus pay progression when you've got a DH on a lower paid track, it doesn't make sense. I've managed to work full time relatively comfortably with my kids in a senior role, and DH frequently working away. Unless you're very well set up financially already with the house/savings/lifestyle you want, I'd give it a stab first and if you struggle, then I would take a step down.

School hours at that salary is a unicorn job.

However,

You do have DH able to do pick ups and drop offs and presumably a lot of that stuff that gets done afterwards, cooking, getting laundry on etc, so you’re hopefully in a position that you’d not have to do the same amount of unpaid work at home whatever your paid hours are.

Can to use up some flexi time or annual leave to try out the pattern for a couple of weeks. I work 5 days, 3 of which are school hours and those days go so quickly, the 2.5 hours makes a big difference on what can get done in the day which has the potential to get stressful. It would depend a lot for me the extent to which the job really is adapted to require less time in the week to do to a level you can live with.

What hours do you work at the moment and how do you feel it works for you?

I’d discount the potential new house in the decision and focus on career and work/life balance needs. Space can be created with decluttering, and in a few years time their desire for toys will start to decline.

If you do the school hours job for now, how much will it hold you back long term?
I worked 3 days worth of hours over 5 days to fit in with school when my kids were that age, then upped to 4 days over 5 so I could still do some pickups and drop offs without breakfast/after school club every day. Then went full time when youngest was 9ish via a combination of wfh with flexibility to do pickup then back to work, and sharing after school pickups with a friend, meaning that when my youngest was with me and I was working she had someone to play with.

it doesn’t need to be a forever decision.

On space, can you be more ruthless about what toys are kept and what is culled, and create more storage? The toys everywhere stage isn’t all that long in the grand scheme of things

Why would you feel guilty? He works a 0.75 load, many parents do that purely to facilitate pickup/drop-offs.

I don't know any couple with kids where both are part time. Surely DH will pick up the school slack ? Remove the guilt... one full time role would have benefits for the family too. They're only small for a short time works both ways. Being able to afford all the extras when they are teens is nice too

DH could do most pick up and drop offs and with a bit of after school club can make it work. I'd feel a bit guilty though it all being on him.

And with all due respect, stop being such a wet wipe, it's not the gender pay gap you'd be letting women down for, it's this comment here. You'd be earning 3 X more than him.

Are these your only options? Is there any after school club options for your kids?

I do a combo. Work full time but pick up the kids at 3.30 2 days and take them swimming. 2 days they do activities but in school til 5. And one day they do wrap around care til 6. Catch up with emails and other bits in the evenings. Until my youngest got to reception it was hard but now it’s perfect - great to be at the school gates for pick up twice a week but also I feel Like a fully contributing employee.

I differ with others I think, I'd do the full time one and take the money. The time you are getting with your children is a bit of extra getting ready time in the morning and the snack/ dinner time bit- for a lot less money. If you'd still be able to take time for some school events, and you have an equal parenting partner who can be there for them for some/ all of those pick ups and drop offs, then I'd do it.

For context, I'm a single parent earning significantly less than half that, missing those parts of the day with my children, BUT we have a lovely (earlier!) morning routine and evening routine, so I don't feel that I've missed out by them being in childcare until 5.30pm.

I feel that getting higher up now would be worth it, and then you can always taper it down if it's too much but you've shown on your CV that you've done it. Get as high as you can before down grading a bit, iyswim?! I gave up some responsibilities when I became a single parent and it is hard to claw them back once your employer sees you prioritise your family, unfortunately.

Gosh I'd absolutely take the school hours job. It's like a gold dust job as t that salary.

As a family you'll still have 90k coming in so you'll still be high income AND you'd get the work life balance and the ease that comes from being home more.

Take the full-time role. Especially as you has a DH who is able to share the load plus is not on a very high pay.

I don't get all the people saying, oh your kids are your first priority and then telling you to do schooltime hours!!

Money gives you options, opportunities that you can pass on to your children. Like a bigger house, more travel, house deposits, etc

Personally the school hours as that's still very good money and you will get child benefit on top remember. Earning between £100k and £130k is a sort of dead spot as tax thresholds eat into pay rises.

Children are only young for a short time. That said alternatively could your dh drop hours to school hours? As the lower earner that makes economic sense

But "take the money" would make sense more if they werent already high earning. Working school hours gives £90k between them so they already are high earning and have options.

I feel annoyed at myself contributing to the female 'pay gap' by taking the lower paying role

Feel proud for not seeing yourself only as another cog contributing to the economy, paying max taxes.

Proud for affirming motherhood as an equally important role (or more) in our society as a whole.

Op working 9-3 is pointless. You can't do drop off or pick up. So you'll be relying on afterschool or your DH. So all the disadvantages of being part-time and none of the benefits.

Given DH already works part-time I think it makes sense for you to push forward with your career. And be putting as much into your mortgage and pension as you can. Nobody wants to be working to state retirement age nearly 68 or older.

Both working part-time neither of you will be able to push forward in careers. Youll eventually get frustrated when people 10 years younger get promoted above you.

Alternatively you could work 4 full days with the plan to go full-time ones your lo starts school. I have a full-time colleague who worked 4 days for a bit then negotiated full-time but with an extra couple of weeks holiday a year when her youngest started school.

Given that your dh can do most of the pick ups, I'd go for the FT job. It sounds as though there is more scope for progression.

My dh worked FT when our dc were small. He rarely got home before bath/bed time. They're not scarred by it! I did a school hours job to accommodate the pick ups and my career stalled for a few years. In hindsight I might have made different choices.

As someone said upthread, a man wouldn't think twice about taking the FT role.

Proud for affirming motherhood as an equally important role (or more) in our society as a whole.

What pish, what about fatherhood? He is available, she doesn't need to be the one doing the school because she's the one with a vagina, she is being a good mother bringing in a good salary for the family.

Until you said your husband was part time I'd have definitely said school hours as it makes life so much easier, but he will be there for them. Could you start and finish earlier in FT job? Could you condense hours so one day a week you work shorter hours and from home?

I don't really get the argument that school hours makes life so much easier - it depends on your childcare options but the OP implies there is wraparound care available.

We do a mix of wraparound and picking up the kids straight from school and I honestly don't find the wraparound days particularly difficult. In fact, I think I find them easier! The day I work a short school hours day, I feel so rushed and stressed, I am actually thinking of switching to full hours that day.

For me it would be 100% school hours, especially as you are still on a good salary and have a respectable position. Your quality time and more relaxed lifestyle is worth more to all of you than nicer holidays or a bigger house. Unless you are utterly miserable where you are. Your relationship will benefit too. You'll still be busy but you both might get to relax at weekends instead of catching up on stuff.

The older the children get, the fewer toys they'll have. You might find that the playroom doesn't even get used, if they prefer to spend time with you in kitchen or sitting room for example.

Be aware that often part time working means working full time for part time money. By being part time there is so much less time to fit in stuff so you work through lunch, and trying to dash off at 2.30 to pick up the kids is very hard as you can't just leave a client/that urgent thing that needs doing hanging. Your full time hours sound really reasonable and you have husband to do the school grind - and it is a grind. My children loved breakfast and after school clubs on the days they did them and another poster said you don't want to be sat in the car waiting for an activity to finish. I wonder whether you could ask for a flexible working pattern on two days so you could start really early on those days and end in time for pick up.

You will be relegated and stuck if part time. You will watch those with no kids sail forth to the next promotions, etc. in my experience, as a teacher, children need you far more as teenagers and high earning mothers, in my experience, have done their time at the coal face and then once teenage Esmerelda starts having major angst, can call the shots at work and can drop everything to take time off to deal with the situation.