To think it’s selfish for parents to retire early when their kids are renting?

[Lesbeavinu]

Dh has decided he is going to retire at 59. He has a great government pension and private pension/savings. He earns a decent £50k a year (same as me) and we have no mortgage.

I said that dh should continue working for another year or 18 months and gift the money to dd for a flat deposit.

🍿

Do you still work?

His choice, his life, his moeny

IMO, DD can work a bit harder, do more OT get a better paid job etc - OR
live with you guys and save a mass on rent

ours stayed with us until they saved a deposit - we gifted them money later as they did not ask or expect

Just to add, his job is very low stress, 9-4pm, fully remote.

It would be better if he wanted to do that himself really. You can't force him to stay on at work if it's that dreadful he wants to quit early.

Or, he could retire and free up a job for someone younger.

OK

With that additional bit of info.

I'm still standing by omy initial post here

OR older, ie promotion etc and some could fill their job etc

Do you work?

YAB massively U

He might keel over at 60. If he’s managed his life well enough that he can retire at 59, more power to his elbow - hope he enjoys a long and happy retirement without you making him feel guilty for it.

True, 59 is very young. I’d just be worried dh would be bored and get depressed.

For 1 extra year of work yeah I would do this for my kids, particularly if I was 59 (versus 70 or something)

I agree op. I’m a single mum but definitely will sacrifice to ensure my kids get onto the property ladder including retiring later. But you can’t force him.

I could see myself working longer than I need to if my DC could benefit from it. However, I think YABU to expect your DH to do so.

Hell be getting a lump sum, he could gift that.

Or he could enjoy his retirement, given that he has worked hard for years. And your adult child can save up for a deposit just like we all had to. This infantilising of capable working adults just because they are your offspring is absolutely crazy..... this gentleman has more than done his bit.

YABU. Get your own job and pension.

Haha! He can retire if he wants at 59. His choice.

Both my DDs had bought their first homes well before I turned 60. I helped them both with deposits. They haven’t needed any money from me for a good few years and both would be mortified if I had continued to work past 60 just to give it to them.

lol - dont worry about being "bored."

We both left aged just over fifty within the months f each other - one was palneed and the other was in years time but had a medical scare and thought stuff that and we were going to leave when we had out first grandkid and that was around the corner

if you can afford to leave early, leave and enjoy your life, get routine etc - grandkids really help pas the time if they live within walking distance or few mins by car

Are you going to delay retirement to gift money to them?

I retired at 50 because my works pension allowed me to, I gave my only child the money for the deposit for his property.

I feel this 'child' resents me and all I stand for but took the money,

Do you work OP? Would you be able to gift your daughter money from a salary you earned?

I agree you could both do more to help your daughter financially. Those saying your child should just ‘work harder’ are being incredibly naive about how difficult it is to save in this economy.

All my kids are still renting. I'd have had to work into my nineties to save enough to give them all house deposits.

(That's a YABU from me.)

Completely agree. And if it's so important to you OP, would you be prepared to work for an extra couple of years to give DD the money?