To think it’s selfish for parents to retire early when their kids are renting?

[Lesbeavinu]

Dh has decided he is going to retire at 59. He has a great government pension and private pension/savings. He earns a decent £50k a year (same as me) and we have no mortgage.

I said that dh should continue working for another year or 18 months and gift the money to dd for a flat deposit.

No, it isn’t the same at all, it is much harder for young people to buy a house now than older generations. Much much harder. Spiralling house prices, wage stagnation, cost of living. And most of them won’t get to retire until they are late 60’s, probably 70’s.

A million times this. Older generations who fail to acknowledge any of this are being cruel to be honest. ‘Just like we did’- they would be able to buy if things were ‘just like they were’!!

If this isn't a wind up, why would he be thinking of going at 59, OP? I assume there would be a huge actuary reduction on going at 59 compared to standard pension age 60.

God almighty, its right there in the OP!!!!!

If you want to help them you can work

Chickenuggetsticks · Today 05:12
Reality is that in some areas it’s extremely difficult for young people to get a deposit together, it means people are paying mortgages into their 70’s because they are getting on the housing ladder so late.”

We’re 60 and 65. Our mortgage is paid off in 2 1/2 years. Ought we to go straight from that to paying our kids’ mortgages? No, I don’t think so. We help them as and when we can but that would be an entirely unreasonable expectation (which, thankfully, they don’t)

Many people prefer renting for the flexibility, only the UK has this ownership obsession.

DS does, he rents a city centre flat which he certainly wouldn't want to buy as they are not the best type of properties for purchasing. He is not interested at the moment in owning a house which he would have to constantly commute into the city from.

Some parents choose to gift their children large sums of money, houses, etc - what's the problem? No point being bitter because you had to save when other people have an easy ride in life.

Are you serious?? Why should he? 🤦‍♀️

You can get a 2nd job and gift the money.

You can draw some private pensions at 55. State pension won't kick in until 66

People on here really don’t get the reality of the difficulty in home ownership for the younger generation.

Reality is a lot of people will have been forced to live in multiple homes, so gone through the financial and emotional stress of being forced to move through no fault evictions.

The property ladder concept is outdated and no longer works for younger generations due to rental prices and deposits.

I absolutely would help our child, we’ve been through the same (both mid 30s) and have experienced the difficulties ourselves.

The ‘just work harder’ idea just shows how out of touch with reality some people are.

Interesting how if anyone mentions 'boomers' people run around around like headless chickens screaming "AGEISM" but we can slate Gen Z for "expecting things" from their parents and "not working for their money like we all had to".

Can't have it both ways...

you can't buy time

odds on your dh has less life left than your dd and time is precious

If your daughter could give your father a present the best present she could give him is time

I agree that there is definitely a double standard on MN and I often call out ageism to young people on MN and the silence is apparent, but OP can’t dictate to her husband like this.

I doubt she would practice what she preaches.

"Dad, because it appears to be all your fault mum does not have to do anything, I know you want to retire but you can't until you give me money for a deposit" is not the answer

I have decided to move out of my family home and leave it to my children, while I take a tiny flat somewhere with DH. I am quite serious. I would rather that than we both work longer. DH has a very stressful job and won't be able to do it in his 60s.

I rented for years, lived in flats and did not receive any money for a deposit from my parents, but apparently it would be cruel to expect my children to do the same. So they get the family home. It's only fair, seeing as it's so difficult. I wouldn't want them to come on MN and complain about their boomer parents! ( though we are not boomers).

There is nothing wrong with helping your kids or being helped.

however you should never force a spouse into doing it. She can help the kids herself

We’ve been through the stress of no fault evictions, seeing savings swallowed up by urgently needing rental deposits which we rarely got back.

We found it hard so our children should too isn’t the parent I want to be. It’s not the child’s fault the economy and home ownership is so difficult, it’s helping not spoiling them.

They earn 100k between them with no mortgage, she could easily have helped her dd out before now if she wanted to!

From a daughter perspective. My parents weren't in a position to retire young, but I would have wanted them to do so if they had the chance rather than give me a deposit.

I'd much rather they be able to enjoy their retirement. They have never been able to help me financially but do it in other ways like with childcare and advice which I am very grateful for.

@Lesbeavinu better still, you can work longer and give your wages to your DC!!!!

But it's a 'government' (civil service or local government) pension. You can take it at 55 but it is hugely actuarially reduced if taken before a set pension age – probably 60 here.

So if this isn't a wind up, I don't see why he's going at 59 not 60.

...

Totally agree. There is no comparison between the situation we faced 30 years ago in buying a house, and that of young people today. As we live in the SE, we will help our kids out with deposits, and everyone we know plans to do the same.

...double posted shitty screen.