To think it’s selfish for parents to retire early when their kids are renting?

[Lesbeavinu]

Dh has decided he is going to retire at 59. He has a great government pension and private pension/savings. He earns a decent £50k a year (same as me) and we have no mortgage.

I said that dh should continue working for another year or 18 months and gift the money to dd for a flat deposit.

YABU completed unreasonable because you've generalised about all parents in your thread title when it's just a problem, in your mind, with your DH.

There'll be plenty of time for DD to get his money when he's dead.

Meanwhile he should enjoy his much earned retirement while he's still able to, and your DD should pay her own way in life while she's still able to.

My dad died at 64 and couldn't help me out with a house deposit anyway. You know what's better than money, or at least it sounds like your partner does

Honestly nearly all the posts these days are about how Gen X aren't getting enough money from their parents.

Yes it's difficult in this economy. That doesn't mean parents should give up all joy to help their kids.

£100k joint income and no mortgage, surely you’ve already saved towards your dds house deposit? How long until he’s 59?

No one ever gave me any handouts nor would I expect them and I floated own boat nicely. On the other hand, baby sibling got lots of handouts and squandered a lot of easy got money and still expects handouts for more of the same. I think I know which I’ll be doing with my children tho I know it is hard to see children struggle. Have to be cruel to be kind, I need to learn that yet 🙈

Why can't your DD work for her own deposit?

Here’s an idea… 💡

Your husband retires… you with your unmentioned livelihood stays out of it, and your fictional kids support themselveslves!

Other than that I’m just here for the comments

She says she earns £50k in the OP. Do people never read the OP these days?

Gen x are age 44-59 , I've never seen a post about them needing money from their parents

My husband and I are long-term renters at 43 and 48 and, despite both working ft, we have zero chance of ever owning our own home. It's a huge financial struggle.
My parents (both early 70s) live in an expensive four-bed new build with rooms going spare as it's just them. My dad took early retirement at 55. They have no mortgage.
Our financial situation is not their problem.

Right?! at 59 the OP’s husband is solidly GenX.

Leave us out of this we earned our own way.

You are absolutely right. I am Gen X. I meant Gen Z expecting money from Gen X.

About 10 posts a day wondering why adults are not being subsidised by their parents.
DH is likely to retire by 58 and if DC have to rent, it's their problem frankly. I don't see renting as that awful.

Or maybe your daughter could work for it and earn her own money for a deposit like everyone I know had to do. I could have given my kids the money for their deposits but I didn't, because me forcing them learn to save and work for what they want is a far more important gift than just handing them money they didn't earn.

If OP's husband is 59, he's just about Gen X, I think. So I assume the DD is a millennial. (Not that I personally like generalising by age group because there's wide variation within any age group).

ETA as I cross posted with others pointing that out.
But regarding Gen x are age 44-59 , I've never seen a post about them needing money from their parents

There's about 2 million people over 50 private renting. Although it's not for them to ask their parents for help to buy, and tbh it's unlikely anyone still renting at that age has parents able to help (assume if their parents had the money they would've helped before their kids got to 50), I can understand why someone over 50 might wish, however unrealistically, that they could have help. Unlike OP's DD, who's presumably in her 20s or 30s and has time to save more or get a promotion, those Gen X who're still private renting are unlikely to ever afford to buy.

I understand how you feel OP. We all want our DC to be ok housing wise, but it's unfair to expect your DH to delay his retirement. You could work longer though if you want to.

If all parents stopped this ridiculous practice where up to 6 salaries contribute to a single deposit, and buyers were left to buy what they could afford themselves, it might start driving house prices down for everyone, including those who don’t have access to a lot of other people’s hard-earned money to fund their first purchase.

Yes I have said its a typo! Wish I could go back and edit.

YABVU. There comes a time when children have to stand on their own two feet. There is nothing wrong with helping out, but no, if someone wants to retire then they should do it when THEY want to.

YANBU to want to help your daughter.

If he has a good public service and private pension he will get a big chunk of cash tax free, maybe he plans to gift her some of this?

If he wants to retire at 59 that's his choice. I presume you'll continue to work and you can give money to your daughter if you want to. I imagine you also have savings on that income with no mortgage. I hope he has a long and happy retirement.

You'll get roasted OP, MN gospel is that all wealth is "hard earned" and it is a parent's duty to stand back and watch their adult children struggle.

Personally I think it's bullshit. This generation categorically have it harder. Our rough goal is to try and level the playing field a bit between our position and theirs - we were able to buy our first flat in the South East on decent but not remarkable graduate salaries in our early 20s, and slowly move up the ladder from there. We were careful but comfortable and had no barriers financially when we had our children in our 30s.

We've been fortunate and should hopefully be in a position to retire at a similar age to your DH is proposing while still helping out young adult children with a contribution to deposits. But if things change then yes absolutely I would consider working longer if health allows and it makes the difference between our children being able to achieve housing security and consider children of their own, if they want to.

Actually I think MN gospel is that even if parents give their kidneys to help out, it's not enough!

My FIL retired at 60 and died the year after. Enjoy yourself: it’s later than you think.