To think it’s selfish for parents to retire early when their kids are renting?

[Lesbeavinu]

Dh has decided he is going to retire at 59. He has a great government pension and private pension/savings. He earns a decent £50k a year (same as me) and we have no mortgage.

I said that dh should continue working for another year or 18 months and gift the money to dd for a flat deposit.

Exactly.

If DH retires, one assumes the OP will work and be the main earner! Possibly she’s a bit younger. If both retire early, that’s quite a drop in earnings. I think the DH isn’t doing a manual job. He’s working from home so a year is hardly a big deal.

Also no one talks about the joy of giving. Most of us get pleasure from giving. It’s why we do it for birthdays, Christmas and anniversaries. We enjoy this aspect of being a human being. It makes us happy. Most of us enjoy sharing and helping close family. I’m totally surprised that so many people are not with the OP and seeing this.

How old are you and how many years have you worked for?

If the OP wishes to give I think that is fine. I would have expected as a couple that they would have discussed some years ago what they would be doing to support DD and how-together- they would be funding this. Even in retirement some support for the daughter should be possible. In your late 50s people can be in very different mental and physical states. Even if the job is "cushy"- be interested to see if DH would agree with this- people can be tired and need to rest. On a fairly high combined income and no mortgage it should be possible to provide DD with some support and retire with good planning.

If DH retires, one assumes the OP will work and be the main earner! Possibly she’s a bit younger. If both retire early, that’s quite a drop in earnings. I think the DH isn’t doing a manual job. He’s working from home so a year is hardly a big deal.

So what if she is the main earner, if you're right and she is younger then she would have known this would happen. DH is older than me and he retired 3 years ago, it was hardly a surprise!

I don't do a manual job but believe me an extra year would be a big deal. I wouldn't do it for the benefit of someone else who was capable of working. I don't have kids but there's no way I would delay retirement to support DH's adult kids.

"Clearly, you would not have felt it necessary to pay for all your DC's uni fees and give them all large house deposits if things were the same as they were in the 1970s/80s." Kind of - my parents made my tiny minimum grant up to the maximum (and paid school fees before that) but I do accept they in effect paid half what people today have to pay. Yet only 15% of my generation went to university so people may age mostly are worse off on the university front not better off as they had no chance to go. I think my parents gave a bit of help to my siblings for housing and I was married and my husband's parents helped him with his first house before we married so I don't accept in my case there is a vast difference. I have given more for housing because I happened to be quite successful in my work than my parents not least because wages rose in real terms from initial £6250 salary in 1983.

However born in the 60s I don't feel like some kind of blessed generation with easy access to buying a property in London. We couldn't afford inner London, I took 2 weeks off to have a baby as we needed the money. We spent 50% of net pay in 1984 on full time childcare. We sold properties at a loss in the 90s. It has n ot been some really easy bed of rose. I h ad £1.3m of mortgage at one point and was paying ou £90k a year interest only after my divorce in about 2004/5. Before that in the 190s we had Black Wednesday and at one point interest rates of 17%. It hasn't really felt really easy to buy properties to me for most of the period of my life. We couldn't even afford Ealing in the 1980s as it was so expensive - we were both from the North.

I hear you Zenia. At one point we were paying. 14 percent interest. Struggle isn’t always negative it gives u a blue print. Also no one giving advice because they gave out a lump sum to help. Each generation has a good bit and a hard bit .

We started off paying 15% interest on £15,000 with 18% on a top up loan as it was called. However house prices were not such a stretch. So yes, higher interest rates and mortgage relief, but much cheaper housing.

@Cyclebabble I don’t quite understand why they, as a couple, haven’t discussed this earlier in terms of supporting DD. There’s a huge gap on this thread with many not understanding how high rents are. Way more than we ever experienced. Also wages have been pretty static. Hence strikes by many government workers. They might be adults but they don’t earn enough to save £20,000. It’s unfortunate but true for very many DC.

@Proserphina I worked for 27 years plus a few more doing casual work. However I’m happy to say DH did very well and has worked for 50 years next month! I supported his business by doing nearly everything else. So between us we’ve put in a shift. My father worked for 58 years.

We retired before 59, best thing we ever did. Spend our time in warmer climes. The kids are now in their 20s. Its up to them to save money , not us. Feel sorry your your husband thinking he should work to subsidise them.

Child should work. Or you can gift it.
It builds character for people to save and get on their own two feet.
Good on the husband, he should retire.
He worked hard for his money and pension savings.
A friend of mine who is 58 and worked his entire life has just been diagnosed with cancer with a few years to live.
Another friend died on his 60th birthday.
You need to think of your husband.
Time is invaluable.
Your daughter can always work harder for money and money will come and go. But health won't.
My father passed at 62 and my grandmother at 64.
So let people make their own decisions. You husband has so let him enjoy.
Life is short.
Oh and just to add, a work colleague passed at 37.
One of work colleague has retired early at 50. With a million in his pension pot. Was going to travel. He died. At 50.
Time is precious.

If he is ready to retire then he should.

You never know how long someone will live to enjoy their pension. The earlier he can retire, the better.

That information was in the original post and so isn't a question that needs answering.

It wasn’t the boomers that caused the financial crash, that turned the housing market upside down. As for house price rises - much of the enormous rise in house prices was due to younger people borrowing on both their salaries for larger mortgages, many boomer mums stayed at home with their children and their purchases were made on the basis of one salary. Why should that draw criticism?

Who are you to tell him what to do?

I retired at 56, more than ready after 42 years of work. I then took on the care of a 1 year old and have never stopped since. Life is good, just different.

Who starts paid full time work at 14? How old are you? I think the school leaving age was raised to 16 in 1972. Most pension schemes don’t start until 18 but that might be different now.

This is a full fact comparison: House price growth has outstripped income growth—but not by as much as you think

'It wasn’t the boomers that caused the financial crash, that turned the housing market upside down. As for house price rises - much of the enormous rise in house prices was due to younger people borrowing on both their salaries for larger mortgages, many boomer mums stayed at home with their children and their purchases were made on the basis of one salary. Why should that draw criticism?'

Have you just watched the video? I haven't listened to it at all recently but I very much doubt that is what he said because it's stupidly simplistic. Perhaps just your own interpretation?
Your interpretation of the causes of the enormous rise in house prices is also both stupid and simplistic. You need to read up a lot more if you genuinely believe this.

Do you read all the stories on here about lame arse blokes who rely on their partners, exploit them financially and emotionally, literally blow thousands on coke and don’t pay maintenance?

in contrast, you have a DH who had made sound decisions to get to the point where he can safely retire early and somehow you think you have the right to overturn this decision! So out of order…

An unreasonable from me. DD could always get a 2nd job, lots of people do, and that’s just to exist. Poor DH a hope he has a happy retirement full of all those things he wants to do.

I’m frankly surprised you haven’t’t suggested he works till 67 and gifts all the money he earns during this period as well. I means, it’s only reasonable, isn’t it? Maybe he should pay for holidays and furnishing as well?

Me too! Sounds fabulous! Let us know when it's available 😂

I would be paying for university and had paid for a very good education. Why is now expected to give away deposits for houses as well? Like we all have to or are ugly cruel people. On top of that Gen Z wants to do away with state pension. I say no no no… time to take care of myself.

Passed a motor home on the motorway. Had a big sticker on the back which said " Living the dream - spending the kids' inheritance". Selfish people.